Maybe it's because my back is being cranky and that means I'm not supposed to run, and I have this odd tendency to want to do thinks I'm not "supposed" to do. But it's like I can't stop thinking about running.
This is me we're talking about. The woman who only admitted to herself and blogland that she might actually like running a few months ago. I used to think about running as just that requirement that they make you do after the swim and the bike to get your finisher's medal.
I have no ideas of grandeur here. I'm built for swimming and not necessarily for running (as my back would like to remind me at the moment), and I doubt I'll ever be fast compared to others. I do keep getting faster though. I have to say that Saturday's 5 miler at 57:33 (essentially a 11:30 pace) made me happy because I had walked 6 minutes of it (other than the 1 part of the the 5/1's that is). It's a marked improvement from last year, but it's not getting me hardware anytime soon.
During lunch I met with the nutritionist. (Who, BTW, told me that when she did a detailed analysis of my eating log said that I came out almost exactly to the grams of carbs and protein that she calculated for me, but ironically I need to increase my fat a little... but that the 1 oz of dark chocolate and some nuts here and there would help with that). I see people running by. I'm wearing flip flops at the time, but I want to get up and run. I have to refocus and she makes me smile by telling me not to be surprised if as the thyroid and B12 really start to kick in, I not only wonder how I was surviving but also if I start to put on lean body mass and I think to myself - I want runners legs. Later, I'm sitting in the office and a woman sprints (and I mean sprints) by my window.... she's interval training. I want to go lace up my sneakers and run.
I see the newest issue of Runner's World has come in, and I start reading. I see the ad for The Rock n' Roll Virginia Beach 1/2 marathon on September 5th and think, "OOOH. I wonder if Mr. Darcy would mind if I ran in that. It looks so pretty." I fantasize about getting Mr. Darcy into running (we attempted the triathlon and that didn't go over so well last year) and how it would be so great if we could run together... of course then I remember that someone has to watch the kids during all that running. And well, I don't want to give up running, so Mr. Darcy will probably just have to stick to not running. But then it makes it difficult to convince him to let me do these races when he doesn't quite get the draw of it. Sigh.
I turn the page and I read an article about intervals and tempo runs and wonder am I a "novice" or an "intermediate" runner at this point. I've been running for 1 1/2 years now... of course as part of my swim bike run. And then that 1/2 marathon and that other 1/2 marathon I'm already signed up for and those 5K and 15K races I'm thinking about... So what am I?
Done with Runner's World, I think that it's such a pretty day out that it's a shame that I have to work for a living and can't just run (or bike or swim for that matter) any old time that I want.
And then I think SWIM practice tonight! Oh yeah. I may be starting to Love running (that's right, Love - with a capital L) but nothing, even running, will supplant my love for the pool. And it never makes me hurt in a bad way.
And then I think, I need to paint my office that nice blue color I have taped to the wall... and add something that I can store my finishers medals in. One for triathlons and one for running. My Disney Princess 1/2 Marathon medal is pretty cute, and I definitely want more of those. Just like I want more of those triathlon finisher medals. I really want that St. Anthony's medal at the end of the month. I want it bad enough I can almost taste it.
It's been a tough early season so far, but maybe just maybe that's why I want to run so much. Maybe it's about running away from it all, and finding "it" somewhere out there on either the swim/bike/run or on the run. Maybe it's not the sickness, but the cure.
So come on back... let's get on board. We've got a big triathlon and run season ahead of us, my running shoes just told me so.