Monday, June 15, 2009

I have returned to the land of the blog...

Thank you Sin Gal for your comment to my last post. I have been having a bit of a tumultuous day, dear readers. If you haven't noticed... posting, deleting a post, saying I'm done with blogging, and then being back to blogging. I really am not generally such a crazy person or so emotional. But Sin Gal, you are most right life is not all happiness and light.

I have to say that all in all my life is good, but there are times in our lives when we wrestle with ourselves, where we are in life, why we are there and where we want to go. In some ways, it's like a triathlon. You get out of the water and maybe it wasn't that great of a swim, but now you have to decide do you have it in you to go on, to reach transition and take on the challenge of the bike, and then make it through the run. And as we all know, the run is NOT my favorite. Yet, some how at the end of every run, at the end of every triathlon there is a smile on my face.

I hope that all these wrestling matches with myself and where I'm going, what I'm doing are going to help me become that woman with the smile on her face, arms raised in the air in a sense of triumph - even if my time wasn't the greatest or my run was a walk or whatever.

In doing this - not only in my training and racing triathlons, but also in my life - I'm not always going to be happy and light. In a book I'm reading (this one is pure fiction and not necessarily meant to be inspirational) I saw the phrase, "sometimes our despair frightens others." I hope that on my dark days, I do not frighten you all away. I am trying to work it all out so I can be happy and light at some point and find that life and triathlon result in the super bling of the finisher medal, whatever form that it takes. I not just want to exist, I want to live. With that great passion for living comes tumultuous times, but I hope to work it all out.

So, to borrow from the Bard himself (and one of my favorite plays, Midsummer Nights Dream), i vow to continue but hope not to offend or to frighten:

If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend:if you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.


  1. First you are very welcome.

    Second, I learned a lot after my dad died and I blogged. Some people didn't like reading my blog, some people read it and said nothing, some people read it and said mean things. And for a while I thought about stopping. Then I got a email from a young girl who just lost her dad, and she told me reading about my saddnes helped her get through hers. Never censor yourself, you blog for you, and the poeple who like reading it will always like reading it. One of my favorite quote that one of my best friends sent me...

    "The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair of confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face us with the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares."

  2. amen to both.

    If we wanted to hear about good things there would be no daily news. Your life is yours with ups and downs and you, your loved ones and your friends will celebrate all of it (to varying degrees).