Thursday, July 29, 2010

Crazy Times

Thanks for all your comments on my last post!  It's been a crazy week, and I think the inability to run or bike this week has helped add to my craziness.  The other day I had so much energy in the evening that I ended up straightening the entire house, including my office, and then filed and painted my nails.  By 10:30 pm (which it is rare for me to see on a clock), Mr. Darcy was already sound asleep and I was making myself lay down in bed to coax myself to sleep.  Of course, it could be the sudafed too... luckily I'm only taking one dose in the morning...

Tuesday was "breakfast" with the Mayor.  It was a wonderful meeting.  He was really interested in our HIP Kids Program, and I got to say a few words about what we were doing and the sessions we had planned so far.  He was happy to say that it really fit with his vision of what that area needs and that we also were adding a nutrition component which was something they didn't really have the ability to address as readily... and then he said they were going to look into whether the Community Garden had any plots available and if it did, he was going to have them set aside for the HIP Kids Program. Oh Yeah!  The discussion was wonderful, but the breakfast (I ate before hand thank goodness) was a plate with muffins on it and a break room type set up for coffee.  They should have said it was a Meet and Greet or a Morning Chat, not a breakfast.  I had an idea of well, breakfast, eating and then chatting because they said "Come have breakfast with the Mayor."  But that was the only "drawback" and it was very minor.  Afterwards we had our group take a picture with the Mayor for their records and ours.  I have to say, it was the highlight of the day.

Yesterday was crazy in general.  At 10:30 I was given a research project that had to be done by the end of the day, and that was a bit like finding a needle in a haystack - and the haystack happened to be state and federal cases for 10 states.  I really enjoy reading cases and case law and doing research, but this was a bit much.  I had one search with 200 cases resulting, another with 181 results, and another with 36.  I had to laugh because the 36 were ones that I had already seen in my 1st 2 searches (and luckily there were duplicates in those too).  How many cases did I find that were at least close to on point (there weren't a lot that were 100% on point because the question was definitely a needle) out of all of those? 11.  I finished at 6:27 right before I was supposed to have my Junior League chairs over for our meeting at 7 pm.  Mr. Darcy was kind enough to pick up the kids and attempt to take them to gymnastics (which was not going on because it was the 5th week in the month), then went to the store and picked up food for dinner.  He forgot that I asked him to pick up fruit, cheese and crackers too, so he headed back for the cheese and crackers while I showered (luckily I had done yoga that morning and didn't sweat TOO much) and got ready.  I cut up the fruit we had in the house and made a little fruit platter.  Then it was meeting time, which went well.  I really like the ladies who are part of the committee leadership with me.  Then we got the kids in bed and I pretty much fell asleep while watching TV with Mr. Darcy.

Today is hopefully going to be a slower paced day.  I took the girls to school this morning.  Ladybug was cracking me up... she wanted to have "cereal squares" (Quaker Oats Oatmeal Squares cereal) in a bag.  But she originally wanted to eat them with a spoon.  I told her she could but that it might be a little difficult for her... so she decided to use chopsticks.  Yup.  Chopsticks.  She ate her cereal out of the bag by picking up one or two squares at a time with the chopsticks, and even handed a few to Angelfish on the way to school.  Those kids are a hoot!  And I've having lunch with a friend.  And working. And hopefully resting so I can get back to my exercising!!

Yoga in the morning.  I'm hoping to get the kids and Mr. Darcy out of the house early enough that I can do an hour's worth.  Fingers crossed... What workouts are you all doing? (So I can live vicariously...)

Monday, July 26, 2010

Sinus Infections and Other Fun

So last week I didn't feel that great.  Neither did Ladybug.  In fact, Ladybug spiked a temperature at school and had to stay home a bit.  Come this morning she was raring to go.  Meanwhile, I was worse for wear.  Not only was I now having the sweats, inner ear pain, and headaches that kept me from pretty much doing anything other than yoga last week, but now my entire brain felt like it would pop.

I have breakfast with the Mayor and the Junior League Executive Board tomorrow - turns out I may have to even talk a bit about our HIP Kids program which is pretty exciting.  Heck, I'm just as excited that I went and bought a suit dress and a cute chocolate brown blazer to wear over the top.  I actually look like I have an hourglass figure in the dress, so of course I had to buy it. 

With that in mind, it dawned on me around 10 am that perhaps I should see the doctor so I would not have to miss the breakfast.  They had cancellations, so I was in by 11 am.  The bad news: I have a very nasty sinus infection and now am on sudafed once a day, antibiotics twice a day, nasonex spray (2 squirts each nostril), and my regular clairnex. The good news: I've lost 11 pounds since starting my Paleo-Zone!  Whoo hoo!

It definitely motivated me to skip the ice cream that Mr. Darcy has been plying with me this past week.  Good thing the carton is empty.

Yoga it is for a few more days... and then I start the planned MWF run, spin, abs class, run and the TR yoga and body sculpt classes.  Saturdays will be either run or bike days.  If only my sinuses would cooperate!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The Whirlwind of Life

And so it goes... some of you have noticed that I haven't blogged as of late.  No injuries, no atrocities.  Just simply and utterly busy.  Some of the busy was good.  Some of the busy was trying, but none of the busy was bad.  It was only a moment ago that I realized it has been 2 weeks since I last posted.

So let's see if I can catch up a bit. If I can even remember that far back.  I don't think I ever got to the 4x800 sprints.  I think I did an hour on the trainer, followed by another day of yoga because I overslept, and then I got up early - the crack of dawn... before that actually - and ran the 1.3 miles to the Y, did the 45 minute spin class which was rather hard... doable but hard, more for the jumping from position to position, and resulting in my quads and my abs begging for mercy by 30 minutes in... then 1.3 mile run back home.  And yes, somehow I ran it.  I remember that my run to the Y was rather good for me.  1.3 miles in something around 24 minutes.

My parents visited that weekend and it was a good visit.  We took them and the kids to my Dad's Cousin's 65th birthday party, which was a good time even if Mr. Darcy pointed out that we were one of the youngest people there (aside from our kids) to which I remember responding, "it's a 65th Birthday party, what do you expect?"  It was wonderful to see some of the New Jersey family.  It was not wonderful however to be asked on 2 separate occasions by 2 separate people whether I was pregnant.  That spiralled a little bit of overindulgence on the cake eating... because if I'm working so hard and still look pregnant why bother right?  But then the stomach pains and intestinal issues the next day took care of such behavior after that.  I have to say that honestly I am highly considering a tummy tuck at some point in the next couple of years. The irony was that morning I turned to Mr. Darcy and said that really my arms look good, my legs look good and my back and butt even look good, it's just my stomach.  Which I guess is why I look pregnant. Sigh.

Monday it was back to work and lots of Junior League stuff.  Our 1st meeting - a meet and greet and "here's what we expect of you" chat went really well.  I think people are enthusiastic about our program and getting to work with the kids, so I'm optomistic.  Then it was off to Charlotte for 2 days for work.  4 planes in 2 days.  Always a thrill.  That Friday was the girls' annual check up where they were pronounced healthy, looking great and precocious, although Angelfish was acting a little immature which frustrated us.  Then I went to dinner with friends, had some drinks and saw "Eclipse."

Saturday I woke up at 5 am and came super close to not getting out of bed... which would have been a problem since I had a triathlon at 7 am.  A sprint.  All I wanted to do was sleep.  2 big glasses of white sangria and a cup of coffee that had me wired until about 1 am really weren't the best for the night before race day.  Luckily I had slept relatively well Thursday night.

The Moss Park race was good.  I went to transition and ran into several friendly faces as the Team in Training Nations Tri Team was doing the sprint as well.  Then I wandered off for the bathroom, took a dip in the lake which was rather warm (but then it was about 86 before the sun came up and humidity made it feel like a sauna anyway), listened to the pre-race talk about the swim course, and then waited for my wave - all women were in the 2nd wave. 

I was determined to give it my all.  My goal was to beat 1:30, but I also had the goal of not putting too much pressure on myself and having fun with it because to be quite honest the past 2 weeks had been a whirlwind and not a ton of training was had during the week leading up to the race  I didn't quite meet my A goal of 1:30, but I cannot complain because with a time of 1:39:20, I still PR'd by more than 7 minutes and placed 3rd in the Athena Divison.  Hardware!  The other thing to point out is that my previous PR was done in the lovely weather during March while this one was done in the sweltering Summer.  Not to mention the 4 plane rides, only 4 1/2 hours of sleep, and 2 cocktails (1 had me tipsy) the night before.  It made me wonder what I could do if I hadn't had all of that going on.  Proper rest and nutrition might have been the better idea.

So here's a quick race report.  The swim, I felt pretty proud of... 750m in 15:17 or a 2:02 pace per 100m.  I didn't freak out and even pushed another swimmer off of me when she tried to swim right over me.  I wasn't having it.  I was racing!  (I just checked and compared to the last time I did the swim I was 2:02 faster!)I knew I definitely pushed myself on the swim when I ran to transition and was panting so hard that I had to sit down in order to get my shoes on because bending over made me feel like I was going to pass right out.  Total transition was around 4:30 ... about 2 minutes for a 1/4 mile run from the lake to transition and then sitting on my bum for shoes and socks. 

Then I was off again.  The bike was great.  I felt awesome on the bike.  I was tearing it up.  I got passed only about 4 times and was passing tons of people on the bike.  It was great.  My average pace was 18.4 mph.  And I finished in a little over 40 minutes. Oh yeah!  (Last time I did a sprint, my average pace was 14.5 mph - definite improvement!).  When I got off the bike, Mr. Darcy and the girls were there.  Mr. Darcy cheered and the girls looked at me like they didn't know what the heck to say or do because I was jumping off my bike.  Unfortunately, I also felt like puking.  Other than caffeine and alcohol perhaps trying to get out of my system, I had not other reason for wanting to puke.

Transition here felt slow but it was less then 2 minutes, which for me is one of my better transitions.  Again ironic because I switched shoes sitting down and breathed in and out slowly a few times to keep the puke from rising.

Then it was off to run.  Here was the problem.  I know I can do better.  A 13:11 pace.  Looking back, I should have pushed myself much harder on the run.  But I was cramping.  Amazingly it wasn't necessarily my legs, which is why I think I should have pushed a lot harder.  The cramp would rotate from between my clavicle and my neck, to right under my right rib cage, to my right calf.  So I walked a little more than I should have and ran a bit.  I should have pushed through the pain more.  This is the only thing I was really annoyed with the day after, but at the same time it was sweltering and they ran out of water at mile 2, and well, I wasn't exactly in prime prep'd shape for the race to begin with.  I've been running on my own around 11 minute mile paces (and sometimes less), which if I had run in the race would have probably brought me in under 1:30 and moved me to 1st on the Athena podium.  But, it is what it is.  And I had a bloody great time doing the race and getting 3rd (not to mention having a great time with my friends the night before)!

After the race and getting my plaque, it was home for a shower and to hang out with the girls and then we headed to a bowling party for Mr. Darcy's alumni association gathering.  The girls were great thank goodness because I had a splitting headache and needed a nap.  4 pm rolled around and we headed back to the house where I promptly took a NAP!

And all between this, I have been working on a little something.  A little corporation... where I can do estate planning, probate, corporate and tax law (and maybe some guardianship) on a part-time basis outside of my 9 to 5 job. Independent consulting on the parts of law that I love - the "I feel like I actually helped someone today" sorts of things - for a good friend's firm.  I hadn't thought about having a part-time of counsel position on top of my full time job until Ms. J. started planting hints in my brain over the past few months and sending her law partner to me with questions about estate planning that she was attempting for folks and got those juices flowing again.  Extra money is never a bad thing, and some fun legal work outside of my full time gig isn't a bad thing either.  I'm not much of a risk taker when it comes to every day life stuff (other than triathlon and that stint of skydiving I did pre-children), and even though this really isn't a "risk" it sort of feels like one.  It's good to get out of the box.... even if figuring out details and forming a professional corporation have been eating up a bunch of my free time (ok pretty much any waking moment that I'm not working my full time job or watching the kids).

Because of the little something, I may have to cut back on some training at first which is a bit of a bother but I'm finding that I really don't have time for every single thing.  But not to fear.  I have a plan.  MWF of running to the Y, spin class kicking my butt possibly followed by the abs class, and then running home.  TR with yoga and a total body toning class.  This week was supposed to be the start and then I realized how many conference calls I had - not to mention having a hard time getting out of bed ... I am wondering if my thyroid meds need to be I am 100% committed to starting it next Monday. On the dot.  I hate to say that my blogging may suffer as well, but I will do my best to blog from time to time and keep in touch with your blogs as well.

Oh, and I've joined the ranks of the evil.  I have purchased a nook... with some gift cards "earned" through my world points credit card over the past year and a half.  I could almost hear books screaming as I made the purchase... telling me I will be sorry and miss turning those nice paper pages of my friends the books.  But then my bookshelves will thank me as they are overfull and have to be thinned out with donations to charity of books that I can part with.  My nook can store 1 million books. And it has a snazzy woodcut of Edgar Allen Poe with a raven when it's off and charging.  plus I can download a book at the beach.  Or when I just plum finish a book and have to find a new one to read.  I am going to have to pace myself.  I'm already anxious for it to finish charging.  Why don't they come pre-charged?  I was all set to read The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest for some evening wind down, but for that charging nonsense.

But then it gave me a moment to take a break from the whirlwind that has been my life as of late, and hit some blog reading... so perhaps it did me a little favor.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Planning to Run, Back Gets in the Way but Yoga Saves the Day!

I awoke this morning with lower back pain.  But unlike other times when it was definitely nerve pain, this seemed to be muscle pain.  Of course, it could be muscle pain caused by things not being quite in alignment.  Believe me when I say I was bummed.  I literally dreamt last night about doing running intervals - the plan was 4 x 800m fast with 2-3 minutes recovery between each, after a 10-15 minute warm up run and followed by a 10 minute cool down.  I even had mapped out on google maps the exact 800m loop I could use (I get bored running on a track sometimes, so I thought I'd go for making the neighbors wonder what, exactly, was up with me.).  My toes were literally itching to be in my running shoes. Oh I had plans.

But when my back is talking to me like it did, I have two options: 1) run anyway and see what happens; sometimes it loosens up and sometimes it sends me to the chiropractor; 2) postpone my run until tomorrow and do an hour of yoga, followed by a few minutes with the foam roller hitting all the major points from my upper back down to my calves.  With a race on the schedule for 10 days from now, I decided to go with option 2.  I don't want anything to get in the way of race day... even if it's not an A race.  I've already had to forego one race this year and had back pain that prevented me from running the right way in another race.

I didn't pick an easy yoga set to do.  In fact, it's one that I can't 100% do... but I'm getting closer.  I can do all of it except for one pose in the middle of the sequence. The Crane Pose. I have a feeling that I'm not quite doing it right and that if I had a little more help, I could get it.  That and I have to get my brain to believe that I can in fact balance the weight of my body via my knee/thigh area on the back of my arms which are bent in a bit of a push up sort of position (oh and my torso is sort of bent in half at the waist as well).  I can get myself up onto my tip toes in this position, but can't seem to get my toes off the floor.  If you want to see what I'm talking about go HERE (and where I found, in fact, I am doing it wrong.... I didn't realize you're supposed to get your knees up into your armpits.  I'll have to remember that for next time...)

I'll get there eventually.  Lots of strength and balancing poses this morning... the type that look easy but are harder to actually do and you really have to maintain your breathing with your movement.  It was great.  And at the end when we did the twisting postures for cool down, my back went click-click.  And no more muscle pain.

So tomorrow I'm bringing on the run.  4 x 800m  Here I come!

For some reason I am itching to make our back yard into a garden.  I don't want to put in a fence because we back up to a nature preserve and I like having deer and other animals wander on through, but I want to do something - something with color and that is inviting.  I know how to mow the lawn, plant shrubbery, prune bushes (even cut down trees) - you learn all that being the only child of a high school biology teacher (who spent most of his masters thesis on something about trees in West Virginia).  Selecting plants and how to arrange them just so is not something I've done before on as big of a scale as this.  I secretly oooh and aaaah over all the gardening articles in Southern Living every month.  Somewhere I don't trust myself to jump right in and do it, but it is calling to me.  Especially after the July article in Southern Living about lilies.  I love lilies, and according to Southern Living, they'd like my back yard.  Full sun.  I think they'd back the perfect background - especially since the article said to treat them like shrubs in the planting.  I'm a sucker for a garden with wispy tall things with lots of color in the back ground and then medium size plants and then shorter stuff in front.  The question is how and what plants.  I have a Southern Living Plant Guide book somewhere in this house.  I just have to find it and enlist Mr. Darcy - not to mention asking my friend K, who in Atlanta is the plant expert.  Plants, gardening and time share law.  Her opinion will definitely be sought.

So don't be surprised if I end up with a marathon gardening experience pretty soon. : )  Once I get up enough courage to try my hand at it anyway.  There seems to be something peaceful about being in the yard and digging in the soil to create something beautiful that is calling me.

Of course, so is work.  And getting the girls to gymnastics before heading off to my Junior League Committee meeting tonight. (Not to worry Mr. Darcy is meeting me at the gym to trade off on the parenting duties - I would never just leave them there!)  So I better "run"!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Fast Swim and Growing Up

I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July Weekend.  The weather here was rainy and/or overcast the entire weekend, which at least meant it wasn't in the upper 90's, but was a bit problematic for outdoor outings.

After having great chat the RockStar Tri about triathlon training, especially in regards to getting faster, I fully intended to change up my workouts.  Didn't get to it.  But I hope to work on the schedule this week.  I got mad at myself on Monday because I hadn't done any training on Saturday or Sunday.  But I did do a tough trainer ride on Monday while Mr. Darcy went out for a 27 mile ride.  I did a 10 minute warm up, 5x1 one legged drills (each leg of course), 10 minute recovery, 5 minutes in the big chain ring on my toughest gear standing up and pedaling, 5 minute recovery, then alternated sprinting 5x1 minute in a slightly harder gear and 1 minute recovery, and then a 10 minute cool down.  I knew I was really pushing myself because the girls were asking me questions about the horrible "Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea" that Mr. Darcy bought them and I could barely talk. (I can't stand the movie, but I have to admit I like the girls' title for it "The Little Mermaid has a Baby.")  So I was happy with the trainer ride, angry at myself because I didn't do more this weekend - I realized I was doing the "I don't want the girls to be upset if I go, and I don't want Mr. Darcy to have to worry about being with the kids on his own." thing.  No one else's fault but my own.  I didn't realize I was putting the world other than what I wanted first again until Mr. Darcy said Sunday night he wanted to go for a ride on Monday, then Monday woke up and put on his bike clothes without saying much of anything to me or the kids, and then disappeared when we weren't looking.  I wasn't mad at him.  I was mad at me.  Why can't I do that?  Well, you know what? I can.

So this morning I did.  One thing I realized in talking to the RockStar is that I don't do training tests. As in ever.  I don't know what I am capable speed wise of doing.  That sounds funny I'm sure since I go and do stuff every day.  But that's about can I get it done.  I have no idea what I really am capable of.  I left the house at 7:05, which included an extra 3 minutes for Angelfish who asked me if I could stay a few more minutes, had no traffic (I actually wondered if there was something I didn't know about because there were literally NO cars on the road in the neighborhood.), and got to the pool.  I found a book (yes, you know me and books) that I'm now waiting for the next Barnes and Noble coupon to come out so I can get it - Swim Workouts for Triathletes.   I use Barnes and Noble because I'm a member and save oodles on shipping and the prices USUALLY are the same as elsewhere, although every once in awhile they are a little more expensive.  I like saving money when I spend money.  Anyway. One of the sample pages happened to be a training test for Olympic Distance or IronMan Distance Triathletes.  3x300 as fast as you could - without losing form and as long as there was not a greater time differential than 15 seconds between your 1st and last.  Well, I did the 3 as full out as I could.  4:10, 4:15, and 4:12.  Then average the times and then divide by 3 to determine an accurate 100m time for a longer distance swim.  I was happily surprised because I thought I'd only be capable of 1:32-1:36 for my 100m pace.  But with this, it tells me that my average is 4:12.18 for the 300m.  Divided by 3 to get the 100m pace, that's 1:24.06!  Happy girl... now let's do that in open water. I didn't know I could go so fast. : )

In other news, I'm sort of realizing that I'm a "grown up" these days.  I mean, I get it - I have kids, am married, have a job, etc. But I never REALLY thought of myself as a grown up.  Somewhere over the past few days this has been really hitting me.  Probably because I realized I will be 35 in just about a month.  35.  Not old, but not young either.  Hitting what's referred to as "middle age." (Although I plan on living to well beyond 70, thank you very much.) But the nice thing I realized about being a grown up is that this means I should be able to set my own rules.  I've been kind of looking at things as "I'm committed to do this because I'm a parent" or because "I have a job."  But in reality, yes I am a parent and I have a job that I need my paycheck from so I can send the kids to college and retire at some point, but I can set my own rules about how I do it.  So I'm going to look at what is it that I really want, and how best can I go about getting it.  Because as an old lady, I can set the rules of my life (I do realize there are limits to this though... I can't run off and join the Marine Jag Core without at least involving Mr. Darcy in such a decision).  A positive from getting older. 

Knock on wood my turning 35 won't also turn my hair grey.  Mr. Darcy (who will be 36 in September) got his hair cut yesterday.  It was overdue for a cut.  There was a LOT of white hair there.  I had noticed it earlier in the weekend and said to him that he was getting more grey hair.  He didn't seem to notice it... untill he saw it on the floor at the barber.  And that's when he said something.  Luckily for him, it's all cut short now so you can't see it unless he's just in the sun light the right way.  I can't quite do that with mine.  Okay, I could, but I don't want to have the Sinead O'Connor look.  It looked awesome on her, but I just don't have the right face structure for it.

I'm off to seize my destiny... HAHAHA! 

Friday, July 2, 2010

Thoughts that Could Provoke a Headache

I've had headaches this entire week.  Every day around 4 or 7, I've gotten a headache.  Wednesday it started at 3:45 pm and lasted all the way through the rest of my work day, through my Junior League Meeting (which was a long one - this planning a brand spanking new program stuff takes some doing, I tell ya), and all the way home.  Not sure if it's a bad thing to take 1 aspirin and 1 execedrin migraine together, but it and sleep seemed to work (and at least I didn't take the full dose of the migraine medicine...).  Yesterday it started around 7 pm.  I had flashing lights but only when I closed my eyes, and sensitivity to light.  I only took the aspirin (I have to take one every night with my 1000mg of niaspan since my cholesterol while good decided that with my thyroid being it's little self that now it would be the evil crunchy kind of cholesterol - at least that's the doctor's theory because you know it's all hormonal.) I woke up with a mild headache this morning, and when Mr. Darcy rubbed my back it was like needles (No, I didn't tell him that.).  So what a good reason not to train right?  I decided - no excuses.  I'd like to drop 10 more pounds (not sure how many I've dropped because I'm not getting on a scale, but I'd definitely fitting into my size 8's again) by my birthday.  August 26.  I'll be 35.

I got Mr. Darcy to bring the trainer inside for me (it's a rainy grey day here), and I did 45 minutes on the trainer. (I had hoped for 60 but we had a late start to the workout due to Mr. Darcy and I not getting out of bed until a later hour of the morning.)  10 minute warm up, 5x1 one legged pedaling (both sides of course), a 5 minute recovery spin, 10 minutes at 95-100 cadence, and then a 10 minute cool down.  I'm pretty sure I hit that 95-100 cadence too... the entire 10 minutes I kept having the urge to put myself in a higher gear, which is what I do when I am on the road and my cadence is 95-100.  Amazingly, my headache went away during the ride and for about 30 minutes afterwards.

As soon as I got off the bike, I made my smoothie (strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, and blueberries, almond butter, whey protein, water and ice - yum!) and hear a commercial for some sort of treadmill with this incline that supposedly would blast the fat away.  And one of the selling points was that there is a video screen that lets you run or walk or whatever through any place in the world, including the route of the Boston Marathon.  A woman said, "I can run or walk anywhere I want to in the entire world - all from the privacy of my own home!"  I couldn't help but think that this is what's wrong with Americans.  Excuse my "french" but why the F#ck would I want to run inside while pretending to run outside?  If I'm ever fast enough to qualify for the Boston Marathon, I'm not going to be satisfied by "running the course" while on my treadmill.  And until that time, I shouldn't be okay with "running the course" on my treadmill.  The privacy of my own home does not equate to the world outside - you know, the one with people and culture and amazing sights? 

Granted, I realize that I spent the morning training session on a bike trainer inside, but that's because it was RAINING.  The world is out there.  You have to go find it.

And that led me to think more about what has been ailing me - and what I think might (other than the high pollen count) be causing my headaches this week.  I have a source of unhappiness that I got to get away from while on vacation, and now that I'm back so is the unhappiness.  The economy prevents me from doing much about it, but I'm going to keep trying.  Eventually something, the right something, will be there and when it is, I'll be ready.  But for now, I need to suck it up and hang in there while I try to find what I'm looking for in the world out there.

Last night, I literally dreamt about what I've been eating.  I'm going to try to go almost full paleo as part of my paleo zone.  Still eating in the proportions of the Zone, but I think I'm going to try to faze out dairy.  I have a strange love for cottage cheese and cheese in general, but since I've been eating more paleo it's almost like I can taste salt in my low fat cheese. And only salt.  Same with the deli meat - and we get the low sodium stuff.  Plus, I feel like there's some sort of chemical aftertaste after I eat the deli meat.  Not to mention canadian bacon. Ugh. So I'm imagining that this is going to be a little bit of a pain because I'll have to cook my meat for lunches from now on, but while I may hold on to fat free cottage cheese for a little bit longer I think I'm going to go without dairy and deli. We'll see how it goes.

I've also been contemplating what it is that has caused me to lose some of my "mojo" if you will for triathlon this year.  And I think that it's a couple of things... primarily that it is not new any more, and second my kids are old enough to want their Mommy around more, or at least to notice when I'm not there, and third I LOVE being with my kids and if the world were a perfect place in which I did not have to work I would be happy home with them full time.  And I've sort of noticed in my attempts to put my schedule together, I'm good at doing workouts that someone tells me to do (even if it's me), but I'm not altogether sure why the workouts are the way they are and how I need to change them to fit the fact that I can go the distance now.  Sprint, Oly, HIM.  I know I can do it.  The question is how fast can I do it.  I want to get faster.  The first year was about being able to do it.  The year should have been about doing it faster, but I'm realizing it part way through my year.  My workouts aren't completely aligned with my goals.  So I'm working on that (with the help of a RockStar and some other friends)... and I found some good articles (including one by Matt Fitzgerald) about cycling workouts.  And now that I understand a little more about the cycle of training for the year, I'm going to try to plan next year better (Recovery Period, Base Building, Peak Cycles - see the Tri Bible did sink in a bik) and to tie it also to the Tri Power book.  That book is awesome but I'm completely confused as to how to fit it in at this part of the year... so I'll start by planning out next year with it in place.  It's as though the clouds have lifted. 

I'm starting to look forward to the Moss Park Tri on the 17th.  Still wierded out about the swim, but since I switched to the sprint for this one I'm feeling a little better about it. 750m with a couple hundred people should be okay for scaring off random alligators.  And my race plan is just pound out everything I can on every leg.  I've always "saved some in reserve for the next leg."  This time, I want to kill it.  I realize that I may not be as fast as I would like even with killing it since the past few weeks have been rough in getting my training in, but I want to know that I gave it my all on every leg.  I aim to win Big Daddy Diesel's pukie award and to still finish with a smile on my face. DNF is not an option.  The only thing that has been bothering me mentally about the race is that this is the same course I crashed on last year.  So I've been working on mentally picturing that turn and me making it out of the turn in a lovely way and continuing on the ride like a bat out of hell.  And I'm working on not worrying about dying on the run after doing my absolute hardest on the other legs. It will all work out!

The girls did great at the dentist yesterday morning - which functioned as my workout yesterday.  Hefting Ladybug into the car and having to put her seatbelt on her while she tried to fight me off was all I managed to get in since their appointment was 1 1/2 hours long.  After pitching a fit about not going for 3/4 of the way there, Ladybug declared that "Going to the dentist isn't so bad, I kind of like it!"  And evidently said to one of her teachers about going to the dentist "what you have to realize is that they're giving you healthy teeth so you can be healthy!"  Her teacher swore that was the exact quote. The kid cracks me up!

Happy Independence Day Weekend to you all - whether racing, training, or cooking out.  I hope it's a great one!