After 2 days of rest and beginning to get restless yesterday afternoon, I went back to the pool this morning (with the blessings of my Coach who made me promise her before I left Miami that I would not exercise other than walking with or playing with my children until she gave me the go ahead). It was a pretty easy swim - 1000m. I wasn't supposed to swim hard, so I didn't. Instead I tried to focus on my stroke and thought about what I could do to make it stronger. I'm thinking paddles for swimming to increase resistance and perhaps some weight training. I'm genetically cursed to weak, somewhat flabby tricepts, and have been my entire life. But, I bet some tricept and bicept training along with shoulder, chest and upper back work would not only will my arms look better but also make me a better swimmer. I'm a good swimmer as it is, but if I could be super fast then perhaps it would make it easier to get a start on the other 2 sports since I'm not nearly as good at them.
I also decided that I really want to focus on my running mechanics and improve my running capabilities. It is the sport of the 3 that is my least favorite (as I've discussed previously in this blog), and so I must (as my friend Ryan says) make it my new favorite. It will take some doing, but I will have to do it. I almost feel as though it is silly and that I should focus on my bike before the run because it's the longest leg of the 3. So you might say I am conflicted.
Speaking of conflicted, there is also the buyer's remorse that I've been suffering over my 70.3 entry. But this morning, I decided that the entry fee is a decent amount of money as is the time that I spent figuring out a hotel situation for the race and that is good enough of a reason to sally forth. Plus, it will keep me training and the worst that could happen is that I DNF, which would result in very mopey Kate and probably some sad sappy blogging entries. It's almost as though I was focused on the TNT fundraising goal and the goal of doing the Olympic to the point that when I finished and it was as difficult as it was that I just didn't know what to do or think. Well, I have new resolve. I will do the 70.3! I was fearful of the Olympic distance when I started out and 12 weeks later, there I was finishing it nearly attaining all of my goals. I have 20 weeks until the 70.3 so at this point I have set my goals... they may look familiar, but remember 6 months ago I couldnt' run 2 minutes without agony... A) Finish in the time allotted for the race in an upright position with a smile on my face and without vomiting at any point before, during or after the race. B) Finish in the time allotted for the race in an upright position with a smile on my face. C) Finish in the time alloted for the race in an upright position. D) Finish in the time allowed for the race.
I think these are realistic, attainable goals and with the help of my TNT friends who are crazy enough to do this along with me and my Coach, I should be just fine and dandy. And no, I don't think I'm underachieving by not setting an actual time goal other than the "time allotted"... although you can tell that it passed through my mind. At this point, I will be conquering the fear of failure (that perennial old friend that my best will not be good enough) and doing the absolutely most physically strenuous thing I will have ever done in my life. A 1.2 mile swim, a 56 mile bike and a 13.1 mile run for a total of 70.3 is no laughing matter. Nothing to scoff at and throw bravado at. Success for me will be in the finishing... literally going in one year from staring at my watch when I ran counting down the seconds to the end of my 2 minute run so I could walk for a minute before starting to run again to finishing an IronMan 70.3. Pure amazement and awe will be in store - primarily from me and everyone who knows me. Years of casual gym workouts to a half IronMan is no joke. And besides, I'm attempting to turn over a new leaf to accept and be proud of what I do. To, as inspired by a post on another blog earlier today, live more in the present moment and to enjoy it.
When I succeed, if I determine I want to do another 70.3 then I'll worry about improving my time. But whatever I do, do NOT let me agree to a full IronMan. Maybe when the girls go off to college, but not before then. A full IronMan is definitely crazy talk... 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, and 26.1 mile run... if I mention it at any time before my children have turned 18 and are out of the house at college, please have me committed. You will notice I do not rule it out all together... I just postpone its consideration until I have done a ton more triathlons, my children are not needing me to attend functions and raise them (at least not as much), and I will have more free time (hopefully) on my hands.
In other news, Angelfish has been a potty training champ. She's been keeping the bed dry while wearing underpants at night for almost 2 solid weeks now. She had a little mishap this morning in that she got to the bathroom but not onto the potty when she couldn't hold it anymore, but she was in the process of doing the "right thing." Ladybug on the other hand has reverted a bit, which I expected since she has a new teacher at school and change during potty training is not a helpful friend. She's been doing ok at school, but then having an accident in the evening here and there. Plus, I don't think she's quite ready for nighttime bladder control. She will sleep through the night if she's in a pull up but it won't be dry in the morning. And if she's in underpants she is waking up in time to get out of the bed, but instead of going into the bathroom she comes into our room to wake us up and by the time that happens, she's gone in her pants. Ladybug keeps asking about her big girl bed, but I had told her we needed to practice keeping our underpants dry a little longer first. They're about to be 3 at the end of June, and how I wished they were going to both be potty trained by then... there is still time though. Perhaps they will surprise us.
I find myself also thinking up ways to try to raise more money for cancer research. Mr. Darcy isn't really on board for another Team in Training season just yet. He wants a breather, which I understand, but I really don't want to stop trying to make a difference in the hopes that at least $1 of what I raise will help find a cure or help lighten the load for a cancer patient and his/her family. My current thought is to get people to sponsor me for training for the 70.3. Like you would for a walk-a-thon for a little kid - 5 cents to $1 per mile I train and race. I could have people sponsor me, and then when I complete it all and tally all the miles, they could write a check out the The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society for the amount and send me the checks. I'd then give the checks to the local branch here. It's an idea, but I'm not sure it would work well. People, while well intentioned, tend to commit to something and then not follow through. If you have thoughts on the matter, please leave me a comment.
Oh and thank you for the comments telling me not to be so hard on myself. I am working on it, and you all are right. I did do something amazing in finishing my race in less than 4 hours while in an upright position and with a smile on my face! It also made me feel great that people told me that I've inspired them too - my neighbor has started running and riding a bike, Angela's sister told me she was inspired to do her Breast Cancer Walk because I did the TNT program, and friends have told me that I am amazing for doing what I did. It's funny how others perceive things that I do not. I think I said this yesterday, but I am working on breaking that tendency to be amazed and awed by others but not by myself... even if I am doing the same or similar things. So thank you all!
Other than that, Spring is in the air and the pharmacy is out of my prescription allergy medicine and I took my last one on Monday evening. The over the counter stuff just doesn't cut it. So I am hopeful that they will have received the new shipment today. Spring would be much more lovely if it weren't for all the pollen!