A Whole New Meaning to Going the Distance

I came across my old blog today. I used to love blogging and I loved triathlon. I was going to complete a full Ironman when I turned 40... And this past Friday, I turned 41. Sadly, I have not completed an Ironman - unless I on count watching Ironman movies.

What happened? My life took its own turn and I had to follow the path. I left my law firm, got a Certificate in Nonprofit Management, and became the Senior Director of Development for a nonprofit and raised more than $1.8M in a year. I LOVED my job, my team, my nonprofit. Mr. Darcy changed jobs and despite the ridiculous number of hours he worked/works loves his job. The girls seemed happy. Life was good, no great!

Two years and 8 months ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with itchy hands and feet. I went into the bathroom and took a look. My hands and feet were about three times their normal size and hot pink. I presumed I must be having an allergic reaction, took some Benadryl and went back to bed. I woke up the next morning - still swollen, still pink and with a rash on my face. I shrugged it off and went to work because if you can endure through a triathlon, this is nothing.  Midway through the day I ended up in urgent care because people at work were flipping out. They prescribed me medication for an allergic reaction and told me to get tested for lupus. The meds did nothing so I went to my allergist who looked at my now slightly swollen feet and still somewhat pink feet, heard me tell him that as the swelling went down my joints started to hurt and were starting to hurt worse and worse. He says, "I don't know what that is, but I know it's not an allergy. You need an ANA panel run." So I get an appointment, get some bloodwork, and my ANA is high. I head to a rheumatologist, lots more bloodwork, high ANA but no lupus or anything else that has a rheumatology test for it. Meanwhile the pain and tightness spreads - not joints only but muscles too but unlike any pain I've had before. It sometimes feels like I have electricity running through my body along with the pain. Some days my skin hurts, lights are extra bright or my hearing is extra sensitive. Oh and the fatigue. Some days I wake up exhausted, others I wake up ok but in a few hours feel like I need a nap.  The doctor says for my joints its Hypermobility syndrome and gives me an anti-inflammatory which works wonders for the joint pain but doesn't touch anything else. Things get worse and worse, and stress seems to make it worse too. I try working part time but when you run a department, it doesn't really work for your employer, and to get what I have to do as part of my job, I can't work part time. The pain keeps worsening, and is never in the same exact pattern. I know I can't keep this up, but I finally have the job I love and I'm really good at it, I want to make a difference in the lives of these kids, but it's really bad and I'm starting to get forgetful from it all - pain at level 7 or more almost every day, exhaustion, falling asleep on the sofa around 6-7 every night.  The girls start asking why I don't want to hang out with them. The doctor finally tells me I have fibromyalgia. I'm not allowed to exercise unless it's walking, cycling, swimming or yoga, and only for 30-45 minutes. I start eating an anti-inflammatory diet (no sugar, no gluten, no grains other than rice, no corn, nothing processed). I lose 35 pounds. I'm walking 5 days a week for 30-45 minutes. I get 7-8 hours minimum each night. I still hurt like hell. I'm still exhausted.

And then it happens. I have to go to work because I have a big event coming but I wake up at pain level 9 and feel like I haven't slept at all. I go in anyway. I'm grumpy and crabby and in excruciating pain from head to toe. HR tries to kick me out of the office but I tell them I can't leave. The event is coming. I go in the bathroom at one point and cry (after checking no matter be else is in there) because I have to do something. It doesn't help the pain, but with some frustration out I can handle things better. I make it to 5:30 and can't think well. I drive home, pick up the kids from after care, get home and walk in the front door. Suddenly, I can't function- I hurt so bad head to toe, I don't feel like I can walk, I can't think clearly at all. My kids somehow get me to the sofa. I lay down and don't get back up. Daughter 1 cooks dinner. Daughter 2 snuggles me. The only other thing I remember is that Daughter 1 asks if chicken is the meat that's not allowed to be pink when you eat it. The next morning, my pain is a 7 and I don't remember how I got into bed or anything from the night before. I know I have to quit my job. I can't do this anymore.  I give notice though because I'm a serious professional and I'm secretly praying it will magically disappear. It doesn't.

I go to cancel a disability policy and my agent tells me I need to file a claim... I do. They deny it and insult me in the process. I end up getting a lawyer and appealing...I'm still waiting to hear. In the meantime, money gets a little tight and my mentor who helped me get my nonprofit job calls me and asks if I'll work 20 hours per week for the nonprofit leadership center. I explain about my situation and she lets me come in one day a week (some weeks not at all), and the rest from home with uber flexible hours and if I don't feel well I don't work. I try medicine... One of which causes such bad acid reflux I have to stop it and then take meds to fix my burn esophagus. Another of which we're trying to find the right dose of... The pain and exhaustion are still there but the electricity is decreased a lot.

These days going the distance is staying up until 10pm with only a short nap... But I still have a good attitude (except toward the insurance company), still love Mr Darcy and My kiddos (now 10 but still funny as ever), and I know God has a plan even with all of this. I'll try to write more often... No races will be planned. No triathlons to train for. But life will still be going on, and I'll be right there walking, napping and going the distance the best way I can.

Thursday Run Day

Today I ran. I have to admit that I haven't run for 2 weeks. One week of evident exhaustion (I figured out I was staying up too late.) and one week of a snotty, disgusting head cold. Tuesday I overslept because Mr. Darcy set the alarm clock. I decided that after almost 16 years of marriage, perhaps I should take control of my own waking time. So I am now the proud owner of an alarm clock that is on my side of the room but across from the bed because 1. Once I'm up, I am Up. And 2. The plugs by the night stand were full. Been doing yoga the entire time even if I hadn't been running.

This morning I had forgotten to set the alarm clock, but somehow still woke up at 5:45. Decided that I must go on a run, and literally told myself. You HAVE to run today. So, I did. Having not run in 2 weeks and having sore hamstrings for some inexplicable reason (unless I've been sleep running), and it being cold out, I decided a 2 miler would be a good plan.

It was brisk out, but absolutely beautiful. Clear sky and every star in the in universe twinkling away. Awesome. My lungs were feeling the cold air, but not too bad. Stuck to the 2/1s, and I could have easily gone farther. My pace was 10:27 per mile, which I was happy with.

Today is my last "non busy" day before I start work! Yes, work! As of Monday, I will be the new Executive Director of a small nonprofit that mentors and tutors foster care children to improve educational performance and encourage obtaining a higher education degree, as well as providing the kids with life skills to lead successful lives as they age out of the foster care system. I am very excited and looking forward to this opportunity.

So... I am being lazy. After taking the little Ladies to School (who, btw asked why I run and do yoga today. I told them that I don't get PE and recess as an adult so to stay healthy and get my body moving I exercise. They told me I must be smart. I am just waiting for them to ask me why Mr. Darcy does not exercise....), I've emailed, played on FaceBook, looked at cars online (any suggestions for a family friendly sedan with good gas mileage are welcome... We're toying with the idea of trading in the mini van), looked at Pinterest. Yup, plain nothing. Next I will put in some laundry and watch a movie. I guess the laundry counts as work, but I don't want to have to do it this weekend.

Back to running news, I am contemplating signing up for the Disney Wine & Dine 1/2 Mary. It's November 9 and my training for the Goofy indicates that I will be doing a 8.5 mile walk that Friday (I don't even want to figure out how early I need to wake up to do that before work that day) and then a 20 miler that Saturday. So I'm thinking why not do the walk that Friday, get up Saturday and do an "easy" 7 mile run and then follow it that night with the Wine & Dine. In some ways that sounds crazy to me (like not being able to stay awake past 10 pm on a normal night, let alone run late at night), and in other ways it makes sense.

I also am now in search of a 10k. Never found the 5k that would work with the weekend I needed, so I figure I'll train for a 10k instead. That is next in the plan for training for Goofy.

What do you suggest?

Shorter Ramblings..

1. I try to stay apolitical in my postings, but today I found 2 things in the paper particularly shocking that I feel the need There are only 2 African American members in the US Senate and this is a "record." This blows my mind that a representative democracy still does not fully reflect its people, although it is better than 0. And second, Dempsey wants to fund arming the Syrian rebels. Everyone seems to forget that we make bad mistakes in funding rebels - anyone remember that during the Cold War the US funded a band of rebels called the Taliban who were fighting the Russians in Afghanistan?

Ok. I am off my soap box.

2. There are not enough hours in the day to do everything I want. Of course, I want to do a lot of things. Perhaps that's the issue.

3. I am looking forward to next week's Junior Leagues of Florida's State Public Affairs Committee Convention in Tallahassee. I'll be introducing a speaker, talking to legislators about healthy food access, human trafficking and literacy. Especially about healthy food access. And I'll be updating the group on our work and AJLI's work in healthy food access.

4. Then I return in time for Ladybug's crown 1 & 2. She told me at dinner last night that she is looking forward to being able to eat on both sides of her mouth like everyone else.

5. This morning's yoga kicked my booty. Tight hamstrings make life interesting. I am hopeful that one day I will be able to do down dog so that when my legs are straight my heels actually touch the floor.

6. Having a girls' weekend with Angelfish and Ladybug. Should be fun!

7. Any suggestions for a 5k on 3/30 or 2/23? Needs to be in driving distance from Orlando.

My crazy life...

So the girls got back to school from their flu. Life seemed to be settling down, but I was playing catch up at the same time. And lo and behold, life thought I needed some excitement. This excitement is not for the faint of heart either. But I was/am sticking to the workouts although this week is a little wonky.

I took Ladybug to get sealants out on her molars - they didn't develop fully, shaped ok but enamel is wacky and she has a good bit of pain with two of them. To the point that she eats only on one side of her mouth, although she never told us this until very recently. But she tells the dentist at least at her check ups. Two sealants completed easily. Two not completed due to excruciating pain that I have never seen in person (outside of the movies) in my life. Worse even than when Mr. Darcy ended up in the hospital with (to this day) completely unexplained abdominal pain - he got to enjoy dye studies, and scopes. I do not want to relive it, but lets just say that the dentist felt like she was torturing Ladybug and deemed crowns to be necessary because that amount of pain could not be tempered by sealant (that we would have to numb her to get done). Traumatic, probably more so for me than Ladybug at this point.

Next day, I take the kids to choir and then go to drinks with friends. I call Mr. Darcy to let him know I'm on the way home and can tell things are not good. turns out Angelfish decided to run between aisles at Lowes - you know, under the shelving - and close lined herself on wire that scratched the heck out of her neck to the point Mr. Darcy thought she had internal bleeding and took her to an urgent care, which made them wait for hours to tell him that they thought she was ok but "didn't really have the right equipment to be sure." He took her home, they were eating dinner when I got there. It was bad but she said it was not hurting and she could swallow etc. She goes to the bathroom and comes back to the table with a look that tells you she's deliberating something. mr. Darcy asks her what's wrong and she tells us she just went poop and that there are WORMS in her poop and she's not feeling good about this. She talks more about what they looked like and I realize she has pin worms (no, we're not dirty. Kids just get them, like lice. And it's not amazing to me since she puts random stuff in her mouth) I tell her we'll make an appointment for the doctor in the morning and all will be ok.

And then Ladybug pipes up..."Mommy? I have to tell you something. What Angelfish has? I have it too. I've had them for a FEW WEEKS." I did not handle it as I should have. I yelled at her for not telling me because how can I help her if she doesn't tell me. I apologized later for my reaction and told her that I wanted her to be able to tell me anything but if she was afraid of me getting mad to at least tell Mr. Darcy. So mystery solved on Angelfish getting it because Ladybug had been helping wiggle her loose tooth. ladybug got it from licking her hands when they were dirty. she has since stopped this behavior, but it was this thing she was doing. Not sure why but it seems to have stopped now.

But I confirmed they had worms based on their description and Angelfish could not handle the fact that she had worms living in her behind. Ballistic mental reactions and an insistence she had to go to the bathroom every two minutes and carrying on about worms. So I started lying to her saying that she pooped them all out and they were gone. She wasn't buying it, but we got the, into bed. And 20 minutes or so later she's up screaming that her neck hurts. Mr. Darcy ran her down to the brand spanking new children's hospital relatively near our house and their ER. They were in and out. Neck was fine, Tylenol for skin hurting. Oh and Angelfish starts ranting about the worms. So they dosed her with meds.

When we called the pediatrician's office the next day, we found out we all had to take meds - just in case. Mr. Darcy and I and the kids were all examining our stool for the next day or so.

Then Angelfish lost her tooth. The tooth fairy visited. We had a nice weekend (even went to a nature preserve and the beach), and knock on wood life returned to normal. I kept up my training schedule through it all.

And then this week, I have been completely unmotivated. I did my yoga Monday. Tuesday I could not bring myself to run. So I walked the kids to school and ran home. 2 very uninspired miles. Yesterday, Yoga for athletes. Good stuff. Today, I forced myself to run. And once I was moving, it was ok. I told myself I was doing good just by moving and didn't worry about how long it took or how far I went. Ended up doing 2.5 miles average mile pace? 11:36! Did a total of 3.2 miles including 5 minute warm up and 10 minute cool down. Then I walked the kids to school 2 more miles, which I am counting as my Saturday "run" because Mr. Darcy is out of town until Monday and that's how I have to roll with things. Unless I am possessed to skip yoga and run again tomorrow.

My walk to school with the girls was the best mile I have ever done in my life. Those girls are amazing. We did our usual racing (they pick a distance and we run...as you might guess, I sometimes cannot bring myself to let them win every race) and then thy decided we needed to play a game. They made it up... The rules: no stepping on cracks because they're lasers; no stepping on gum spots or bird poop because that's toxic bird poop; avoid water from sprinklers because its acid; but if we're in the sun then we have rainbow power and can do any of the above without getting hurt. Oh, and while not required, it is encouraged to ballet leap over the cracks. It was so much fun! I will treasure it always.

On the way back, I decided I need to sign up for a 5k. It dawned on me that I'm not overly motivated to run because I have nothing pressing me. The Goofy challenge is not until January 2014. So if I focus on 5k training and have a 5k race on tap, perhaps I'll have better motivation. So stay tuned.

Lessons/observations on the Run

Sorry it's been a bit since I last wrote... The girls had the flu for a week, despite having a flu shot. I now swear by two things as I did not get the flu after them (I had the flu shot the same time they did): mixing 1/4 tsp of cinnamon with 1 tsp of honey and eating it once or twice a day, airborne, and sleep. They're back to school, I readjusted and have been doing a few different things. Thursday, I start the Certificate of Nonprofit Management program at Rollins College's The Crummer Graduate School of Business. My first class is "Strategic Planning for Nonprofits" which should be good. I always loved school, so I plan to enjoy learning, hope to meet some people in the nonprofit world that can further help in my search, and learn things from a slightly different perspective. I came close, yet again, to another position but was down to two and the other person got the job because they had more direct work experience but they really, really liked me according to the HR person. My only question is how do I get that direct work experience until someone gives me the chance... But I know that it will all work out, it is just a matter of time.
I have been doing things for the Junior League Community Council that I head, a little bit for our headquarters move, and other stuff for the National Communications Team I lead for my sorority. Plus Time with my little ladies...

My runs and yoga have been good. Averaging just under a 12 minute mile. And when I say just under, I mean just under. This morning's average was 11:45 per mile. Sunday's was 11:55. I was really surprised at that one since I ran at 1:00 pm, which was super hot. I was drenched and dripping with sweat by the time I was done. But I am super excited about my progress thus far. Amusingly, I discovered a folder that had my certificates and awards from high school which contained my "Varsity" cross country certificate. I only got that because I was a graduating senior... I ran JV the whole year. It said my best time for a 2 mile race was 20:21, or essentially a 10:10 mile. I may be no speed racer, but I get 'er done.

There are a few things I realized while running and at moments in between:
1. My kids are funny and have a great sense of humor. Poor Mr. Darcy bears the brunt of their jokes, but Mr.Stinkypants (aka Mr. Darcy) doesn't seem to mind.
2. I like to run. I do NOT like getting out of bed to do it. It seems like I have to convince myself to get out of the bed, especially on a weekend morning.
3. My hamstrings pretend to be really old rubber bands. You know, the ones you use in a pinch and just hope it won't break on you. I keep stretching them. They'll get used to this again.
4. Yoga has to be my cross trainer right now. I walked instead of yoga on a non-run day and my lower back wasn't thrilled. Stretching works.
5. I bought Yoga Conditioning for Athletes and can't wait to do it tomorrow morning. I'm watching it as I right this, and am glad that I primarily do not look but listen to the video as I do yoga... There is a guy with a Mohawk, one ear pierced and a nipple ring. I am all for individuality and adorning your body the way you choose, but when they show him transition into certain poses I keep worrying he will catch the nipple ring...
6. Quinoa is one of our new favorite foods... Even Mr. Darcy likes it. He raved about quinoa burgers during meatless Monday dinner. And he didn't go for cheese itz later either!
7. I run without noticing time nearly as much when I run with someone. I ran with a friend last Thursday and I kept missing the 3 minute mark - we did a couple 4:1s and a 5:1 on accident.
8. This made me realize that I can do 4:1s, so starting with this morning's workout I am doing 4:1s.
9. I find myself on my runs thinking about running strategy for the Goofy Challenge, despite it being a year away. Yet when I looked at a date on my calendar in August and see a 9 mile run, I get nervous. Of course, my major running strategy is just to finish both races.
10. My bike has been calling me, but I think this year I need to be a runner.
11. It feels weird only doing one sport, although I am doing yoga too I don't necessarily see it as a sport. But it's good strength & flexibility training.
12. I'm going to need to find some 5ks and 10ks along the way, maybe a 1/2 Mary too. I need to remember what it is like to run in a race and not my neighborhood. There's a different mentally when you know where the mile marks are and when you don't.
13. Running at 5:30 am is so much better than running in the afternoons. Much to hot. Plus I am mentally more tired in the afternoon. So my talks to get myself out of bed will continue.
14. I discovered the show Downton Abbey, and a now addicted to it. I am not a tv watcher at all, so this is quite something.
15. I wish I had never stopped exercising. I absolutely feel great after every workout.

2 1/3 weeks of couch to Goofy done. 50 2/3 to go!

Thursday Thoughts

I realized last night when out for my walk that I have a need for some sport competition, and I am even happier I've decided to do my personal couch to Goofy Challenge. You know you have it bad when you see someone running slowly about .2 miles ahead and you think to yourself, "at the pace I am walking, I think I can catch him." And you can't help but inwardly grin when you do.

Why I missed my morning window to do yoga is a long story involving two children who, while still having temperatures, are acting pretty healthy. Let's just say it's difficult to fully immerse yourself in yoga practice when you have comments like, "you know Mommy, the guy on tv is a lot more flexible than you are," "how much longer will this last? Scooby Doo is way more interesting," "it looks like you're eating your shirt when your in that dog thing," "would it help if i sit on your back while you do that" and my personal favorite, "what do inhale and exhale mean and why do they keep saying to do it?"

It also dawned on me that in figuring out my run pace yesterday, I included the cool down where I was walking a bit slow. So today, I did 1.9 miles during warm up & run/walk in 23 minutes which was a12:06 mi pace. With cool down, I did a total of 2.3 miles. I feel a bit better about that pace, but look forward to getting to my goal of a 10 minute mile pace. I was a bit stiff today - you may remember my chronically stiff hamstrings. At the end of the workout, I almost could audibly hear my hamstrings creaking. So I did 25 minutes of easier yoga to loosen things up. Ladybug woke up and watched me & the yoga video. Evidently Rodney Yee is not cute because he has a pony tail & it is strange that they do yoga outside. Then I stretched out my lower back and got ready for an interview.

The interview went well, but the outcome remains to be seen. A few times already I have been narrowed down to the top candidates and then it goes to someone with work experience in the nonprofit sector despite my "impressive volunteer and leadership experience." I know the right door will open at the right time. But at least in this interview the person was honest and told me that they thought I would be amazingly good in the position and she really like me, after telling me that they had other applicants who already had work experience in similar positions. Yet I feel positive that something good (and hopefully it's what I interviewed for today) will come my way.

In the meantime, I am still having fun with the ladies. Today they created a treasure hunt for me so that I would have to follow the notes they left for me around the house to find the treasure (pencils, crayons and ladybug erasers). I have missed the playground after school but when the fevers prevent attendance, the playground is out as well. (Angelfish's fever is finally gone as of today, but Ladybug's is lingering still.). We are also reading Harry Potter, well I read it out loud and they read along or listen. (Angelfish once informed me I was slow because she could read in her head faster than I could out loud.). We are already on the 4th book, which we are reading with the understanding that if anything is too scary that we will stop. Angelfish has declared that she does not like to read unless it is a science book or nonfiction, and that she only loves math and art. Ladybug on the other hand loves reading and is only ok with math. They both like science ... So I bought them a book of science experiments for kids, which they want to start doing - 1 a Saturday is their plan. But we need to build our soda can robot first.

My advocacy work is moving along slowly, although now I am not working on a bill but behind the scenes to work with government agencies to see what we can accomplish without the legislative process. We've been able to get an agreement on what a food desert is, which is a good start for figuring out where the gaps are.

That's life in the slowed down lane. I'm having a hard time getting the blog to post my replies to comments so 1) thank you for the encouragement and 2) I do not have a Tri on the calendar as of yet, but my neighbor mentioned a Tri in April that he's thinking about doing. So who knows?

What races do you have planned for the year?

Let the Goofy Training Begin!

I've planned out my year between now and Goofy. I've even gotten a couple of people who say they'll do it with me. Of course, when I started training for the Augusta 70.3 I started with a much larger group and ended with 2 or 3 people. But I have every day on my calendar. I'm using Galloway training. I have one year, so I am starting part way in on 5k training, then 10k training which will take me to the 6 month point, and then I start The Galloway goofy challenge training regimen. On The non-run days I am going to do yoga and/or walk... Although I uncovered my bike trainer in the garage the other day... That just might work it's way in there too. I have been thinking about cycling lately, although I have a little fear about being clipped in after more than 2 years since my last ride...

Since the ladies were home with their colds, I did about 40 minutes of yoga. Then I cleaned the house hoping to kill as many germs as possible and hung out with the girls who vegetated completely in front of the tv. Brains were probably dribbling out if their ears. But at least I got them to read some and to do their math homework.

I've decided we are having meatless Mondays at our house, to Mr. Darcy's chagrin. He claims he's not full if he doesn't eat meat. I think it's because he doesn't like adding a salad to whatever it is. Either way it's good for all of us so we'll adjust. I made a southwest quinoa salad (quinoa, black beans, red pepper, cilantro and a dressing of olive oil with lime, cumin and spike). The first time I've cooked quinoa and only the 2nd time eating it. I have to say that I LOVE the stuff, and luckily the Little Ladies did too. Angelfish avoided the red peppers because heaven forbid she eat a vegetable, but Ladybug asked for more and suggested we have it again next week. Did I mention that Ladybug's favorite shows are cupcake wars and chopped?

Both of the girls slept through the night, which meant so did I. : ). Right as I was tying my last lace, I hear Ladybug...101 temp. Mr. Darcy got up and sat with her so I could still run. Yay!

I have to be honest. I have barely run in 2 years or so. I have been walking at a good pace, but not running. I decided that I would do 3:1s this week and if it was easy I'd move to 4:1s. I'd like to get to either 5:1s or 7:1s. I used to do 5:1s to keep my back happy but I am wondering if being lighter that I could get to 7:1s. I'll see how things go.

So off I set doing my 5 min warm up walk and then started running. 3:1s for 18 minutes and the last one was a 4 minute run. 2.2 miles, about a 14 minute mile pace. Sad that I can power walk it faster than run, but I also know that it is the start and that I did run slowly because I wasn't sure if I could do 3:1s. But I plan to get to a 10 minute mile pace. We will see... I think the last time I did a 10 minute mile consistently was in high school. I've never been speedy, but I can get it done. But then I never thought I could do the goofy either. Anything is possible and I have a year to prove it.

But in the meantime I am off to tend to my sick Ladybug who is literally moaning because she feels bad right now.... Temp up to 2 pm.... I think I'll take my 2nd airborne of the day while I am at it...

No Color Run

Yesterday afternoon Angelfish took... A nap. I should have known that something was wrong. Two hours later, she emerged and the first words out if her mouth were, "Mommy, my eyes hurt." The only time my eyes have ever hurt are when I've had a high fever. Sure enough: 102.6 burning up. She also complained of her stomach hurting really bad and her throat was sore. Last year Angelfish had strep twice, and she has two grandfather's prone to getting strep, one of who had scarlet fever from it. Yet, I was hopeful. I told myself that maybe she'd be ok by morning.

So I set my alarm for 6:30 am and said I would check on her and if ok, I'd head to the color run, do the race then come straight home. At 4:30 am a little voice said out loud what my mind had told me would happen, "Mommy, I feel horrible." 103 temp,a raspy voice, a thick cough, sore throat, fast heart beat & fast breathing. So I gave her more Advil and looked up the time that the minute clinic and urgent cares would open. Wet wash cloth & snuggles.

No race, but definitely was where I needed to be. Turns out its a virus of some sort. And about 1/2 an hour after we got back from the minute clinic, Ladybug looked at me and said, "Mommy, my eyes hurt..." Her fever is not quite as high as Amanda's and she doesn't have the cough... Yet.

So I am upping my vitamin c, trying a cinnamon & honey home remedy and hoping that I'll stay well. My couch to Goofy training starts tomorrow...

Morning Revelations

1. My jeans are tight since the holidays, but I am making much better food choices and getting better at preventing stress/emotional eating and decided to delay gratification for bad stuff I might want to eat and finding that one I put it out of my mind that I don't miss not eating eat!
2. This one isn't too new. But based on the weight training I did on Wednesday, which by Thursday afternoon made it so it was hard to stand up, my abs are still relatively ok and so are my arms but my thighs need some reconditioning.
3. I am not ready for a real race... I woke up worrying about how bad my time might be at the Color Run tomorrow. Then I remembered that they don't even time the run, and it's all for fun. At every 1k they douse you with a cornstarch based paint powder... I'll be sure to wear a hat and sunglasses for protection. And enjoy the after color party with the kids and Mr. Darcy who are all going to wear white shirts to get colored up!
4. It is really important to me to have Mr. Darcy and the little ladies at my races. They are being brave and going tomorrow to the race. The girls have informed me that I am amazing for going to run a 5k. : )
5. Pancakes made with oats, cottage cheese, egg whites, cinnamon are really good! Ladybug (our resident self described foodie) finished her pancakes and announced, "Life is really too good!" Enron Mr. Darcy liked them...
6. I feel better when I don't eat things with gluten in it. Attempting to go gluten free... We'll see how it goes. They stick that stuff in everything.
7. Laying in bed, I realized that I no longer believe in "not being able to do" anything. If I want to, I will do it. I think that is what all those triathlons were about - proving to myself I could do anything and that somehow I could survive anything.
8. #7 made me think... I've Been skydiving, parasailing, done a 1/2 Mary, a 1/2ironman. But the thing that always made me say that person is crazy? The Goofy Challenge: a 1/2 Marathon on Saturday followed by a marathon on Sunday. A number of people I know have done the Goofy and some are doing the Disney 1/2 or the marathon this weekend.
9. I decided... I am doing it. Come this time January 2014, I will be doing the Goofy Challenge. It is a done deal. I even looked up training schedules already. And at the route map for this year, and at some spectator info for the family.
10. Don't think #9 scares the poo out of me. It does, and I know it. The whole "what if i train and fail?" But that' the best reason to conquer it. Plus as I said to the FB pals racing this weekend... They've already won just by showing up. Unfortunately, I know my brain, which does not work in partial victories. But that is something I too am working on.

Anyone want to join me for Goofy Challenge 2014? I have my workouts figured out for the entire year leading up to the Goofy Challenge (provided it is correct that the dates will be Jan 11-12, 2014), thanks to the Jeff Galloway website which has everything from 5k to Goofy challenge training schedules. I am doing the 5k training (with a couple weeks removed to make it work) then the 10k training and then the goofy challenge training and it leads exactly to the 2014 goofy challenge. Starts this week!

Back to School, Irony of a 4 Mile walk & a 5K

Ladybug and Angelfish are back to school and I am back to healthy eating and workouts. I cannot say i hit every day of December of working out. I did walk Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas, another day in there too, And New Year's eve. then it was january. I took the girls to the beach one day last week and we not only walked more than a mile but also did some speed training (aka "I'll race you!"), and did an hour of yoga Thursday, and I am pretty sure that our day at the science museum was about a mile of walking, although I am not sure that counts. (Ladybug was mad that I wouldn't stop as soon as she got up so I explained to her the importance of exercise while finishing and then sent her off to draw a picture.
With New Year's just passing I am sure there are a lot of resolutions floating around. I personally hate resolutions. You make a list of things that you are going to stop or start and put all this pressure on yourself and go back to your old ways by March if not before.
So this year, I sat down with myself and was honest. I am seeking something in my life. I know I want to help others in a meaningful, life impacting way and I know I am passionate about some things that I think all people are by nature of their humanity have a right to: food, shelter, and health. I've decided to keep looking for the opportunity to work in this arena, preferably in a paid position, but I will continue volunteering and my Boards while that may arise. I am contemplating getting a Certificate in Nonprofit Management from Rollins as well to help make it clear that I understand how my transferable skills from practicing law work work favorably in the nonprofit sector. I have accepted too the fact that food, while always there, is not a friend to rely on other than to make my waistline expand (as it unfortunately has from stress eating followed by holiday eating - entitlement to cookies, candies & cake because I want it, I realize is some inner child of mine who needs to be tamed... I have to say after denying myself of sweets and bread for so long and so strictly, it was a ticking time bomb of overeating ready to explode. I am now tweaking...). So I am working on a new attitude towards food. I am seeking God more closely too. I won't talk much about that on the blog as I find that to be more personal and not something I necessarily want to put here, but what I will say is that my choice to leave the law and go to the nonprofit sector and things I want differently in my life feel in my heart to be something that God has been calling me to for years, and somehow over the past year I finally started really listening & not trying to talk myself out of doing. So I am traveling that road.
Do I see these as New Year's Resolutions? No. I see them as an extension of last year and the journey of my life as a work in progress, striving to go the distance to be the person I am meant to be...even if I am not sure exactly what that means.
Which leads me to my 4 mile walk this morning. Despite the house needing a nice cleaning, groceries to do, laundry, job searching, and oversleeping (shocking to think that going to be at midnight makes it difficult to get up a 5:30, right?), not to mention the car needing fixing a/c went out as my Xmas present from the car plus it needs regular maintenance & an oil change), I decided to put myself first and get my much needed 4 mile Monday walk in. So I dropped the ladies off at school, came home, grabbed the cellphone and hit the road. It is cold here by Florida standards - 56! In my running shorts and t-shirt, the 1st 3/4 mile was rather chilly and I told myself if I was still cold by the 1.5 mile turn I'd call it a day. Well, for walking I was booking it today! I was nice and warm & sweating by 1.5 miles and declared I was headed for the full 4. And the little competitor in my head made a reappearance as I turned the corner to start mile 3... There was a guy in a sweatsuit walking a good bit of the way up the road. Probably around 1/2 mile up.I decided to pass him. My legs were a movin', I was sweating and all I could do is pay attention to how I was gaining on him. Yup, I passed him at about the 3/4 mile point. And when I got home (the loops I do end in my driveway), I had walked 4 miles in right under 52 minutes... Which is about a 13 minute mile pace. The irony? That is slightly faster than what was once my RUNNING pace. And I was tempted to keep going another mile, until I saw the dog through the window (whose hip popped out of socket when Ladybug accidentally dropped her on the 30th, almost one year to the day of her being hit by a car and having the same injury) was so excited I was home that she was bouncing up & down. Tomorrow will either be a 1 mile walk and 1 hour of yoga or 2 miles and weight training.
Oh and my 5K. I haven't mentioned it because I am not really looking at it as a race because 1) I am not sure how much of it I will actually run; 2) I haven't "trained" for it like I used to train for a race; and 3) saying it out loud (or in blog land) holds me accountable, and only now (under 1 week away from race day) was I ready for that.
So January 13th, I will be doing the Color Run here in Orlando. First race of any sort since my last triathlon, and I haven't decided whether I will run, walk or do a mix of the two. I am definitely in a different fitness level since the last one, despite knowing that the best thing for you is to never get out of shape in the first place. Yet with the schedule I used to keep, I probably would have imploded if I squeezed in exercise too ....I should have kept it as a priority, but life shifts and we learn, right?
I don't know that I'll do a race report, but who knows! The thing I do know is I am trying to be gentle with myself about the whole experience because I tend to have high expectations sometimes even in spite of reality.
Hope your year is starting off right!

ACK, Ag, and other things....

The ACK
This weekend did not go as planned on the exercise front. I think I mentioned I had been working on the girls playroom. I needed to buy some wood in Friday for the seat cushion and the new window treatment I was making. Luckily, I got my 4 mile walk in that morning because the brilliant guy who cut the wood for me put a large and heavy piece of wood standing up on the cart. I pushed it a bit through the store and then thought to myself that I didn't think it was very safe and as I went to stand next to the wood to reposition it, it did exactly what I feared.... Slipped off and smashed my toe. I was impressed with myself for not cursing (out loud) as Ladybug and Angelfish were right there. By the end of Friday evening, it was swollen and it was difficult to bend. Saturday it was black and blue but only in one line, the swelling had gone down a little but it still hurt to high heaven. So I skipped my Saturday walk, especially since I had to get that foot into heels that evening for my friend Christi's wedding.
By Saturday evening, it was better although still a bit bruised. The wedding was wonderful - I even cried a little. The best part of every wedding for me is the look of the groom's face when he sees how absolutely beautiful his soon to be wife looks. I was not disappointed! But by the end of the wedding, I needed to get out of those shoes. Luckily, it was a sit down dinner so I took my shoes off under the table. And a little wine helped the throbbing in my toe.
Sunday I went to church early and let the family sleep in... But they were up and rearing to go by the time I got home, and we ended up taking the kids to do their Christmas shopping for each other. My toe felt perfectly fine, but I decided I should make sure my toe was good for Monday.

Ag
Monday, I got up early and took my toe for a spin. 2 miles later and it was fine and it has been good ever since. After taking the girls to school, I headed to a stakeholder meeting with the Department of Agriculture, the Department of Health, Department of Family Services, and multiple nonprofits and community funders to discuss healthy food access - where the need is, what existing programs can be expanded to help with the need, and potential for what else should be done. It was great and just what I had hoped for really. We didn't get a ton done but what everyone agreed upon as parameters and definitions is a wonderful start to actually doing something (even if it takes awhile) about healthy food access. I was a bit shocked when one of the players said to me that when we were introduced he did not realize that I was "THE 'TriMommy'" who was responsible for getting the state agencies to actually come to the table on the issue, and then proceeded to thank me for what I have been doing and continue to do. It was a little odd because I don't even think of it that way. I think of it in terms of justice, I guess. It makes no sense to me that Florida is the state that feeds the country for most of every year yet we have 1 in 5 children (and in some parts of the state 1 in 4) who do not know when they will eat again and when they do eat it's junk because that's what is available to them outside of free/reduced lunch programs. I don't know how not to push to fix that. It's not something I feel like I can just walk away from as though it is not my problem. His comments felt good, yet weird because I didn't feel right about taking praise for something that it should be obvious for us as people to do.

Other Things
Tuesday was catch up from the all day meeting around the house, a bit of shopping as Mr. Darcy's Mom has reinjured a nerve in her leg somehow and is in excruciating pain. So I did their shopping for Ladybug and Angelfish's Christmas presents, and a few little errands for the house. Then to my Junior League Council meeting where we talked about the various committees and their progress, needs, etc. it is wonderful to work with a group of ladies who believe in the community programs we are running, and who do their best. It makes my VP of Community position much easier. : ). Plus I really enjoy all of them, so we always have a nice social part after the meeting too. Oh, and I got my walk in - 2 miles - taking the kids to school.

Yesterday, Mr. Darcy through a wrench in my plans. He set the alarm (when I was already asleep) for 6:30 am instead of 5:30 am, and I must have been tired because I didn't hear it going off until about 7 am. So I fully intended to find a way to get at least 2 miles in if not more. But I had a big to do list... Christmas is officially completed other than grocery shopping and cooking. Wrapped and all. Toilets, tubs, counters are sparkling. I had a wonderful lunch with a friend, and misread my watch causing me to arrive at the girls school about 7 minutes after school ended but thanks to the long pick up line (and my prayers to let me get there for the girls with no problems) disaster was averted, and we had fun at the park afterwards. Then we did some homework and made magical bath sea salts and peppermint sugar scrubs for family presents. The girls then entered into World War III over nothing, and argued the entire rest of the evening. Santa registered his dismay by calling me about it so I could relay the message to cool it to the girls, which has worked pretty well for now. The walk however never happened.

This morning I had an entire conversation in my head, which evidently took 9 minutes as that is the time between alarm and snooze sounding, about whether to stay in bed because it might be "cold" outside and to do yoga or to get up and walk. Well, the walk won. 5:30 am I was out the door and hustled a nice 4 mile walk - the winning argument being that if it was super cold, I'd just go as far as I could take it but since I missed the day before and had toe issues this weekend I really couldn't justify staying in bed AND I knew full well that I wouldn't have time to do yoga if I slept in.

The walk was awesome, actually. I saw a family of 5 "reindeer" traipsing through the neighborhood, as well as the rabbit I keep seeing (who I refer to as the Easter Bunny to the girls and who usually has another rabbit with him, but not today), a neighbor I met when waiting the 2 1/2 hours to vote I the presidential election, a wild boar (who luckily stayed in the underbrush while grunting angrily), a bird who must have been confused because it was singing next to a street light while it was still pitch black out, and then ended with the 5 deer all together instead of spread out throughout the neighborhood. Pretty cool walk and fun to talk about with the ladies who decided that the bird was signaling the reindeer that I was coming so their return to Santa's sleigh to fly back to the North Pole would not cause any magical incidents with me seeing "too much" and that the Easter bunny was simply helping Santa out with the last minute check ins. I love having such imaginative kiddos!

Once I got them off to school, I headed to Sanford for the Seminole County Legislative Delegation Meeting so we could voice our need for support for the initiatives as they arise for healthy food access and to keep them abreast of the fact that we are working with state agencies on the issue, which was much more positively received this year than it was last year. Progress, even if small, is progress! I got out of that earlier than I expected so I ran to get some random sale items - candles and gift bags (70% off sale). Then lunch with Mr. Darcy and on to the girls' winter holiday party at school, where they built snow scenes out of marshmellows and such and then were allowed to devour them. To say the least I let them play at the park for an hour afterward. They needed to burn off some calories!

Tomorrow I have a big list of chores and errands, and I plan to get either a 3 or 4 mile walk in as well. Goal is to be able to enjoy the weekend leading up to the holidays, prepare for reading at church on Christmas, and be rested to cook the Polish Wiglia dinner after evening service on Christmas Eve and prepare for Santa's deliveries and the arrival of my parents. I can't wait! I plan to get in my necessary walks too...

What are your holiday plans?

The best laid plans

Today's had planned a lot of things... A 3 mile fast walk in particular, reading a book and some research I did on CDFI's, a load of laundry, general cleaning, errands, painting. Somehow, I never heard the alarm clock that Mr. Darcy had set 1 hour later than it was supposed to be set for. It is funny how a delay in your start can make you feel off balance. I got in a 1.5 mile fast walk instead since Mr. Darcy had to get to work.
Then I got the ladies ready for school and a breakfast in them, myself showered and then out the door. Upon returning, I was able to dry my hair, out on some makeup and eat some breakfast. Then I ran my errand to get the painting supplies we did not have and then I came home, prepped and taped the wall in the girls' playroom and painted. I painted an accent wall a nice blue color called "high noon." It was the first time I ever painted an entire wall by myself. It was a comedy of errors at first, although I wasn't laughing. I had the rolling brush on a paint roller that turned out to be too small because the rolling brush kept rolling partway off the roller, and to get it back on I had to use my hands which were then completely covered (palm side) with paint. I finally decided that there had to be some roller that worked. sure enough there was... It is amazing how much faster the painting went after that. I finished the wall just in time to get the kids from school. Poof. The day went just like that!
After school pick up it started to drizzle so we couldn't go to the playground (which has been our tradition and really helps the girls get out some energy before going home). Instead we went to IKEA in search of something for the girls' stuffed animals to live in. They vetoed a few ideas because the stuffed animals wouldn't be able to breathe or it wasn't pretty enough or they wouldn't feel loved in that box. I finally told them that we needed to agree on something because the animals were either going to need to be housed or give away because they were just everywhere all of the time. Suddenly they were finding a suitable home for their animals and excited about organizing them - a red bin and a blue bin are now the happy homes of the (stuffed) menagerie. We also purchased a second double bookcase exactly like one we have already because we needed balance in the room. (When I am done I will post some pictures... But not until then.). The thing still needs to be assembled and the box alone weighed 81 pounds. Luckily I have been lifting two kids who collectively weigh 88 pounds. We had a little math problem with that one and the girls correctly subtracted to find that they together weigh 7 pounds more than the box, which according to Ladybug is why "Mama is super strong!" I have to say I was amused by 3 men who were shopping together, slightly older than I am and evidently not a chivalrous bone in their bodies as they stared at me while I told the girls to stop moving the cart and step away from it all while balancing and holding this giant box. Or maybe, I just make it look that easy. : ) either way, as I tell the girls in my best Roz voice (from "Monsters, Inc."), Santa is watching always watching.
Then we battled the rush hour traffic, cooked dinner, and Ladybug and Angelfish did homework and to,d me all about how their teacher loves snow flakes and this was why their holiday party next week is a Winter wonderland theme.
I also folded a load of laundry... But somehow I need more hours in my day to get all my plans done.
Tomorrow I have a conference call and volunteering at a holiday party with some under served elementary school kids. In between that, I plan to get some exercise, straighten and clean, put together the new bookcase, get fabric for the curtains and corkboards. Sure, I can do it all!

Catching up...

On so many things really... Just because I haven't blogged doesn't mean I stopped doing my return to fitness challenge. After my hike with the groceries, Wednesday I did a 2 mile walk, Thursday a 3 mile walk (in exactly 45 minutes on the dot), Friday I ran the mile (w 3 walking points) which sadly showed how out if shape sitting behind a desk for 2 years with little exercise can make you, Saturday I slept through my walk after breakfast with Santa and while watching a movie with the kiddies (at least I am honest) and then had a friend's party to go to, Sunday (yesterday) I planned to run my mile but my leg muscles were so incredibly tight even after stretching that I did a fast walk (14 minutes), and today I alternated running and walking 1 mile due to joint pain in my ankles. I plan to do a 3 mile walk tomorrow. I am enjoying getting moving again even if it is only in small increments.
I also decided to do a fruit/veggie juice cleanse this week. I know it may sound odd, but someone about that idea is really calling me as a way to cleanse out all the stress of the past few months and to let me start anew. I am doing the juicer method so I know what is in my juice. I am doing it for all meals except dinner, when I am going to eat some food, although I am considering avoiding the meat for this week. I am starting it today and will finish on Saturday. Depending on how I am feeling I may move up to the smoothie cleanse (basically adding protein powder in) or just return to clean food eating.
In the past week I have realized how completely insane my schedule used to be and why I am having a little bit of a hard time sitting still... My body is trained at this point to constantly have another thing to do and not ever ramp down. I am working on this in particular. Letting myself relax. It sounds funny, but it is really hard. That at being present in every moment. I am trying hard to be still both mentally and physically and working on forgiving someone in particular (no, not Mr. Darcy) while not knowing whether the person even cares if I forgive her.
The girls have been a hoot. They had kids night out at their old daycare and had a blast (full of sugar too) while Mr. Darcy and I had a great time with some wonderfully dear friends - I haven't laughed that hard in awhile! Saturday morning we took the ladies to Junior League's Breakfast with Santa which was a ton of fun. The girls loved on Santa and Mrs. Claus, Angelfish whispered her list in his ear so no one else (probably meaning her sister) would take her ideas. Ladybug told him the same list she had written at home. : )
My favorite thing the girls said this weekend was one if those overheard moments.
Angelfish: How do you draw that so good?
Ladybug: oh, you know, YEARS of practice!
Angelfish: I've had the exact same number of years of practice as you have!
The other was when Santa asked Angelfish where she got her freckles and she responded, "God put them there, of course!"
And now I am off to get a few things from the store. Mainly distiller whit vinegar which evidently is natures wonder cleaner. Oh and some paint and stuff because I decided to redo the girls playroom. Same furniture (although I am going to paint some of it), be revamped and reconfigured. I've wanted to do something different for awhile now, and I hope to have it done before Christmas!

Tuesday funnies

I had a brilliant idea this morning. I had the laundry in, the dishwasher going, the house straightened, so I was going to walk the kids to school and then keep walking to the grocery. I was only buying a handful of things... All went well. The girls said it was cold in the shade, so we ran from sun spot to sun spot until Angelfish declared that her ribs were hurting from breathing too hard. Then we walked the rest of the way. As we were waiting a few minutes because we made such good time (12 minutes is not bad when you are lugging two backpacks that weigh 7 pounds or so each) and were early, the ladies overheard that they could go in the school lobby to listen to a band play Christmas carols. Instantly chopped liver, off they went and so did I. At the store, I bought: 5 lbs of sugar, a container of canola oil, a container of coconut oil, Brie, a can of cranberry sauce, 2 cans of pumpkin, creamer, dark sugar, a jar of garlic. I am pretty sure all of that weighed about 10 pounds. The bag boy was nice enough to pack it into my sack, which then broke. But I rigged it so it would still work and hefted the 1.3 miles home. As I did, I realized the difference that 10 pounds make and decided I needed to make sure I keep off the weight I lost over the past year and to make a real effort to get the couple pounds that I've already gained back off.
So with this in my head, I made a pumpkin spice cake with salted caramel sauce for a holiday party/board meeting I have tonight, and vow not to have any especially since I had the left over quiche from last night for breakfast and just some good pork tenderloin left overs for lunch.
I had to laugh though about the groceries because the lack of forethought when purchasing an automatic 5 pound bag of sugar made me laugh at myself. It also made me think of the members of the military doing runs with their rucksacks which weigh much more than the 10 pounds I carried. Hoorah!
Day 4 of mile challenge complete in the form of a 2.6 mile walk (or more if we want to count the walking I did in the grocery but I'm not sure wandering up and down the aisles really counts). I think I might take on 3 miles tomorrow... But without the groceries!

December 3 = 2 miles

This weekend I started the mile challenge from 140 Point 6 (see side bar of Blogs to read)... One mile (minimum) everyday in the day of December. I have to admit that I am thrilled that one mile of fast walking is much easier than I thought. Going from long distances and 6x per week workouts to sitting on your keister except for the occasional yoga hour for a period of two years, makes me both appreciative and feeling a little pathetic. I remember when 2 miles (jogging not walking) was a warm up. But I am glad to be getting back into the swing of things.
The weekends are definitely the hardest because I like having two days with less structure than Monday through Friday, but I did a hike on Saturday with Mr. Darcy during the girls' tennis lesson and then an aborted trip to the playground with Angelfish on Sunday who was all for the walk until she changed her mind because she got frustrated because her shoe kept falling off when she would try to race me (interval training at its finest...Angelfish is the "fastest girl" in her class at PE but she is only 3rd fastest over all, and she is itching to beat those 2 boys who are faster. When your competition is about 4 inches taller though... But trying to explain gait length to a 6 1/2 year old isn't always easy.) and insisted (ironically at the 1/2 mile point) that she wanted to go home instead.
Today, day 3, I announced that we would be walking to school (0.95 mi in one direction). I ended up carrying their backpacks - who knew they were so heavy! No wonder Ladybug hates to race while carrying her backpack (that and I think she is a slow twitch runner like her Momma slow and distance, whereas Angelfish is fast and shorter distance like Mr. Darcy). Our original deal was that while I am searching for my next position in the world of nonprofit orgs, we would walk in the mornings and car ride in the afternoon (which was Ladybug's insistence to ensure she was comfortable with the pick up process & completely silly because we go to the playground for 1/2 an hour to 45 minutes after school before going home for homework etc.). So now we're simply implementing. My idea is that I will walk this week (on the way home I kicked it up to the point I was walking so quickly that I was seriously winded) and then I'll start the running next week, probably 3/1s to start and simply add a mile each week (as in 2 miles each day, then 3 miles each day, etc.) until I am doing 5 or 6 miles daily.
After i got home from the walk, I did some cleaning - straightening, cleaning, countertops, and then swept and vacuumed the house and did a load of laundry. Then I hit the web looking for my next potential career move. Next was a conference call for Junior League about the fiscal cliff, the potential for doing away with the charitable deduction for donations, and the importance of advocacy by nonprofit entities. More Junior League stuff for the community council (I'm VP of Community this year) as we have our Breakfast with Santa this Saturday and some other things for our other community programs, not to mention my monthly report was due. Which made me remember by National Director report was due too. I'm the National director of Communications for my sorority, so I chatted with my wonderful staff liason at headquarters, turned in my report, and then with my staff member decided that we would not have our team conference call this month because December is hectic enough. Made a doctor's appointment (annuals check up time) and moved my hair appointment to Friday. Attempted to attend another conference call on behalf of Second Harvest Food Bank of Central Florida for more on the fiscal cliff and the protection of the charitable deduction plus threats to SNAP funding (aka emergency food benefits or the old food stamps) in federal farm bill... Yup, I'm on SHFB's Board of Directors and head its Government Relations committee. But they moved the call last second to 3 pm when I had a meeting at the school for Angelfish and needed to pick the little ladies up.
Tomorrow, I am looking forward to doing a little bit of weights before I walk the ladies to school, some light cleaning, lunch with a friend, more job searching, time with the kids and then a Junior League Board Meeting/Holiday party... To which I think I will bring cranberry Brie, grapes and crackers. Which means I need to also add a trip to the grocery in there. Oh and I hope to write the annual Xmas letter and do some research about community bank investing in. Food access projects. : )
I guess Angelfish is right, it is "unfair" that I get to do what I want all day. Now if only I could get someone to pay me for my superhero work, all would be aligned in the universe!

December begins!

It is hard to believe that it is December 1st already. Time has flown by to the point I think I may have stepped into a time warp around May as that seems to be the last time frame I can clearly remember. To say the least things were much too busy.
Today was wonderful... And it's not over yet! The girls are very excited that it is the first day of December and the official count down to Christmas can begin. We put an ornament on one of our Advent calendars and opened the flap on another. Ladybug and I made some fudge and then we all headed to the girls' tennis lesson. While they were in their lesson, Mr. Darcy and I took the chance to do a 1 mile hike (it may have been a little more than a mile but not more than 1.25) through a park that the courts are in. Day 1 of challenge complete! I also took a picture for Day 1 of my photo challenge too. : ) When we got home, Angelfish and I baked oatmeal chocolate chip cookies while Mr. Darcy mowed the lawn. Later we will "elf" two of our friends (leave goodies, ring door bell and run!), which I have been looking forward to for days! In a few minutes the outdoor lights will be hung and the Darcy homestead shall be lit for the first time this Christmas season. If you haven't guessed, I love Christmas time and this year I have time to really enjoy it. I hope to make the most of it! I am contemplating trying to convince the family to do the annual viewing of "It's a Wonderful Life." I have watched that movie (my favorite) every year of my life from the time I was 8 (possibly before, but that is the first year I can remember watching it). Jimmy Stewart looks a little like my Dad, in my opinion (My cousin on the other hand used to say he looked like Gomer Pile...). Anyway. It is my favorite Christmas movie... But since I can quote it and often recite lines during the viewing, it's not always Mr. Darcy's favorite. I will have to bribe the kids with popcorn... Hmmm. I'm formulating my plan now. Tee hee.
Oh and I've been reading my old blogger friends recent posts... Still good as always! A few no longer blog which makes me sad that I cannot just pop in on them (metaphorically in the digital sense of course). I am amazed at life changes - new babies, new races, new thoughts. Funny what happens when you are not looking in life.
And one last thought... And if anyone is reading, I'd love to know your thought about this too. This Summer I donated bone marrow, but opted not to disclose information about myself to the recipient. I found out just before thanksgiving that the transfer grafted wonderfully and the man was home with his family doing well for the holidays. I cried tears of true joy knowing I was his last chance and it worked. My initial thought is still that I want to be unanimous because I want it to be a true gift - not to be about me in any sense. Yet I find myself wanting to send him a Christmas card, wishes for the season. But an unsigned Christmas card sent through the blood center seems odd too. Any thoughts on how for reconcile the two? My guess is I'll send my thoughts through the universe to deliver in its own way and that will be the best result. For it truly is a Wonderful Life.

Holy Moly...Life Changes and then some!

I am not even sure where to begin. I see my last post was to say that I started the law firm with two partners, which I did slightly more than 2 years ago. It consumed me quite honestly. I had no time whatsoever for exercise, little time for family (although I found ways to make time for family), and my "triathlon" consisted of networking like mad, working and meeting with clients, and getting as involved as possible in the community. At one point I was on 7 or 8 Boards, and was trying to narrow it down to 4.   In Junior League, I chaired the Public Affairs Committee and quite honestly discovered my passion... Advocating for healthy food access for all Americans, especially those living in food deserts. It made me crazy to see kids in town who because they were poor only have access to junk food because fast food restaurants take SNAP and there were no groceries in their neighborhoods. So I galvanized the states' Junior Leagues, had a bill introduced, worked like the dickens to get it passed.  It didn't pass. At midnight on the last day of the Florida legislative session when there was officially no chance, I cried and had a few choice words for the politicians. I was in love with trying to make a difference and being the voice for those whose voice is often unheard. I didn't give up though. I've kept working at it and have gotten the Department of Agriculture to host a Food Access Policy stakeholders meeting which is coming up. Working on this - when I was/am working on it are the happiest moments of my professional life.
During all of this, I lost 40 pounds and went through an initially hellish roller coaster in my marriage. Mr. Darcy and I ran the chance at points of not making it to our 15th anniversary. But I actually look back gratefully at it all because in the process I realized I was, for the most part, not living my life but the life of someone who worried what everyone else thought about me and did everything I could to do what they wanted, or what I thought they wanted of me. And I slowly found myself again. I even figured out that was what I was chasing down in my triathlons - something just for me.
In finding myself, I found that for all his flaws, I did not want to leave Mr. Darcy and my plot to lose 40 pounds and then divorce him wasn't really what I wanted. We been through counseling together (and some separately for me to help me on my journey to be the me I was out here to be) and we had an amazingly wonderful 15th anniversary, which we celebrated in France! (Ladybug and Angelfish stayed home... Part of the week with Grammie & Papa and the other with dear friends.)
Yet, I couldn't figure out, or perhaps did not want to acknowledge it, but I was still unhappy except for when I was working on advocacy work. And then one day the neon sign turned on in my head. It was something I had wrestled with for a long time - the fact that I have never liked being an attorney. I love the people and learning their stories, but the lawyering and the business of being an attorney. But this time, there was more to the neon sign... It was the truth of what I wanted to do with myself - to work to make change in the lives of those who need it most. So I went home and Mr. Darcy and I had long talks and I did a good bit of praying, and dedicated a counseling session to this topic. And I knew. I've ironically been praying for more than a year for God to show me the path I needed to set my feet upon and follow. And for once it was calm and peaceful and as though it was the most obvious thing in the world and I had no clue how I had taken this long to figure it out. And Mr. Darcy in full support, I made my decision which may not have been the best received news in the world yet I know it was the right choice for me.
As of 5 pm on November 16, 2012, I transferred my ownership in the firm to my partners, said goodbye to clients (so many of whom and very sweet and kind words about what I meant to them as their attorney and even more so as a friend), and set out. I've interviewed for a few positions, and submitted my résumé and interest for other positions and I am waiting. I know that I am on the path I am intended to be on.
For now, I am looking for a position in the nonprofit sector and enjoying the time and the life I have. It is nice to have time with the girls, who believe it or not are in 1st grade and are as smart as can be and who are reading on almost a 3rd grade level, doing math and everything! I'm enjoying taking my time cooking nice, healthy meals every night without being strapped for time and energy. Doing errands and cleaning during the week.
And returning to things I love that I haven't done in ages. Blogging (although I am not sure the title still works as i haven't done a race in more than 2 years). Exercising - I started this week with yoga since I started the week with a head cold. And I find myself itching to run. I signed up to do a 5K color run with some friends in mid-January, so I need to lace up and hit the road. Yesterday, I saw a fellow blogger of old posted about committing to almost 1 mile per day every day of December and I am seriously contemplating it. I've even been thinking about my bike, but I'm not sure when my next triathlon will be. I'll figure all of that out in good time.Photography - a photo a day themed on The holidays... Which I have decided to do. Time for and with friends and family.
Perhaps most of all I am working on being present in everything I do instead of thinking about the next thing that has to be done, but yet keeping to do lists so I don't drop any balls. I have to say, it is much easier now. I am happy and eagerly awaiting the next chapter in my life to unfold.
So much has changed while I have been gone, but it was all for the best....

The Return of TriMommy!

Here I am... scary that when I logged in, it said I hadn't blogged since November 10, 2010.  Yowsers!

A lot has gone on since then... I officially joined a law firm - Englert Leite & Martin PL - and as of last Friday, made that my sole full-time enterprise.  Many weeks of 90 hours/week made it difficult to exercise.  For a week in there I tried to do 20 minutes of the 30 day shred.  It did not last for 30 days.  It was seriously amazing how getting up at 5 am to work everyday so you could do law firm work and then full time other work, then networking or working until the wee hours day after day left no time whatsoever for that.

In December, I had to have my gallbladder removed after a night that made my doctor wonder if I had had a heart attack or minor stroke.  Turned out it was my gallbladder (and a sinus infection - great use of a brain scan).  So 2 days before Christmas, out it came.  Don't remember much of Christmas, but I do know the girls were happy with Santa.

HIP Kids was still going gang busters, although we did move locations to a center that LOVES having the program there and the kids were thrilled to see us.  That has ended for the year as well.

And of course, you know me - I can't have enough on my plate, so I have been running for Woman of the Year for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.  Fundraising has been difficult in this economy, but I've really been giving my all.  I can't tell total numbers (against the rules), but the two fundraisers I had this weekend (a band benefit at a club downtown and a Happy Hour with silent bucket auction) raised $914!  I was thrilled!

I'm in the final push for that as well - donations shut off at noon on Friday, May 20th... if you'd like to donate to help find a cure for cancer, please do: www.ncfl.mwoy.llsevent.org/katemartin  (I know - I just disclosed my "true" identity hahahaha).

I am so happy to have been fundraising for LLS, a cause near and dear to my heart, but quite honestly I am ready for this to be over.  It's a little stressful wondering if you're raising enough and what else can you do and so on.

I started reading the Secret, so I'm envisioning checks or credit card charges being made to my LLS campaign as we speak (and I'm not joking).  It makes a lot of sense.  Just like I used to envision races or even long workouts, now I'm doing it for other parts of my life.  So far, I'm really good at getting parking spots. : )

Anyway.  So I started back to the workout today (I needed a recovery day from my Sunday fundraising event - 4 Sangrias later)... Mind you I haven't run or anything (other than flirting with The Shred) since October.  I ran and walked 2.5 miles with a neighbor today.  I was kind of happy when she told me about .15 in that we were doing a 9 minute mile pace because I was dying.  Of course, the entire thing was super hard since I have not been using my body for such things in awhile.  I plan on an hour of yoga in the morning tomorrow, and a 2 mile run on Thursday, followed by a jog with my neighbor from my house to the Y where we will do a spin class and then jog home. 

The hardest part about getting back into exercising (and eventually triathlon) again is the fact that despite my brain knowing it's been forever since I worked out, I had thoughts like "holy sh#t - what is wrong with me? I used to be able to run forever and at a much faster pace without needing to walk like this!"  But by the end of the 2.5 miles I was able to remind myself (although I had to use the "You've gone farther than this to get here, so you can run to the house for about a distance of at most a 0.25 mile) that the good news was that I was out there doing something again. 

The goal for now is to get back to being able to run 3 days a week 3-4 miles each day. Yoga at least 2-3 days a week, and maybe throw the shred in on a running day as well.  Then start mixing the bike in.  Next thing you know I'll be either doing road races or triathlons again.  Ladybug has inquired about when that next triathlon will be a few times over the last month and is still telling people that when she grows up she wants to be a veterinarian (no, she does not say animal doctor and corrects you if you do - and no, she's not 5 yet), a Mommy & a triathlete.  My goal is to get her and her sister riding a bike by the end of the summer. : )

Speaking of the girls, they are about to graduate from Pre-K.  I registered them for Kindergarten today after an excruciating (and yet looking back at it funny) visit to the pediatrician for their final shots and 5 year old check up so that we could get them registered at school.  They love their doctor, who is working with a resident - whose 1st day was today and whose 1st appointment was you guessed it - Ladybug and Angelfish!  It is always funny to me how my kids can sense when someone doesn't have a full handle on what they're doing... they were silly.  When asked to sing the ABCs, part way through they purposefully started saying them out of order and singing "CAKE spells cake."  I had to tell them that the doctor needed to make sure that they could go to Kindergarten so they needed to answer her the right way... they sang it right that time.  Angelfish told the doctor she brushes her teeth 5 times a day and watches 10 hours of TV everyday, until I asked her if she was being silly.  Ladybug said she brushes her teeth once a day - once in the mornning and once in the evening, then said 1+1 = 2, so I guess that's really 2 times.  When the "regular" doctor came in, they were just fine.  Reminds me of the movie Jerry Maguire - kids and dogs can smell fear.

Speaking of fear. Then it was time for shots. Hysteria.  To the point that Ladybug was fighting and begging me not to let them give her shots, and then Angelfish had to be pulled out from underneath a table she was hiding under.  Hysteria x 2 when it came to the finger prick for the annual bloodwork to check cholesterol and such.  I asked Ladybug to tell Angelfish it really wasn't all that bad, and instead she said "Angelfish ball your fist up really hard - don't let them do it to you!"  I had to get Ladybug to sit outside the room on a bench and explain that they were about to call for nurses to hold Angelfish down to get the blood drawn for Angelfish to relent and give them a finger to prick.  And then she was fascinated by how they collected her blood in the tube for the test.  And within 5 minutes they were both happy go lucky little kids again.

So in some ways, things have changed.  And some ways things have stayed the same.  2.5 miles used to be a short easy run... but at least I'm doing it again!  I loved running - need a new pair of shoes, but it felt great (despite being as hard as hades...) to be out there again.

I plan to keep it up.  That full IM by 40 might still be in the action plan after all...

It's Been A While...

It has been a while.  I hope you all haven't given up on me.  Life has been quite busy - networking, working and more working, the little ladies, and the everyday stuff.  I admit fully that the thing that had to give (because something had to) was my training. Unfortunately, that meant no training.

I've been doing marathons of another sort - working or networking or doing meetings each night until 11 pm and not being able to drag myself out of bed at 5:30 to get the work outs in.  But I will say that even though a bit stressful, I'm having a great time with it all.

Yet, I was constantly missing physical activity.  Sure, I play some with the kids but going from triathelete to not exercising at all definitely left a hole - not just the pressure of not having gotten a workout done, but the physical need for movement AND stress relief.

So this Monday, I got out of bed at 6 am and went for a 2 miler.  I figure I am starting over at this point.  But amazingly, it wasn't as bad as I thought.  I've retained some stamina at least.  My back has been twingy (probably thanks to high heels being reintroduced into my wardrobe) so I didn't push it - I alternated running 0.25 miles with walking 0.25 miles and still made it home in less than half an hour.  I definitely need new shoes - they squeaked the whole way and my knee (which only bothers me when it's time to get a new pair of shoes) twinged toward the end.  It felt so good to be out and moving again.  And I felt good when running.  My lungs burned a little but then I just slowed the pace a tiny bit and that stopped.  I didn't wear a watch so I'm not sure how long it took me, but I know it was less than half an hour... I think around 25 minutes.

This morning I got up at 5:50 and after a quick look at the internet because our phone is not working but our DSL is, I did half an hour of yoga.  Oddly enough, after the yoga was done I wished I had run again.  But for now, the plan is to get back to doing 5/1's in a 2 miler and then slowly add more distance.  I have a feeling I can still do the 5/1's but my mind has to believe it more than my body.

It may be a little bit until I am able to figure out how to get tri training in and enough sleep and everything done, but for now I hope to get  3-4 five mile runs in a week and do yoga for 1/2 an hour on the other days with Sunday off.  Of course, this morning while doing a one-legged down dog pose the thought came to me - a full IM the year I turn 40.  That's 5 years from now, so we'll see but even down deep and in my dreams I'm still a triathlete.

The girls are doing great by the way... looking forward to Santa.  Angelfish is definitely driven by Santa and presents - she modifies her behavior and tells us that she's thinking of Santa and whether he'd think she was being nice or naughty, and that she loves Santa Claus.  Ladybug is stubborn still but she's getting better at making "good choices" instead of just insisting on her way.  But she may get a little coal in her stocking to prove a point... I just can't decide if that would be too traumatizing for her or not. 

We attempted to take them ice skating the other week (yes in Florida) which was more of a hassle than anything.  I don't think 4 year old balance was quite good enough to endure.  But I will say I was really proud of their effort.  They were on the ice a good 15-30 minutes before giving up the ghost.  Lots of falling but no crying.  Amazingly, I did not fall despite holding the hand of a small child and attempting to keep the child up and moving without injuring them or me.  It was kind of like cycling in a windstorm... I would bear down with my quads and steady my lower body while still moving but then was using my upper body to pull up on the kiddo.  My lower back wasn't thrilled by the end of it all, but I think they had a good time all the same.  Mr. Darcy said that he won't contemplate attempting it again until they're at least 7... so 2 1/2 years from now, stay tuned.

I hope you all are well - I have to admit that my blog reading has been nonexistent.  So I have a ton to catch up with...

Love is in the Air - or at least the Love Bugs are...

It is love bug season here in Orlando, and it's a rather cosmic infestation this year.  The girls' daycare is evidently extremely attractive to the love bugs, as one day the entire front of the building was covered in love bugs.  Over the weekend, they had even found their way into the girls' classrooms through a crack somewhere and the floor was covered with dead love bugs.

Now, I'm not sure about you all, but when you can't walk outside without getting love bugs on you it doesn't really induce me to want to run or bike.  Especially bike - I envision my face having those splattered love bugs all over it like my windshield does. Yuck.  And that goes double yuck when I think about the fact that those love bugs that are stuck together are in fact copulating. Double yuck.

Monday I took the girls to daycare, so that took up my morning workout time.  Tuesday I did an hour of yoga, and the 2nd half hour was a difficult third eye opening sequence with planks, side planks and more that left me super sweaty... and made my tricepts and my hamstrings a little sore.  I take it as a good thing.  This morning, I was stressing over some stuff that I can't talk about in the blog just yet, so I got up and sent a few emails and then went for a 2 mile run.  I did it in just a little under 20 minutes, which I was happy with.  It's my first run since the bronchitis and I only stopped coughing sometime around last Friday.  My lungs felt good, but my mind was all over the place.  I figured since I haven't really run, run in about 2 months (very pathetic to see that in writing) I would start with a good solid run for 2 miles.  I didn't wear a watch so I'm pretty sure my running stretches were longer than 5 minutes, especially since I hit the half mile mark before I walked a minute and then didn't walk again until after I hit the mile mark, or the 1.4 mile mark and then didn't walk until I got home.  All in all I was pleased.  Although I realized that I need to wear my watch and do the 5/1's because it's like a contract with myself - I know I am going to run for 5 and walk for 1.  When I run without my watch, my brain likes to try to say things to me like "you can stop here and then walk to there and then run." and sometimes its after just a silly little space of distance... and it wasn't just today, it's every time I don't run with a watch.  So my running watch will be my constant running companion from this point out.  It had rained yesterday, and evidently the love bugs don't like rain because I had a nice love bug free run. : )

Of course, love bug season has caused some interesting discussions around our house.  Ladybug has decided that she loves the love bugs.  As she tells me, "Mommy, I love the love bugs and they love me too."  She is very sensitive to all of God's creatures, including red ants and any other sort of bug.  She was a bit distraught one day though and asked me "Do love bugs suck all the love out of your heart when they land on you?"  I told her no, and asked where she heard that one.  From one of her little daycare friends who I happen to know that her parents just got divorced.  So I had to explain why they are called love bugs.  But, since I personally am not ready to have the S-E-X discussion with my 4 year olds (mainly because Mr. Darcy would  probably pass out), I left the fact that the bugs are copulating out of the discussion.  I told her that they are called love bugs because the ones that are attached to each other are like people who are in love - they always want to be together.  Then she asked "but what about the ones that aren't attached?"  I had to think quick, so I said "those are the ones still looking for their true love."  Other than saying she was sad for those love bugs because they were lonely, she was good with that.  You have to be a quick thinker with these kids...

We've also been working on manners, and it must be sinking in because this weekend Angelfish was having a difficult time saying "surprise" - she kept saying "urpise."  So I helped her by saying the word for her and really emphasizing the "sur" part of the word.  To which she responded, "Mommy? Is it "sirprise" and "m'am prise"?  Mr. Darcy and I had a nice laugh over that one and I of course explained that while it sounds similar it's two different things.

And that my friends, is all the news that is fit to print... for now!