Last night was a sleepless mess. I fell asleep on the sofa, exhausted, after the girls went to bed and at some point during "American Idol" - my guilty pleasure. There was no swim yesterday because, well, the day was insane and never quite let up (see yesterday's posts for some of the details). Somehow my brain at least remembered I needed to get a going away party for Ladybug's teacher as today is her last day and we will miss her terribly. I remembered on the way home from getting the girls from daycare, right as Mr. Darcy called and asked if I wanted to meet him up by Waterford Lakes for dinner... which happened to be right as we pulled in the driveway to the house.
So off we went. A drive filled with Ladybug insisting I turn the car around because she wanted to go home and didn't want to meet Daddy. While Angelfish told her, "No. Daddy will be lonely and sad. We go see him." But somehow seeing Daddy made Ladybug stop crying. I think Ladybug was just tired from not sleeping that well the night before due to her little accidents. Dinner had a couple trips to the bathroom for the little ladies... dry pants all around! Whoo Hoo! Then to the store where the girls asked if we could buy all sorts of silly things for Ladybug's teacher - a ball with wierd stuff on it that lit up when you bounce it, a jar with a fake worm in it, plastic worms, glow sticks, etc. In the end, Angelfish settled on little note cards that have a picture of a crown and say"You Rule" and Ladybug chose a little pot that will grow a pink zinnia flower, and we got a gift card from us. Then back home, time for bed for the girls, a temper tantrum for Ladybug, reading books, and finally into bed for the girls. By this time it was almost 9 pm. I couldn't keep my eyes open so I knew the swim was out. I fell asleep on the sofa before they announced the second person to be eliminated, shortly after KC and the Sunshine Band.
But then I woke up at 1 am thinking. Somehow I was able to fall back asleep until 2:12 am. And then it was impossible to go back to sleep. No matter what I tried, a million thoughts and feelings just kept running around in my brain. When I went to what time it was (around 3:30 am), Mr. Darcy elbowed me in the eye and that was it. I pretty much lost it - not yelling or crying, but my brain was definitely frazzled... I was at the point of complete and utter exhaustion. So, poor Mr. Darcy was now up and we had a conversation that we probably should have had anyway, but that has been avoided or just not made time for. One of those conversations about family workloads, things left unresolved, lack of communication and hurt feelings over things said and done. Conversations either previously started and aborted or avoided because you didn't want to argue, but unintentionally ended up festering in your subconcious.
No sleep for either of us until after the alarm went off at 5:30 am when I was supposed to have gotten up to go for a bike ride down at the airport. Around 6 am I called my coach and told her that my insomnia probably had not put me in a place to ride a bike on the open roads. Only then could I sleep. Essentially one hour until Ms. Ladybug greeted us - with dry underpants - and climbed in to bed with me until she realized she needed to pee and then wandered to the bathroom. Then she went to wake her sister. Angelfish also was dry and wandered to the bathroom to go potty. 2 girls with dry beds and dry underpants! YAY!
After we got the girls ready for school, I felt the fatigue set in. But I had Mr. Darcy help me set up the trainer - me doing the hard stuff and him watching to make sure I was doing it right, so I could learn. Then we got the girls in the car, calmed the crying Ladybug with kisses and hugs and promises to pick her up from school this afternoon (she wanted to stay home with Mommy today), and I hit the trainer for an hour. My bike computer is not working, so I can only guess at what I did - I did an hour thinking that would be about 15 miles since lately I've been averaging around 17-18 mph on the flats. Slower on the up hills and often much faster on the down hills.
I will do a 2 mile run either at lunch or this evening. I'm thinking lunch is my best bet... so I really need to make sure I take a lunch today. Perhaps my 2 mile run, a quick shower, and a quick nap? Oh, perchance to dream...
I love you babe and I'm glad we chatted this morning. Love you and I'm so proud of you!!!
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