Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Rambling Thoughts on a Wednesday

I don't even know where to begin today. So, I'll start typing and we'll see what gets said. Soemtimes I think that's how life is, you just have to jump in when you're not sure where to start.

This morning, I woke up at 1:30 am to hear Angelfish crying and calling for me. I ran in and she needed to use the potty, so I told her to go into the bathroom. Last night they were giving us a hard time about bed, Ladybug in particular, and I think Mr. Darcy got to the point that he said if anyone got out of bed they were going to get a spanking. Spankings are given out sparingly in our household, and only when absolutely necessary. Evidently Angelfish took this to mean that even in the middle of the night she couldn't leave the room to go potty. Luckily, she made it in time, but I was feeling badly for her. Then she and I snuggled together as she fell back asleep in her bed. Angelfish told me she wanted me to snuggle with her and I couldn't refuse. I love feeling the hot of her breath as she breathes on my neck, or her sweet little arm that she puts around my neck, or when she switches to holding my hand when she's starting to really drift off. How can I refuse? I'm sure there's something somewhere that says this is why they want to stay up or insist that we stay in their room when we tell them it's time for us to go to bed in our room, but I can't help giving in to those middle of the night requests. They don't happen all that often, and eventually they won't want to snuggle like that.

Finally back in my own bed, I woke later realizing I needed to get myself out of bed and to the pool. I had a 8am conference call to play a major part in, so there was no stalling this morning. I grabbed breakfast, packed my bag (should have done it the night before... oh well), and headed to the gym. It was a wierd swim. I felt slow at times and then I felt fast and strong at times. I paid attention to form and stroke thinking that was the difference, but in the end I just chalked it up to the fact that this is a recovery week and well, my body must be recovering. It was a ladder starting with 100m and culminating with 400m before repeating and decreasing in length. I always have such a hard time waiting the full time Coach puts down to rest between each. 1:00 after the 200m swims and 1:30 seconds after the 400m swims just seems inordinately long to me. But, I stuck to it. It took me 39:30 to finish a 1800m swim. Of course there was 6 or 7 minutes of rest time in there and I swam some backstroke and breast stroke during my 200 cool down, but it still seemed like a long time today. As always, though, the swim was refreshing and cathartic. No worries, no pains, watching the guy in the lane next to me swim with his wierd stroke as I swam past and thinking about the advice I'd give if it wouldn't seem too impertinent.

And then I got home. A friend is going through a rough patch. One that I have been through myself, although possibly in a slightly different way. When I found out, I told her my story and that she could talk to me at any time day or night. I told her that what she was going through is hard but having someone to talk to will help. I was a little nervous sending the email to her because she is a new friend, and with knew friends you aren't quite sure if you can say something and not seem like you're being a busy body (which I decidedly am not) or well, wierd. When she responded, it made my heart sing. Literally. I believe that God puts us in people's lives for a reason. Maybe I believe too much in fate, but I think every person I meet (including through the blogosphere) is in my life - even if it's the grocery check out person or whoever - for a reason. Not just for me but for them too. Sometimes it's just to be a friendly face, to be someone who listens and understands, and other times it's to be a friend. Whenever I've really needed something, it somehow falls into my lap and sometimes from the hands of perfect strangers. I might not recognize it at the time, but when I look back I notice it. When I read my friend's response, I had that warm feeling you get when you know you are doing exactly what you should be doing and that you're exactly in the right place at the right time. I just hope she takes me up on my day or night phone call offer.

Then I had to hop on a conference call for that Georgia Bar Committee I'm on. I've been a little annoyed as of late because all email references to the proposed draft of changes lately has been referred to as drafted by x and TriMommy. I know it's really petty, but I did the large majority of the work and X did some minor work on it. I guess I wanted credit where I felt credit was due. Today, the Committee head did just that. There were new members to the committee and she explained the work we had done, etc. Just the fact that she mentioned that I did the lion's share of the work made me feel better and happier. I don't want accolades, just credit for what I have done. It makes me wonder why I needed that so much. Does it really matter? Probably not. In the big scheme of things, it definitely doesn't matter but my silly brain thought it did.

And now I'm hungry. So I'm off for a snack. But before I go, I realized while swimming that I probably haven't been eating enough and that may be why I was so tired last week. Not only was I doing a heavy load of workouts, but I not only did not increase the amount I was eating I actually had forgotten to have the 2nd half of my breakfast (I do about 250 cal before and then about 250 cal after, usually) each day for the past 2 1/2 weeks. Why I didnt' realize this, I have no idea. I wasn't getting hungry, but then I have times when I don't get hungry and have to eat by the clock or else I can go the entire day without eating once I've had breakfast. Too bad that doesn't work to make you thinner. So I'm happily off to eat.

Oh, and I'm excited. I mentioned previously that I planned to join Junior League so I could get back into community service and meet some people. I applied and our Provisional Retreat (where we get to learn more about Junior League and meet the other ladies who are joining as well) is this Saturday. I feel badly for Mr. Darcy because he has another full day with the little ladies and then will have them when they wake up on Sunday while I do my 8 mile run (but luckily it should be a much shorter workout than a 50 mile bike and 6 mile run). But he's been fully supportive, which makes me happy. I'm a little nervous too. It's kind of like the jitters I used to get before starting the 1st day of school... what should I wear? I hope I like the other kids... and that they like me. I hope I like what I'm getting myself into. But, getting back into community service and meeting new people will make me happy too. It's my nature.

So I've rambled on a bit and my stomach is telling me a few things... until tomorrow!

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