Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Just When You Thought It Was Safe

I had a hard swim this morning.  I needed a hard swim this morning.  Of course, I had to use the buoy and I cheated a little bit and swam about 600m of the 2000m I did this morning (including an all out 25 m sprint at the end of the swim - I sprinted so hard my lungs burned.  It was awesome!).

Yesterday was an "interesting" day.  It was good because I got to send out my "tv debut" and it was really funny to hear from friends and family alike how professional and knowledgeable I sounded (and they all told me I looked great... make up artists and hair dressers following you around can do that).  It dawned on me that other than my friends from the old law firm, my friends and family don't see what I'm like as an attorney.  Some of them see me as that girl they went to school with who was/is silly and fun loving.  Some see me as the little girl they think of because they're my family.  And then some of my friends only know me in the sports arena.  So it made me laugh at people's reactions, including one of my friends from middle school and high school who said she wouldn't have even recognized me if I hadn't told her it was me. 

And I had a good day with the girls who were, all in all, in good moods and a lot of fun.

But work kind of stunk.  I did a research project and sent it to my boss.  I didn't realize that she wanted the summary of the research to be the email not the attachment, and on top of it I wasn't as specific as I should have been in the email I sent her.  The attached research and summary was very clear but the email wasn't.  So she emailed back with a question which made me look at my first email again and realized that what I wrote wasn't clear (other than if you were the mice churning the wheels in my own head because I knew what I was talking about).  I responded with a very clear explanation this time.  She then said that she didn't see that in my first email.  I admitted that was the case.  She asked me to edit my email.  This confused me because I sat there trying to figure out how you edit an email that you've already sent.  So I asked if she wanted me to edit the attached summary (which was clear but I wasn't sure if she had even read it) and pointed out what it said and where or to send her a new email.  She didn't respond promptly so I just sent her the new email with a very clear explanation and the attachments.  After I hit send, she sent an email saying to edit my email and resend it to her.  I emailed saying I just sent a separate email. She said that was what she needed.  I said that email could be confusing.  Then she emailed and told me to call her.  I called.  She made me feel stupid because I didn't know she wanted the summary to be the email portion and the research the attachment.  But it's not like she was overly clear other than saying research X and send me a summary and the rules.  Yes, it was for people in our headquarters but why would that mean the summary was supposed to be the email.  The second she said it I told her that now everything else made sense about what she was asking for, that I was sorry I hadn't been as clear as I needed to the first time around but that I'm glad I had given her what she needed in the end even if it took some back and forth on the email.  And then she brought up a situation from OVER A YEAR AGO that in many ways was very different.  But as I've said to a colleague, I don't make mistakes often but when I do my boss NEVER forgets them.  And I'm sorry but if you premise a statement with "I don't mean to bring up the past..." you know exactly what you're doing and that it's not nice.  And the two things were different... especially in the sense that yesterday's lack of clarity was able to be fixed before it went to the people at headquarters and it was fixed before being sent out.  It ticks me off to no end though to have crud thrown in your face like that.  Plus, it reminds me of one of the main reasons that I seriously dislike being a lawyer.... you are never allowed to make a mistake - minor or major.  And of course, I'm human.  As a human, I make mistakes.  So to be a lawyer that means you can't be human... which is why there are so many alcoholics in the legal profession (luckily I am not one of them).  And it also explains why I had a glass of red wine with dinner that was really the size of 2 regular glasses of red wine... just in one red wine glass.

Well, that and Mr. Darcy's news.  Last week things were looking like we might be out of the woods for the pay cuts because rumors were going around the office that if you weren't in the title structure (which Mr. Darcy is not yet a part of because he was a lateral hire and then they froze giving promotions much later in the year due to the state of the economy and there being fewer projects even available to try for, etc.) you weren't going to be subject to the pay cuts.  Supposedly the idea was that the title structure people had shared in the bonuses (non-title structure people don't get bonuses) when times were good that now that times were not so good they were going to be the ones to get the paycut.  Which is respectable, although as I said to Mr. Darcy, most companies don't work that way so let's not go out and celebrate just yet.  Then the next day more rumors because allegedly everyone who was getting a paycut had an appointment scheduled with the big cheese for sometime last week so that they would know what their paycut would be before November 1st - the day that the paycuts take effect.  Friday came and went and Mr. Darcy didn't get an email or a hint that an email would be coming to notify him of a paycut.  So for the weekend, we were feeling a little more at ease about things (but without spending of course).

Well, I tend to be right a lot.  Monday at 11 am, Mr. Darcy got an appointment emailed to him about seeing the big cheese for this Wednesday.  As did two others in his work group who are not part of the title structure.  They only mentioned to each other that they had an appointment scheduled, and didn't discuss much else.  And of course, we can only expect that this will be the dreaded paycut discussion.  Mr. Darcy's Dad said that perhaps it would be that they were going to tell them that they weren't getting cuts and to reassure them that the company was healthy enough.  At this point I would rather expect the worst and be surprised with the best, and not blow sunshine you know where.  While Mr. Darcy's Dad could be right, companies do that sort of thing, they also usually give you a hint that things are okay when they do them.  No such hint was given.  Thus, the wine.

What was good and bad about the day was my leg.  It didn't seem to hurt much yesterday, but at 6 pm I noticed that my calf was swollen to the point that the bottom of the knee sleeve was digging into it.  So I took some advil and took off the knee sleeve.  Within 10 minutes of taking off the knee sleeve, my calf was hurting badly and even the arch of my foot was hurting.  This morning it hurt a little when I walked around, but not much.  WHen I swam without the buoy, my calf started to ache a little bit when I had gotten to the 300m part of the swim, so I used the buoy from that point until I got sick of it and did my last 300m without it.  But I noticed that when I used the buoy and pushed off the wall, I would get a really strong twinge in the muscle on the back side of my quad.  I couldn't tell if it was related to my hamstring or just the quad though.  Even after swimming my last 300 m (including the awesome 25 m sprint), my leg didn't bother me... until I was sitting in the car driving home from the gym. And then it had some minor aching, which went away.  But now when I walk, I have some pain in my calf and the arch of my foot feels really tight and a little painful. That is the part that has me nervous... I read stuff online (in fact I've had a doctor ban me from doing medical research on the internet even though I only look at Mayo Clinic and some other very trustworthy sites, even though I helped diagnose the problem I was having) and what I've seen that is a little similar is not good.  But I can't find anything that sounds exactly like what's going on with me, which is both good and bad.

I'm not someone that likes to wait around on things, and I know enough about the human body to be dangerous in looking at things.  But that's what I just have to do... ignore the internet, wait for the expert, and drink wine and hit the pool in the meantime of all this waiting around on doctors, bosses, and potential paycuts.  In the end, it will all work out and I will survive and even be happy.  All I can do is my best.  All will out in the end.

I'll hope for a happier, lighter post for the 'morrow.  Thanks for tuning in!

1 comment:

  1. Fingers crossed for tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day.