Friday, May 8, 2009

Running and Mother's Day

I went for a 30 minute easy run this morning and employed the Galloway method of run x, walk y. I ran 5, walked 1. I have to say that while this used to be a favored way of mine of doing an "easy run, " I didn't enjoy it this morning. I felt tied to my watch and as though I was running slower instead of faster by using it. Next time, I'll just run it out, I think. As Coach Bill from TNT said, he likes to just run for as long as and as fast as he can.... of course, he's also a professional duathlon and runner who does ultramarathons, but I think I'm with him on that method even if I'm no where near as fast as he is, unless I'm driving my car of course. But while I was running, I pretty much enjoyed it although I had a little bit of wheeziness from all the pollen. I'm back on the allergy meds (thank goodness), but if the wheeziness is still there the next time I run, I may need to get an inhaler for my asthma (which I have attacks of only every once in a blue moon) to help things out. I'm hoping it will just be gone so I don't have to do that, though.

When I got back from my run, I had some recoverite. I know that seems kind of excessive for a 30 minute easy run but I was sweating a ton (it's hot in sunny Florida today) and feeling a bit sluggish despite a nice bowl of cereal before the run. It seems to have helped. I also went online to see what was in the news and came across an article entitled "The Worst Mother's Day Gifts to Avoid." I always like reading these sorts of articles to see what it was that made the list and to make sure I didn't fall into them (even though I usually do not) in my gift buying for my Mother and my Mother-in-law. And lo and behold, what was the last item on the list but the following:
"Nothing. Dads this message is for you. Just because, you know, she's not your Mom (she's only helping you raise your beautiful kids), doesn't mean you should forget her on this special day. Have a heart and show your lady how much you adore her and how much you appreciate the amazing job she's doing as a Mom."

Ah, yes. The conversation where Mr. Darcy said to me that he didn't have to buy me a Mother's Day present because I am not his mother right back at the forefront. Evidently this article shows that he's not the only husband out there with this thought process, but I can't say it makes me feel any better. The temptation to email him a link to the article was almost overwhelming, but I restrained myself. I figured the email I forwarded him last week that was from a place I've purchased gifts before, contained a coupon for 20% off, and told him 2 items that would be nice for mother's day, if the girls were interested was probably enough of a hit over the head that a present from my children at the very least was expected. While I thought I was over the his comment, I find myself realizing more and more that I am not over it at all.

It's really the lack of appreciation inherent in his thought process that bothers me and the fact that every Mother's Day that I've had since the girls have been born has been this way. Last year, I cooked my own breakfast after asking if we could go out and Mr. Darcy offered me left over eggs that he had cooked for the girls and then I had to tell him point blank that we were going out to dinner because I wasn't going to cook dinner for everyone on Mother's Day. We ended up going to his favorite restaurant at the time, Mimi's Cafe. The girls got me a card and a copy of a DVD that we already owned along with a box of Junior Mints. Nothing (other than dinner and getting to sleep in a little bit, which is at least something) from Mr. Darcy. The 1st year the girls were born, I think I got a card from the girls but that was it in the way of Mother's Day celebration. I find myself truly expecting that there will be nothing for Mother's Day this year as well despite the conversations and the not so subtle hints of the email. Fuel added to this fire is the fact that Bill was supposed to go on a charity golf trip today but it turns out that they were somehow scheduled for tomorrow instead. It's for work, so I can't say no you can't go. The man has to network and all that, but he couldn't figure out why no one wanted to go Friday and even more so for Saturday. Then he got home and made the comment that no one seems to want to go on Saturday because it's Mother's Day weekend. A part of me wanted to shout "no? really? why wouldn't they want to go? Their wives aren't their mothers." And that was when I realized that I was 100% not ok with things and that my annual mantra of "maybe he'll figure it out when he sees that year after year not only do the girls get him Father's Day present, but so do I" really wasn't cutting it.

This is not to say that my husband does not redeem himself in other ways. He is, in fact, a very loving and doting father, and he tries to help around the house by paying bills, taking out the trash, sometimes doing laundry, and helping with the girls. Yet I still can't get over this bit about Mother's Day. I will just have to let it go. And there is time still for him to show me otherwise as Mother's Day is not until Sunday, but I dread the prospect of that not being the case. Time may not really cure all wounds as they like to say, but at least it will make me more forgetful about it. Anyway, my father sent me a very sweet Mother's Day card in the mail the day before yesterday which I rather enjoyed and have up in the kitchen.

On the Quest for the Big Girl Bed front, Angelfish has a 99% shot of getting her Big Girl Bed this weekend, but Ladybug most likely will not be getting hers. I hate to do it this way, but Ladybug had 3 accidents yesterday and the school put her in a pullup because of it... which was wet when she got home. I told her this morning that if she kept her underpants dry and clean all day today she could get her Big Girl Bed this weekend still. Angelfish asked about her Big Girl Bed and I told her that as long as she kept her underpants dry and clean today that she would definitely get her bed. She's very excited. If Ladybug can't get with the program, maybe the fact that she doesn't get her bed will get her motivated.

This weekend appears to be "off" from training as I won't get next week's training schedule until Sunday. So I plan to sleep in the best I can on Saturday, but of course I am fully at the mercy of when the little bits decide to wake up. Then there's grocery shopping, getting an oil change and regular maintenance on the car, a costco run, laundry, and setting up at least one Big Girl Bed. Mr. Darcy will most likely be leaving around 6 am for the golf tourney and not returning until 3 pm at the earliest, so getting all the errands and chores done will be up to me with the ladybugs. Let's hope they are in a flexible mood tomorrow!

And for all of you Mom's out there, Happy Mother's Day!!!


  1. Believe me Kate you have made your point about Mother's Day. You will be getting gifts, cards, and appreciation on Mother's Day this year and every future year. In return, I hope that you will let go of the obsession of me not meeting your Mother's Day expectations over the past 2 years. I appreciate that you get me gifts from you and the girls on Father's Day every year, but honestly I don't need them and don't expect them. Perhaps that is why I don't place as much emphasis on getting these things for you on your parallel holiday - because I don't feel the need for them myself. But I now realize how important this holiday is to you and will be sure to honor you this year and on Mother's days in the future.

    I am also not planning on playing golf tomorrow at G'ville. I didn't really want to sacrifice my Saturday for this, and have not found a client to play with which would compel me to go. I would much rather be with you and the girls - Mother's Day weekend or not - so that's where I'll be.

  2. For the record, it's not about the material presents. It's about the appreciation.

    Ah yes, dear readers, this is the wave of the future, "discussions" with your spouse via internet.