Thank you Sin Gal for your comment to my last post. I have been having a bit of a tumultuous day, dear readers. If you haven't noticed... posting, deleting a post, saying I'm done with blogging, and then being back to blogging. I really am not generally such a crazy person or so emotional. But Sin Gal, you are most right life is not all happiness and light.
I have to say that all in all my life is good, but there are times in our lives when we wrestle with ourselves, where we are in life, why we are there and where we want to go. In some ways, it's like a triathlon. You get out of the water and maybe it wasn't that great of a swim, but now you have to decide do you have it in you to go on, to reach transition and take on the challenge of the bike, and then make it through the run. And as we all know, the run is NOT my favorite. Yet, some how at the end of every run, at the end of every triathlon there is a smile on my face.
I hope that all these wrestling matches with myself and where I'm going, what I'm doing are going to help me become that woman with the smile on her face, arms raised in the air in a sense of triumph - even if my time wasn't the greatest or my run was a walk or whatever.
In doing this - not only in my training and racing triathlons, but also in my life - I'm not always going to be happy and light. In a book I'm reading (this one is pure fiction and not necessarily meant to be inspirational) I saw the phrase, "sometimes our despair frightens others." I hope that on my dark days, I do not frighten you all away. I am trying to work it all out so I can be happy and light at some point and find that life and triathlon result in the super bling of the finisher medal, whatever form that it takes. I not just want to exist, I want to live. With that great passion for living comes tumultuous times, but I hope to work it all out.
So, to borrow from the Bard himself (and one of my favorite plays, Midsummer Nights Dream), i vow to continue but hope not to offend or to frighten:
If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend:if you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.