The Joys of Packing
Friday evening, Mr. Darcy and I decided that we were just going to relax with the kids and then go to bed early and worry about packing for our trip on Saturday. Luckily I had made a massive "what to pack" list to cover everything from the birthday stuff to the chance of riding our bikes together while on vacation. That's right. I'm in St. Augustine in my bedroom using the wi fi while Mr. Darcy sleeps and I'm looking at Aerodite on the right side of the room and Mr. Darcy's yet unnamed bike on the left side.
Let's just say it was well needed recovery from the week. Mr. Darcy had his insane deadline and then was shadowed by high school students on Friday. I had crazy things going on at work, and then discover that my glowing review resulted in a whopping 1.477% raise for the year (which I guess is better than last year, which was a glowing review and 0% raise). I am thrilled to have a job in this economy, please do not misunderstand that. There are all sorts of horror stories out there... some of them from people I love and care about, so I am not looking a gift horse in the mouth. But I was not in the best of moods.
But hanging out with the little ladies, having a grilled steak dinner prepared by Mr. Darcy, and one or two Mike's Hard Lemonades and going to bed early were the cure. This morning, the girls greeted us (well, mainly me - Mr. Darcy is still recovering the poor guy) at 7:15 am. We set to work packing their suitcases (I had them pick out their outfits and lovies for the trip since we couldn't bring all 35 or so of their stuffed animals - stuffed animals I swore they would never own more of 2 of but that's another story). And then I packed everything else we needed. Mr. Darcy set out on a 25 mile bike ride (part of my father's day present since I will be letting him sleep in tomorrow) after waking. I was quite industrious really. By the time he got back (1 hour and 45 minutes later), I only had my own clothes to pack still, a shower to take, and had done 3 of the 5 loads of laundry... load 4 was in the washer. Our mini-van hasn't been that full since we moved from Atlanta to Orlando, let me tell you.
Amazingly, I can walk around just fine despite the 214 squats I did yesterday morning. I have to admit to you though that standing up from a sitting position (although oddly enough not squatting) and bending my leg as though to sit on my heels is extremely painful. Even 1,000 mg of tylenol didn't do much for it. But it's not such a terrible pain. It reminds me of 214 glorious squats that I didn't realize I'd be able to do.
A Decision or Two
On the way to the beach, Mr. Darcy and I chatted about things.
I don't want to be so responsible in conforming to others rules that I miss out on having a better story to tell. And I often feel like I do. I get jealous of Mr. Darcy coming home from work and playing frivolously with the kids while I cook (this is not to say that he doesn't grill out if I ask him to, or pitch in when I have Junior League, etc. it's just that I do the large majority of the cooking when we are both in the house at the same time). I work extra to try to impress or be super quick in responding, and then am sorry that I didn't get to play with the kids before having to cook dinner because now we're all hungry. Or not wearing my swim suit to the splash pad so I can frolic in the water with the little ladies because none of the other parents are doing it and then wishing I was running and splashing and laughing too. I decided to make my own rules now. No, I won't be throwing all of my responsibilities away. I'll still be a good and capable employee, but I will draw the line. I will have that drink at lunch with a friend when I feel like it, even if I have to go back to work. I won't get tipsy, but what's one drink? I will play with my kids even if I'm the nutty Mom running through the splash pad. This life is short. If we're lucky, our children grow up, leave home and start their own families, while we grow old. There will be a time when Angelfish stops coloring picture after picture for me and stops drawing a million pictures of her Mommy (just because she loves me) a day. There will be a time when Ladybug not only doesn't want me to play with her hair (which is most of the time already) but also doesn't want to cuddle up with me on the sofa to read stories. Do I want to miss these times because I was too busy following the expected? No. No I don't. So I'm going to start making my own rules.
My best friend Angela died at 34. One of the things she told me and her good friend Liz was that if she beat cancer she was never going to work another day in her job. She was going to find a way to be a writer like she always wanted. My friend Doug lies in a hospital bed after having a 2nd bone marrow transplant after the 1st one failed, his kidneys are failing and he's on dialysis through a line in his chest because they couldnt' do it in his groin because of the skin break down he is having, and he has pulmonary adema too, and the doctors have said that most likely he will not survive. Life is too damn short, and I have this nagging feeling that I'm miss too much. I'm not sure where I'm going or what I'm doing in this life of mine, but goodness knows that I'm going to listen to my heart a bit more as to what's important at that moment and that day. I'm convince that when we listen to our hearts that is where we here God talk to us and reveal a little bit of His plan... even if we don't realize it at the time.
The last decision is less weighty by far from the others. But it's triathlon related. Mr. Darcy is wholly loving his bike riding these days and it makes me so happy. Jealous because he's been getting more time on the bike than I have, but still happy that he is exercising and loving it. We're going to be finding a nice balance somehow so that I get more training in than I have been. I'm not quite sure yet how this will work, but we'll figure it out. In the 4 weeks leading up to the Moss Park Tri (after vacation), I am going to get the kinks worked out but I'm going to do Moss Park as a sprint instead of an Oly Distance. I haven't done a sprint in quite awhile, and I'm going to do my best to do it full out.... like, well, a sprint for each event. I may kill myself in the process, or blow up on the run (but at least it will just be 3.2 miles for a blow up), but I'm going to see what I can do. And then, then I will do my tri in Clermont 9 weeks later as an Oly and I'll see what I can do there.
I've brought my Triathlete's Training Bible with me to the beach. Of course, I've also brought some other reading material along too. But I'm going to set up my training schedule for the next 13-14 weeks. And then I'm going to stick to it like (to borrow this phrase from my dear departed Angela) spandex to a fat woman.
To be quite honest (as you all have seen) the past few weeks have not been very training intensive for me. The Zone and Paleo type eating I am doing has been working its magic though as I noticed my legs look thinner to me (and I double checked with Mr. Darcy and he said that they do, not to mention a pair of pants I had on yesterday were looser than the last time I wore them). But I miss my training. I miss the early morning hours where it's me and my bike on the open road, or running when as the world slowly awakes from its slumber. And I'm ready. Ready to take it all back. Ready to be a bit more selfish and less flexible, to toe the line, and see what happens. Carpe Diem and all that jazz.
I also decided I will eat my paleo zone way the rest of my days. I feel great. I ate pasta for dinner the other night and felt disgusting afterwards... and I didn't over eat. I even ate as much lean meat as I could to balance things out. And I felt, for lack of a better way to describe it, as though my insides were unclean. And it helps a great deal that on a whim while picking out clothes to bring on vacation, I tried on a pair of capri pants that 4 weeks ago I couldn't even button and looked absolutely disgusting on me, and now they fit perfectly. Fruits and veggies always have been my friends, but now they're my best friends. : )
I even brough pots and pans and the contents of our refrigerator with us to our rental beach condo. And our list for the rest of the groceries is quite paleo zone, thank you very much. Other than the resulting birthday cake of course. But I have a feeling, I'll be having a small piece and be just fine with a small piece.
And now... now I'm going to bed. And when I wake, I'm going to spend my vacation enjoying my time with my adorable children and wonderful husband. I have to work on Monday (I am back up for a seminar that is scheduled for Tuesday in DC, so it's a be available just in case sort of thing), but 8:30 to 4:30 with a full hour for lunch... and if I can access the wi fi poolside and/or on the beach, that's where you'll find me laptop and cellphone in hand. The moment it becomes 4:30, I'll officially be on vacation.
Angelfish has been taking pictures of things with my camera. It's a cool perspective on things. The world from the eyes of an almost 4 year old. I may do a post of some of them when I return. I'll definitely let you know how the Disney surprise goes, and vacation in general. I'm hoping to get a ride or two in and a run or two (or maybe a walk if my legs continue to hurt from the squats), but it's harder to do on a family vacation with your husband's immediate family and their families. Especially, when he's still recovering from working a full 24 hours. But I'll be following my new primary rule - listen to your heart... at all times.