Thank God that this morning was much more peaceful than yesterday! I didn't get to swim this morning, but I'm hopeful for a lunch time swim again today. If I did it yesterday, I should be able to get it done today. (Please Fate, turn your head from that little comment. )
Last night as I laid the girls down to bed, I asked them to make good choices for the morning. I asked them to choose to listen to their Mommy, to use the potty and get dressed nicely, and to wake up and choose to be happy. I told them that I would work on listening to what they said too and that I would work on being more patient. Yesterday afternoon was free of kicking and hitting, but I was short on patience and they were not listening overly well. We had a nice time watching "Word World" before bed though.
Then once they were in bed, I prayed. While I am not a big proselytizer, I need to share what happened next because it's as though God is talking to me. I asked for the strength to be more patient, to not be so quick to get frustrated, and to be shown the path to be a better parent. I was not feeling like the greatest Mom last night. Then I opened my Bible randomly. I do this from time to time and every time I read something that makes me feel like God is talking to me. Sort of like Gabriel Betteredge (the House Steward) does with Robinson Crusoe in The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins, if you've ever read it. (And if you haven't and like mysteries, I really recommend it. It was one of the first mysteries written.)
What I read said to seek solace in and find strength in God. That reminded me of the video that I saw last week of Team Hoyt doing an Iron Man on the Blog "My Life as a TriMommy." Then this morning I received an email from my old hairdresser in Atlanta and it too ended with the quote from Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." If that isn't a neon sign from God, I'm not really sure what is.
So to say the least this morning I am feeling blessed despite not getting to swim. I enjoyed my time with Angelfish and Ladybug this morning and am feeling thankful to have them in my life. Mr. Darcy appears to be missing me today because he left me a voice mail message while I was out taking the girls to daycare, then sent me an email with a picture of him from his cellphone saying "Thinking of You, "and then another with a picture of the conference room where he'll be spending his day of meetings. It is good to be loved.
I also discovered in my sleep that I'm upset with the owner of the bike shop I frequent. He is a nice person but a bit of a cycling snob and has a high opinion of himself. A few months back he wanted to swim with me so I could help him improve. I agreed and gave him the time and place of my next swim workout. He was shocked that I swam "over there" and I told him that I live "over there" (which I had told him several times before). I asked him didn't he ever wonder why I was always saying to him that it would take me about half an hour to get to his shop. His response was (and you can tell that this has bothered me subconsciously because I remember all of these details): "Well, you swim slow, bike slow and run slow, so I figure you just drive slow too."
At the time I just let it pass because these are the types of things he says from time to time. He also will ask you how much you weigh and tells you if he thinks you are losing weight. Evidently he also made some comment to Coach that the wetsuits wouldn't fit her or I because they'd be too small. So, he thinks we're fat too. In my case, fat and slow. Let me tell you how tempted I am to burst his ego with the fact that the wetsuit that worked for him is a WOMEN's size 12-16. He'd probably refuse to wear it afterwards, so I'm not going to do it because I'm trying to be the better person. But I find it funnier than can be. Normally it wouldn't be amusing but with the way his personality is, it makes it very funny.
He's supposed to ride with us during the 60 mile bike portion of our 60 bike/10 run brick this Sunday. Perhaps that's what set my subconscious off. In my sleep I told him what was what and that I could swim circles around him. In the dream, I used some words that my mother would call "sailor talk" to do so. I laughed about the dream when I remembered it yesterday while swimming, but it also told me something. Even my subconscious thinks that I can do the 70.3 and I'm not about to let anyone tell me differently.
So perhaps this is a morning of revelations. One much more peaceful than yesterday's. And I still plan to swim... at lunch time. (Update: I did my swim at lunch... 36:34 for 2000m! This eating all my calories thing must work.)