Now, I'm not actually sure that I would implode or whether I would explode, but I'd hope for the implosion so as to not make the mess that explosions tend to make. But this morning, I am feeling as though I will implode at some point in the not too distant future. I apologize ahead of time if this post is a bit of a gripe session/mental health correction. The implosion would not be the fault of others, just of myself. I have a tendency to be a bit of a perfectionist - which is a bit funny when you realize just how slow of a triathlete I am... of course, I am constantly reminding myself that I went from where I was to where I am now in less than a year and I've only been actually doing triathlons since January 2009. Being a perfectionist is hard on one's psyche. You forget about all the good things you do and only see the flaws or where the good should be improved or better or well, perfect. It's a mess is what it is. I realize it's not healthy and that unless someone is going to die because of my imperfection (which is not likely), it really doesn't matter. Yet somehow I work myself up to these implosion scenarios about twice a year. I think I very well am approaching that point and am working to defuse my little bomb.
First, I'll talk about the good stuff before getting to all the ways that I am not reaching my insane standards of perfection. We had a nice weekend.
Friday at Disney was fun, although I overslept and thus did not get to my swim workout that morning. When we did get there, the girls and I melted down after standing in the blazing sun for the castle party show that we always have to see. (Mr. Darcy and Ladybug are obsessed with it. Ladybug cried when we said we'd see the princesses first and then come back to the point that we watched the show before we did anything else.) They were messes and I became a mess. 4 minutes in the a/c, we were all sane again and sweet as pie.
The rest of the day was a lot of fun, until about 8 when the afternoon rain showed signs that it was not going to let up in time for the parade and fireworks and the children melted down again. So, having seen the show, met the princesses, ate lunch, rode It's a Small World, the Carousel, the Carousel of Progress, saw the Laugh Floor with Mike Wizowski (and Angelfish was the audience version of Boo for the comedy... super cute), played in Donald's boat, the girls rode their 1st rollercoaster - Goofy's Barnstorm (which made me a little nauseas... Angelfish loved it and Ladybug did not), had frozen lemonade, later had ice cream, saw the Hall of Presidents (well, Ladybug and Mr. Darcy saw the show in its entirety, Angelfish had to be removed), wandered a bit, and finally tired we went home.
Ladybug was sweet because in her full fledged meltdown about not getting to see fireworks in the car, I ended up sitting in the 3rd row of seats to hold her hand and Angelfish's hand, but I didn't have a seat belt on. After I asked Mr. Darcy to drive carefully so I wouldn't end up through the windshield, Ladybug insisted I put on my seat belt so I could be safe (all through tears). I put it part way on (it's a 2 part process that keeps me from holding hands comfortably if fully secured), and she insisted that I put it all the way on because she loved me and wanted me to be safe.
Saturday I had my Provisional Junior League Retreat, which was interesting and I enjoyed getting out and meeting some nice ladies and learning about what Junior League does in the community, etc. I'm not sure why but I was sweating alot. It may because of the training and muscle rebuilding... I'm not sure, but hopefully no one else noticed because I had rings under my arms and I was wearing a sleeveless top. Don't want to be remembered as the sweaty one.
After the retreat, I came home and played with the lovely ladies who were in an interesting form since they didn't have a nap during their day with Daddy. Ladybug tattled on Mr. Darcy without realizing it and I found out he gave them cookies and a lollipop all in one day. Insanity, but then no sleep and sugar are always (NOT) a good idea for 3 year olds.
Then Mr. Darcy and I had date night. We were both so exhausted and have been so busy that neither of us had planned anything. We went out in our shorts, t-shirts and flip flops and didn't even care. We had sushi which was good, but the service has kind of gone down hill. Never good. Then we tried to go to a movie but nothing caught both of our attention. Mr. Darcy suggested putt-putt but I wasn't really in the mood for that either. Bowling is an arm and a leg near us, so that was out too. So, we wandered around Best Buy, bought some video game, and then went for ice cream. We ate ice cream and chatted until we were getting eaten by bugs, so we went home. We are just wild and crazy, let me tell you. I think I fell asleep shortly after the babysitter left.
Sunday I woke early (or at least attempted to) and was out of the house for my 8 mile run around 6:45. I really did not want to be running. I wanted to be back in my bed all snuggled up with Mr. Darcy. I even told myself that I didn't care how I got the 8 miles done, whether running, walking or crawling, but that I was already on the road so I might as well get them done. I ran almost the entire 8 miles, probably walking about 0.3 or 0.4 miles of it. The walking was only because my cleaning kit for the camelbak has not yet arrived so I had a bottle of gatorade in the pack part of the camelbak along with my gels and I couldn't quite figure out how to take the gels and drink out of the camelbak, eat and drink, and put everything back without walking. Thus the walking. I was pretty proud of myself for 1) drinking and eating on the run even if I was technically walking at the time because I often ignore nutrition on the run... it sure makes you feel better when you use it; and 2) going 8 miles because it was the longest run of my life (shows you what a couch potato I've been leading up to now); and 3) running to begin with when I REALLY just wanted to stay in bed. I got home and Angelfish was up watching "Word World" with her Daddy, Ladybug was still in bed. A 13:12 pace for the run, which wasn't bad since I didn't want to be running, I walked during fueling, and my left leg muscles seized up from the end of mile 1 to the start of mile 4 and I ignored it the best I could, all while keeping myself in zone 2 for the run.
After cleaning up and having shower friends in Angelfish and Ladybug who jumped in with me, and getting us all dressed, we headed to play tennis with the little ladies. It was adorable. They loved trying to hit the ball with their new Dora tennis raquets that Mr. Darcy bought them. Afterwards was lunch and shopping for new sneakers for the girls and some clothes for the Fall (since the sales were on), then to Sports Authority for cleats (size 10c - super cute... the cleats are pink!) for soccer and another soccer ball (they each need one for practice). Home to watch a little tennis and so I could put together the grocery list, and then Mr. Darcy and Ladybug did our grocery shopping and brought home Publix subs for dinner while Angelfish and I stayed home and played. Bubble baths for the girls and then bed time. Some meltdowns here and there because the girls didn't nap, but at least there were no parental meltdowns except over the fact that Sports Authority didn't have a size 9c for Angelfish. We bought the 10c and are keeping the receipt in case I can find a pair on line between now and the 1st soccer practice in 2 weeks.
This morning it took forever to get the girls ready for school. Ladybug didn't want to go so she refused to get up, get dressed, used the potty, etc. She was so contrary that when she did pee in the potty and I congratulated her, she told me she hadn't gone. I only heard her empty her entire bladder, but whatever. Angelfish was pretty good about getting ready, but when we got to school she melted down because she didn't want to go to the new room, she wanted to be with Ms. W. By the time I left, she was ok. Ladybug on the other hand was right as rain and talked with her new teacher and friends. So, this morning's swim workout hasn't happened. If I get a chance to take lunch today (I usually don't on Mondays... they're busy!), I'm going to swim. So, here I sit in my swim suit and workout clothes - just in case.
The weekend fun and errands may have fueled part of my perfectionism issues. First and foremost is the fact that lately with all the training I'm doing, I don't spend as much time as I could otherwise with my girls. I miss spending some of that weekend time, especially. Thus, feelings of being a not so good Mommy have surfaced. Second, I'm tired every night. Heck, most days by 3 pm, I'm tired and could use a nap (yes, I think I'm not eating enough). That makes me feel like I'm not being the greatest of wives either because I'm sleeping and not spending time with Mr. Darcy. Third, I skipped my training, which in light of the not so good Mommy feelings would seem to settle me down on that issue, which in some ways they do, but then they raise the "how are you going to finish the race if you don't do the training?" Not like I'm skipping training left and right, but we're talking about the silly pressure I put on myself about things. So then I'm worrying about whether I'm training enough. Then I start worrying about my weight. If I'm not training enough am I going to gain weight? But, then I'm not really eating enough daily as it is, so am I gaining pounds because of muscle development or because my body thinks I'm starving? Why am I not eating enough/right? Because I just don't get hungry that often. And then lately when I'm eating I'm not always eating what I should because I'm stressing and cookies taste better when your stressed. So when I am eating, I'm not eating overly great (although it's probably better than most people... except for the cookies and/or ice cream). Then on top of that, I'm adding Junior League which while I think is very important for me as a person so that I can have friends, be social and be involved in community service is yet another thing that will take me away from my children and my husband. Yet the triathlons and the Junior League potentially make me happier and a happier me is a better wife and Mommy. Then there's the fact that I would like nicer clothes so I look appropriate for Junior League meetings and I haven't shopped in forever except for here and there and don't have a great wardrobe, but then I don't want to spend money especially since I'm not losing weight although Mr. Darcy mentioned that I look really good and my muscle tone is seriously more improved. Not to mention that I have all these new medicines and vitamins to be taking and I turn 34 on Wednesday and am feeling like an old woman. Mr. Darcy teasingly said I'm like a pharmacy - I have 4 things I take in the morning and 4 other things I take at night. I haven't gotten my blood work back about the Cushing's Disease yet and it's been a week and making me crazy because I just want to know one way or the other, and I'm really hoping that there will be no brain surgery involved or steroids that make you puff up. There's a good bit of prep for a seminar I'm giving in September that I need to do with work, and somehow there just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day which is probably why there are times lately that I just wish the 70.3 was over and done with already. AHHHHH!
I think there is too much in my brain. A good swim might help clear it. If not, maybe tomorrow's 6 mile run will help. If only I had one of those things from the Harry Potter books where you could empty your mind of certain memories, but mine worked for thoughts. That would be lovely... and I bet it would keep human beings from imploding.
In the end, I am still an optimist so I know that all will workout just fine. I just have to keep working on not worrying about it all and just living in the moment. I know this is true, especially when I read posts about cancer treatments, or living (so absolutely amazingly) with the results of a plane crash, or finding out someone you know has an unexpected pain killer addiction. As stated in another blog I read: "Life is Good. LiveStrong!" Or as I sometimes say to remind myself of these very thoughts: God doesn't give us what we can't handle... I just sometimes wish God didn't think so highly of me! And really, what I'm handling right now could always be so much worse. No matter how bad it gets it can always be worse, and no matter how good it gets my little pea brain finds a way to think of a way it could be better.
It is true: Life is Good, even with forecasts of implosion.
Showing posts with label weekend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weekend. Show all posts
Monday, August 24, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Fun, Fireworks, and Mondays
The 4th of July weekend was, all in all, a good one. We had a lot of fun, despite the obstinancy of little Ms. Ladybug on several occasions and a few non-functioning sets of "listening ears" for Ms. Angelfish here and there. And now it is back to work as it's Monday, yet again.
Friday I woke early and got on the bike for what was intended to be a 40 mile bike and a 3 mile run. I rode a little in the neighborhood before hitting the closed road near the neighborhood, which was fun because no one was up yet. I even rode the traffic circle, which I'm always wanting to do but too fearful for my life most days. Very fun! At first my legs were stiff (due to my lovely stiff back), but they eventually loosened up right around mile 10. Then it really started getting fun until around mile 18, when I began having... ummm... seat issues. This is a bit of a delicate matter that many female cyclists have issues with and we tend to go through different seats trying to fix the problem. By mile 23, I was in such pain that I could not get in aero without involuntarily starting to cry from the pain. So, I stopped and left a message for Coach asking if she had any suggestions (other than purchasing a different bike seat as that wouldn't help in the midst of my ride). I took a breather for a bit - probably about 10 minutes - to let the area decompress a little and then started again. The first length of the loop I probably only pedalled about 60% of the way trying to get myself comfortable again. I don't know what happened but either my brain turned off the pain censor or my nerve endings had it and weren't functioning anymore, but all of a sudden I could pedal and get back into aero. I couldn't go super fast, but I could go at an average of 15 mph.
Right at 37.5 miles, I am doing great and excited about the fact that this is the longest ride of my life (the next longest being 30 miles) and that I'm almost at the 40 mile mark and I'm going 19 mph and sustaining it when I hear SHHHHUUUUUUSSSSHHHH from my front tire and see a rock bouncing away. Yup. Flat tire. At this point, I'm just tired and as I get off the bike my nether regions start complaining again. I decide I'll fix the flat tomorrow and call Mr. Darcy to come and get me. After I call a nice married couple who I've seen riding on the closed road a time or two stop to help and chat. They were wonderful and the husband changed my flat for me. It was great and I got to watch (since I'm still a newbie to the tire changing techiniques) how to change a tire again. He finished right as Mr. Darcy pulled up. I told Mr. Darcy the situation and he said "do you want to ride home to finish the 40 miles?" He said he really didn't mind, so I "raced" him home. I got all 40 miles in and felt great - until I got off the bike and had some uncomfortable pain due to my seat issues and decided that there would be no 3 mile run. Not because my legs and lungs couldn't handle it, but because I was afraid my other areas couldn't handle it.
And right then Coach called with the news that she would email me with the name of the bike seat that two other ladies on the team have used with seeming success and that comes with a 90 day (or 180 day, not sure which) return policy... it doesn't fix your seat issues, you get all your money back. Not cheap from what I understand, but if it can prevent the excruciating pain I was experiencing, then well worth the money.
But I made up for not going on the run with at trip to Sea World. Walking around carrying a 30 pound child should count for something!
Saturday we played around the house, went to the pool, took naps, and headed to see the fireworks. Ladybug woke up ornery from her nap - insisting she was right about everything and that she was in charge. Not so much fun. Luckily she settled down before the fireworks, and we had a nice time seeing the pretty explosions. Even Angelfish enjoyed them a little bit. She admitted they were pretty but declared that they were just too loud for her to like them. Angelfish has very sensitive ears and extremely good hearing, so fireworks are not fun for her delicate ears - even when Mommy or Daddy cover her ears while she covers them too. Next year, I'm thinking industrial strength ear plugs.
Sunday I woke early and contended with small people out of bed at 5:45 am (much to early for them... I was about to go run), got them a little bit settled, leaving Mr. Darcy in charge and went for a 4 mile run. The chiropractor gave me a little lift to use in my left shoe while my back is a little out of wack still - my right leg is longer at the moment than the left. I had a lot less pain than I have been, although I still had some toward the end. But, I was able to run comfortable at a 12.11 mile pace for the 4 miles. Not fast, I know, but getting faster at least.
Afterwards, we went to the Central Florida Zoo with friends of ours and their little ones. We had a nice time even if it was hot as hades. We got there a little after opening time hoping to avoid the heat. Saw some cool animals, which the girls liked - even the poisonous reptiles section. Ladybug kept saying in an incredulous (but not fearful) voice "it's looking right at me!" about a West African Green Mamba (even when it wasn't). Angelfish liked the blue frogs but was nervous that they might get out of the cage and poison her. She liked the elephants much better. I think they liked their popscicles and the splash pad at the zoo the best, though. Then it was home and naps and Mr. Darcy cleaning the garage out (and deciding to put all of our stuff to donate in the back of my car creating a very cluttered and somewhat stressful environment to my car - although admittedly the garage looks great).
This Monday I returned to the pool. It's a recovery week, so it was only a 1200 m swim. 2 x 100 m of it was breathing every 5 strokes. I had to laugh because the first 2 1/2 lengths of the pool breathing every 5 was ok, but then it would start to burn a little for the rest of the way. But, I was able to do it so I was pleased. And even happier to go back to breathing every 3 strokes like I am accustomed to doing for my 500 m swims. It felt odd to get out of the pool after only 1200 meters, but Coach warned against adding distance or extra exercise to this week since it is supposed to be a recovery week. Tomorrow is a 25 mile bike, so let's hope my seat issues have abated enough to let me handle it!
I hope you all had a wonderful holiday weekend full of fireworks and fun! Now get back to work! HAHAHA!
Friday I woke early and got on the bike for what was intended to be a 40 mile bike and a 3 mile run. I rode a little in the neighborhood before hitting the closed road near the neighborhood, which was fun because no one was up yet. I even rode the traffic circle, which I'm always wanting to do but too fearful for my life most days. Very fun! At first my legs were stiff (due to my lovely stiff back), but they eventually loosened up right around mile 10. Then it really started getting fun until around mile 18, when I began having... ummm... seat issues. This is a bit of a delicate matter that many female cyclists have issues with and we tend to go through different seats trying to fix the problem. By mile 23, I was in such pain that I could not get in aero without involuntarily starting to cry from the pain. So, I stopped and left a message for Coach asking if she had any suggestions (other than purchasing a different bike seat as that wouldn't help in the midst of my ride). I took a breather for a bit - probably about 10 minutes - to let the area decompress a little and then started again. The first length of the loop I probably only pedalled about 60% of the way trying to get myself comfortable again. I don't know what happened but either my brain turned off the pain censor or my nerve endings had it and weren't functioning anymore, but all of a sudden I could pedal and get back into aero. I couldn't go super fast, but I could go at an average of 15 mph.
Right at 37.5 miles, I am doing great and excited about the fact that this is the longest ride of my life (the next longest being 30 miles) and that I'm almost at the 40 mile mark and I'm going 19 mph and sustaining it when I hear SHHHHUUUUUUSSSSHHHH from my front tire and see a rock bouncing away. Yup. Flat tire. At this point, I'm just tired and as I get off the bike my nether regions start complaining again. I decide I'll fix the flat tomorrow and call Mr. Darcy to come and get me. After I call a nice married couple who I've seen riding on the closed road a time or two stop to help and chat. They were wonderful and the husband changed my flat for me. It was great and I got to watch (since I'm still a newbie to the tire changing techiniques) how to change a tire again. He finished right as Mr. Darcy pulled up. I told Mr. Darcy the situation and he said "do you want to ride home to finish the 40 miles?" He said he really didn't mind, so I "raced" him home. I got all 40 miles in and felt great - until I got off the bike and had some uncomfortable pain due to my seat issues and decided that there would be no 3 mile run. Not because my legs and lungs couldn't handle it, but because I was afraid my other areas couldn't handle it.
And right then Coach called with the news that she would email me with the name of the bike seat that two other ladies on the team have used with seeming success and that comes with a 90 day (or 180 day, not sure which) return policy... it doesn't fix your seat issues, you get all your money back. Not cheap from what I understand, but if it can prevent the excruciating pain I was experiencing, then well worth the money.
But I made up for not going on the run with at trip to Sea World. Walking around carrying a 30 pound child should count for something!
Saturday we played around the house, went to the pool, took naps, and headed to see the fireworks. Ladybug woke up ornery from her nap - insisting she was right about everything and that she was in charge. Not so much fun. Luckily she settled down before the fireworks, and we had a nice time seeing the pretty explosions. Even Angelfish enjoyed them a little bit. She admitted they were pretty but declared that they were just too loud for her to like them. Angelfish has very sensitive ears and extremely good hearing, so fireworks are not fun for her delicate ears - even when Mommy or Daddy cover her ears while she covers them too. Next year, I'm thinking industrial strength ear plugs.
Sunday I woke early and contended with small people out of bed at 5:45 am (much to early for them... I was about to go run), got them a little bit settled, leaving Mr. Darcy in charge and went for a 4 mile run. The chiropractor gave me a little lift to use in my left shoe while my back is a little out of wack still - my right leg is longer at the moment than the left. I had a lot less pain than I have been, although I still had some toward the end. But, I was able to run comfortable at a 12.11 mile pace for the 4 miles. Not fast, I know, but getting faster at least.
Afterwards, we went to the Central Florida Zoo with friends of ours and their little ones. We had a nice time even if it was hot as hades. We got there a little after opening time hoping to avoid the heat. Saw some cool animals, which the girls liked - even the poisonous reptiles section. Ladybug kept saying in an incredulous (but not fearful) voice "it's looking right at me!" about a West African Green Mamba (even when it wasn't). Angelfish liked the blue frogs but was nervous that they might get out of the cage and poison her. She liked the elephants much better. I think they liked their popscicles and the splash pad at the zoo the best, though. Then it was home and naps and Mr. Darcy cleaning the garage out (and deciding to put all of our stuff to donate in the back of my car creating a very cluttered and somewhat stressful environment to my car - although admittedly the garage looks great).
This Monday I returned to the pool. It's a recovery week, so it was only a 1200 m swim. 2 x 100 m of it was breathing every 5 strokes. I had to laugh because the first 2 1/2 lengths of the pool breathing every 5 was ok, but then it would start to burn a little for the rest of the way. But, I was able to do it so I was pleased. And even happier to go back to breathing every 3 strokes like I am accustomed to doing for my 500 m swims. It felt odd to get out of the pool after only 1200 meters, but Coach warned against adding distance or extra exercise to this week since it is supposed to be a recovery week. Tomorrow is a 25 mile bike, so let's hope my seat issues have abated enough to let me handle it!
I hope you all had a wonderful holiday weekend full of fireworks and fun! Now get back to work! HAHAHA!
Monday, June 22, 2009
The Weekend and its End
The weekend, I have to say, was downright lovely. After a rather serious talk about life, etc. with Mr. Darcy Friday night I eventually had folded the laundry, put it away and got some shut eye. Saturday morning I woke to run the longest I have ever run in my life... 8 entire miles without stopping. It took me 1:49.56 to complete, but in defense of my slowness I purposely ran slowly to ensure that my back could handle it so I could, in fact, complete all 8 miles and not be completely stiff for the rest of the day. I hope to get faster as my back gets better. From Friday's chiro appointment, I learned that the reason I sometimes have felt like my upper body is angled like this slash / is because my sacrum/hip has for some reason rotated that way and all these adjustments are not only to help with my lower back situation at large but to un-rotate me. Perhaps this is why I was having such pains in my legs when running... the aha moment arrives.
I was completely thrilled with my run even if averaging over 13 minutes a mile. I really didn't care (although now I am wanting to be faster... always the little perfectionist despite not being a natural runner... or even liking to run until about 2 months ago when I decided it was acceptable and sometimes even relaxing although I haven't hit the "fun" part yet). The 2nd 4 miles actually seemed easier than the 1st 4 miles and I got to a point where I wanted to run faster but when I would I'd hit zone 3 on the HR monitor and try to reign myself back in to protect my back, etc. I did have a little bit of leg pain while running, but it wasn't terrible and easily enough ignorable. So I was pleased as punch.
And, I had gotten up at 5:30 am (starting while the sun was down and watched it rise on the run is pretty enjoyable actually) so we had plenty of time to shower, get the girls ready, talk to my parents on the phone and then go to the Winter Park Farmer's Market. It was smaller than I thought it would be, but perfectly enjoyable. I got some good pictures, including one of Ladybug with a yellow pepper that makes me smile (and that I forgot to email to myself to share). But let me tell you... it was hot. Hotter than hot. Hotter than Hades. It was in the 90s that MORNING and only got hotter. When Angelfish, Ladybug, Mr. Darcy and I get very hot, we get ornery. We eventually bought the girls some Italian ice to cool them off and headed to get some lunch. Indoors. Poor Amanda's cheeks were almost as red as her hair. I sometimes forget that she is so fair with her redhair and thus gets hotter a bit faster. It was amusing to hear the guy selling us the Italian Ice tell us that Angelfish was feisty. We blame it on her red hair, but I think it's just her personality.
After lunch we decided to head home. But the girls fell asleep in the car, so we ended up going to Publix. Mr. Darcy napped in the car with the girls (and the air condition blasting) while I went in to order the birthday cakes and the nugget platter for the girls' birthday party coming up this Saturday. I about fell over when I looked at the cake prices... If I had gone with my original plan of 2 separate 1/4 sheet cakes with the princess toys on it that the girls have been asking for for an entire month it would have been $60 for cake. Let's just say that I am not willing to spend $60 on cake for a birthday for two 3 year olds. Sheryl, the woman working at the bakery, was awesome. I still spent $40 on cake, but it was at least a lot more acceptable to me than $60. I want Angelfish and Ladybug to have some individuality with their birthday so I wanted a separate cake that was for each of them (but to be shared with partygoers of course). They have these cute little 5" cakes that feed 4 adults and probably about 8 toddlers.
The little ladies have been clamoring for a Sleeping Beauty cake for Angelfish and a Cinderella cake for Ladybug ever since attending their cousin's birthday party who had a doll baked into the cake so the cake was essentially the doll's skirt. I have a feeling that they think this is what they asked for, but unfortunately it is decidedly not what they are getting. Instead they're getting the cute little 5" cakes - one with pink roses and draping (like princess Aurora's dress) and one with light blue roses and draping (like Cinderella's dress) that will have a $4 plastic doll of each princess that I will either place on top or next to the cake. Then a 1/4 sheet cake that says "Happy Birthday Angelfish and Ladybug" with pink roses and light blue draping. Enough cake for all the attendees, $20 less and the best that Mommy can do in the situation. Call me cheap, call me whatever, but I am not a Mommy who believes that birthdays for children should be more than a celebration of your life and realizes that the purpose of cake was originally to remind us of the sweetness of life NOT to impress our friends. Plus my savings pretty much paid for the nugget platter which I ordered, despite Mr. Darcy's suggestion that we merely purchase bags of nuggets and cook them all ourselves the morning of the party. I think getting everyone organized, dressed, picking up the cakes, setting up the party at the park, and getting the party going (with the Birthday Girls in attendance) on time is going to be hard enough! The Mommy Veto Power was exercised on that one!
It's hard to believe that my little ones are going to be 3. For Father's Day we got Mr. Darcy a gallery picture frames set because he had mentioned he'd like to have more pictures of the girls and family up in the house instead of just artwork. It's a beautiful set really, and he loved it (yay). So last night, we looked through all of the myriad of digital photos that we've taken over the past year and it is amazing how much our girls have grown up in such a short time. They went from baby faces to almost little girl faces. They've grown so much taller and bigger.
I can remember when they were first born and were only 5 pounds 10 ounces and 6 pounds 8 ounces and were these tiny pink things that were so sweet and helpless. Now they can climb furniture and cabinetry to get bandaids, cups, and anything else that you've told them they cannot have but want; they help me make pancakes and eggs for their Daddy for Father's Day and draw pictures, identify letters and know the first letter of their names. (Angelfish calls the first letter of her name "MY letter.") They want to know what words say and sit with books making up stories to the pictures. They have moods and thoughts and tell you that people aren't very nice when their behaviour isn't correct. (In fact last weekend we were in the grocery and the girls were sitting in the cart chatting and these high school age girls walked by. One of them said to the other "Shut up!" And Angelfish said, "We don't say that!" To which Ladybug answered, "We say please be quiet." Mr. Darcy and I were rolling in the aisle - almost literally - with laughter, and of course told them they were absolutely right.) They have wonderful sense of humor and are curious about all things, and walk around smelling flowers with abandon or stop to look at an earthworm or bug (unless it's ants where they say "ants. Don't bite us!" and back up - Ladybug stepped in an ant hill several months ago and had 20 bites around her ankle. We discovered she is NOT allergic to ants, thank goodness.)
They are not little babies anymore. They are my sweet, intelligent girls though, even with their rants and tantrums that come with being 3 and frustrated about not being in charge. I hope I am a good enough Mommy to them, for I want them to be happy and healthy all their days.
They are super excited about their birthday party. I don't know what they expect, but they've been to a few birthday parties for their school friends and their cousin so they know that birthday parties are fun and involve presents. I think they'll have a good time. We're having it at a park with a playground and a water fountain that is meant for playing in, which they love. So hopefully all will go well and it will not be too hot. They're also very excited about Nanna and Poppop and Grammie and Papa coming to the party and staying with us too. Mommy's pretty excited about it as well. Nanna's job messed up and gave her Thursday through Monday off so this will be a nice long visit instead of a 1 1/2 day jaunt. YAY!
Anyway, back to Saturday. We also got the girls' passport applications filed and the girls requested yellow passports instead of the standard issue blue, which made us all laugh. I loved it when the passport person asked Ladybug if she had blue eyes. Ladybug said "yes" and kept playing with the pen and paper she had. The woman asked her to look at her and Ladybug looked up and gave her the most beautiful smile, and the woman told us she had the most beautiful blue eyes and smile she had seen in a long time. Then it was Angelfish's turn and she asked Angelfish if she had blue eyes too. Angelfish looked at her, gave her a big smile and said "yes, like Mommy and sister but not Daddy!" (As you might have guessed, Mr. Darcy does not have blue eyes.) We all had a good chuckle and the woman said how beautiful Angelfish was too.
Then Chuckie Cheese with Auntie L, Mr. S. and their little one. It was fun but chaos. We'll do something like play at the pool next time. We had a great time but we were chasing small people all over the place and didn't get to socialize as much as we would have liked. But a good time was had by all.
After that Mommy and Mr. Darcy had a date night. The babysitter arrived just as we were serving the girls one of their favorite dinners - fish sticks, green beans and applesauce. As usual, the green beans were left on their plates, but the rest was eaten. One of these days they'll eat their veggies! We went to Outback Steakhouse, where we haven't been in forever and a day. It was nice and relaxing and happy hour. But, we've realized that we're old because when the waiter brought the 2nd drink we said "we didn't order that" and he said "it's 2 for 1 happy hour" like we were mad, crazy people. Our first thought was well, if it's free then OK. Our 2nd thought was we had no clue it was happy hour. Old. Oh well, I guess it was going to happen sometime.
Then we went to see "The Proposal." Primarily because there was nothing else to do and no other movies really grabbed either of us. So I just said, let's see that. We both really enjoyed it. Very funny movie - in fact in one part, I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard at a movie. I had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard. Quite the nice surprise.
Father's Day was fun too. I woke up with the girls (who miraculously slept until about 8 am) and we made Daddy pancakes and eggs while he slept in. Angelfish and Ladybug got Daddy "Kung Fu Panda" so we watched that and then the girls took a nap and so did we! Then we lazed around and Daddy watched a little bit of golf on TV and then let the girls watch "The Backyardigans" and "Little Einstein." Then we went for pizza and to the pool for a bit. A nice time was had by all!
This morning, it was hard to get up though. Monday reared it's head again with Mr. Darcy on a day trip for a project and Ladybug grumpy as ever (probably has something to do with her staying up until 11 pm claiming she couldn't sleep). But all were calmed, loved on, fed and dressed. Eventually. I got a late start for my 2000 m swim, but it all worked out. It was a ladder today, which was kind of fun. A 100 warm up and then a 50 sprint, a 100 moderate, then 200 and 300 both moderate, an easy 400 (which I think I swam more moderate than easy out of habit - I started easy but ended up fast), another 300 then a 200 moderate, a 100 sprint and a 50 sprint. Then a 200 cool down. I had a lot of fun with it! Even if I was worried about the guy in the next lane whose swimming was more like a concerted effort at not drowning (and kept his head above the water the entire time) and then an elderly lady decided that she would get in my lane and walk the pool while holding on to the edge but got in right in front of me as I was swimming somewhat quickly. Luckily, I found my googles and could see properly today and I was able to avoid a collision.
Nack to the grindstone today... but I'm having dinner with a wonderful friend who is in town for work. So I can't wait!
I was completely thrilled with my run even if averaging over 13 minutes a mile. I really didn't care (although now I am wanting to be faster... always the little perfectionist despite not being a natural runner... or even liking to run until about 2 months ago when I decided it was acceptable and sometimes even relaxing although I haven't hit the "fun" part yet). The 2nd 4 miles actually seemed easier than the 1st 4 miles and I got to a point where I wanted to run faster but when I would I'd hit zone 3 on the HR monitor and try to reign myself back in to protect my back, etc. I did have a little bit of leg pain while running, but it wasn't terrible and easily enough ignorable. So I was pleased as punch.
And, I had gotten up at 5:30 am (starting while the sun was down and watched it rise on the run is pretty enjoyable actually) so we had plenty of time to shower, get the girls ready, talk to my parents on the phone and then go to the Winter Park Farmer's Market. It was smaller than I thought it would be, but perfectly enjoyable. I got some good pictures, including one of Ladybug with a yellow pepper that makes me smile (and that I forgot to email to myself to share). But let me tell you... it was hot. Hotter than hot. Hotter than Hades. It was in the 90s that MORNING and only got hotter. When Angelfish, Ladybug, Mr. Darcy and I get very hot, we get ornery. We eventually bought the girls some Italian ice to cool them off and headed to get some lunch. Indoors. Poor Amanda's cheeks were almost as red as her hair. I sometimes forget that she is so fair with her redhair and thus gets hotter a bit faster. It was amusing to hear the guy selling us the Italian Ice tell us that Angelfish was feisty. We blame it on her red hair, but I think it's just her personality.
After lunch we decided to head home. But the girls fell asleep in the car, so we ended up going to Publix. Mr. Darcy napped in the car with the girls (and the air condition blasting) while I went in to order the birthday cakes and the nugget platter for the girls' birthday party coming up this Saturday. I about fell over when I looked at the cake prices... If I had gone with my original plan of 2 separate 1/4 sheet cakes with the princess toys on it that the girls have been asking for for an entire month it would have been $60 for cake. Let's just say that I am not willing to spend $60 on cake for a birthday for two 3 year olds. Sheryl, the woman working at the bakery, was awesome. I still spent $40 on cake, but it was at least a lot more acceptable to me than $60. I want Angelfish and Ladybug to have some individuality with their birthday so I wanted a separate cake that was for each of them (but to be shared with partygoers of course). They have these cute little 5" cakes that feed 4 adults and probably about 8 toddlers.
The little ladies have been clamoring for a Sleeping Beauty cake for Angelfish and a Cinderella cake for Ladybug ever since attending their cousin's birthday party who had a doll baked into the cake so the cake was essentially the doll's skirt. I have a feeling that they think this is what they asked for, but unfortunately it is decidedly not what they are getting. Instead they're getting the cute little 5" cakes - one with pink roses and draping (like princess Aurora's dress) and one with light blue roses and draping (like Cinderella's dress) that will have a $4 plastic doll of each princess that I will either place on top or next to the cake. Then a 1/4 sheet cake that says "Happy Birthday Angelfish and Ladybug" with pink roses and light blue draping. Enough cake for all the attendees, $20 less and the best that Mommy can do in the situation. Call me cheap, call me whatever, but I am not a Mommy who believes that birthdays for children should be more than a celebration of your life and realizes that the purpose of cake was originally to remind us of the sweetness of life NOT to impress our friends. Plus my savings pretty much paid for the nugget platter which I ordered, despite Mr. Darcy's suggestion that we merely purchase bags of nuggets and cook them all ourselves the morning of the party. I think getting everyone organized, dressed, picking up the cakes, setting up the party at the park, and getting the party going (with the Birthday Girls in attendance) on time is going to be hard enough! The Mommy Veto Power was exercised on that one!
It's hard to believe that my little ones are going to be 3. For Father's Day we got Mr. Darcy a gallery picture frames set because he had mentioned he'd like to have more pictures of the girls and family up in the house instead of just artwork. It's a beautiful set really, and he loved it (yay). So last night, we looked through all of the myriad of digital photos that we've taken over the past year and it is amazing how much our girls have grown up in such a short time. They went from baby faces to almost little girl faces. They've grown so much taller and bigger.
I can remember when they were first born and were only 5 pounds 10 ounces and 6 pounds 8 ounces and were these tiny pink things that were so sweet and helpless. Now they can climb furniture and cabinetry to get bandaids, cups, and anything else that you've told them they cannot have but want; they help me make pancakes and eggs for their Daddy for Father's Day and draw pictures, identify letters and know the first letter of their names. (Angelfish calls the first letter of her name "MY letter.") They want to know what words say and sit with books making up stories to the pictures. They have moods and thoughts and tell you that people aren't very nice when their behaviour isn't correct. (In fact last weekend we were in the grocery and the girls were sitting in the cart chatting and these high school age girls walked by. One of them said to the other "Shut up!" And Angelfish said, "We don't say that!" To which Ladybug answered, "We say please be quiet." Mr. Darcy and I were rolling in the aisle - almost literally - with laughter, and of course told them they were absolutely right.) They have wonderful sense of humor and are curious about all things, and walk around smelling flowers with abandon or stop to look at an earthworm or bug (unless it's ants where they say "ants. Don't bite us!" and back up - Ladybug stepped in an ant hill several months ago and had 20 bites around her ankle. We discovered she is NOT allergic to ants, thank goodness.)
They are not little babies anymore. They are my sweet, intelligent girls though, even with their rants and tantrums that come with being 3 and frustrated about not being in charge. I hope I am a good enough Mommy to them, for I want them to be happy and healthy all their days.
They are super excited about their birthday party. I don't know what they expect, but they've been to a few birthday parties for their school friends and their cousin so they know that birthday parties are fun and involve presents. I think they'll have a good time. We're having it at a park with a playground and a water fountain that is meant for playing in, which they love. So hopefully all will go well and it will not be too hot. They're also very excited about Nanna and Poppop and Grammie and Papa coming to the party and staying with us too. Mommy's pretty excited about it as well. Nanna's job messed up and gave her Thursday through Monday off so this will be a nice long visit instead of a 1 1/2 day jaunt. YAY!
Anyway, back to Saturday. We also got the girls' passport applications filed and the girls requested yellow passports instead of the standard issue blue, which made us all laugh. I loved it when the passport person asked Ladybug if she had blue eyes. Ladybug said "yes" and kept playing with the pen and paper she had. The woman asked her to look at her and Ladybug looked up and gave her the most beautiful smile, and the woman told us she had the most beautiful blue eyes and smile she had seen in a long time. Then it was Angelfish's turn and she asked Angelfish if she had blue eyes too. Angelfish looked at her, gave her a big smile and said "yes, like Mommy and sister but not Daddy!" (As you might have guessed, Mr. Darcy does not have blue eyes.) We all had a good chuckle and the woman said how beautiful Angelfish was too.
Then Chuckie Cheese with Auntie L, Mr. S. and their little one. It was fun but chaos. We'll do something like play at the pool next time. We had a great time but we were chasing small people all over the place and didn't get to socialize as much as we would have liked. But a good time was had by all.
After that Mommy and Mr. Darcy had a date night. The babysitter arrived just as we were serving the girls one of their favorite dinners - fish sticks, green beans and applesauce. As usual, the green beans were left on their plates, but the rest was eaten. One of these days they'll eat their veggies! We went to Outback Steakhouse, where we haven't been in forever and a day. It was nice and relaxing and happy hour. But, we've realized that we're old because when the waiter brought the 2nd drink we said "we didn't order that" and he said "it's 2 for 1 happy hour" like we were mad, crazy people. Our first thought was well, if it's free then OK. Our 2nd thought was we had no clue it was happy hour. Old. Oh well, I guess it was going to happen sometime.
Then we went to see "The Proposal." Primarily because there was nothing else to do and no other movies really grabbed either of us. So I just said, let's see that. We both really enjoyed it. Very funny movie - in fact in one part, I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard at a movie. I had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard. Quite the nice surprise.
Father's Day was fun too. I woke up with the girls (who miraculously slept until about 8 am) and we made Daddy pancakes and eggs while he slept in. Angelfish and Ladybug got Daddy "Kung Fu Panda" so we watched that and then the girls took a nap and so did we! Then we lazed around and Daddy watched a little bit of golf on TV and then let the girls watch "The Backyardigans" and "Little Einstein." Then we went for pizza and to the pool for a bit. A nice time was had by all!
This morning, it was hard to get up though. Monday reared it's head again with Mr. Darcy on a day trip for a project and Ladybug grumpy as ever (probably has something to do with her staying up until 11 pm claiming she couldn't sleep). But all were calmed, loved on, fed and dressed. Eventually. I got a late start for my 2000 m swim, but it all worked out. It was a ladder today, which was kind of fun. A 100 warm up and then a 50 sprint, a 100 moderate, then 200 and 300 both moderate, an easy 400 (which I think I swam more moderate than easy out of habit - I started easy but ended up fast), another 300 then a 200 moderate, a 100 sprint and a 50 sprint. Then a 200 cool down. I had a lot of fun with it! Even if I was worried about the guy in the next lane whose swimming was more like a concerted effort at not drowning (and kept his head above the water the entire time) and then an elderly lady decided that she would get in my lane and walk the pool while holding on to the edge but got in right in front of me as I was swimming somewhat quickly. Luckily, I found my googles and could see properly today and I was able to avoid a collision.
Nack to the grindstone today... but I'm having dinner with a wonderful friend who is in town for work. So I can't wait!
Friday, June 5, 2009
The Weekend in Review
So after a crazy start to the day yesterday, things turned out just fine. I made time to get the nutrition I needed at Track Shack and they happened to be having a half off sale on one type of shot blocs I use and got the other boxes of gels and blocs for 10% off. I also remembered to buy 3 more pairs of my favorite socks. I only have 3 pairs currently and am constantly washing them, so I thought I'd do myself a favor. Then I met Mr. Darcy for lunch at a place called Bellisimo in the Thorton Park area. Great food and a cute little atmosphere too. I had gnocchi with spinach and sausage. Completely out of this world.
Then it was back to work, and I had to work a late to make up for the extra time I took for lunch. Mr. Darcy was able to leave relatively on time and picked up the little ladies on the way home. We dressed for the pool and headed out - 2 little ladies with dry underpants for the day wahoo! We had a lovely time at the pool, but when it was time to leave the girls melted down because they didn't want to go. Drama ensued but eventually we had everyone in dry clothes, no longer screaming or crying and had a lovely dinner at Lil' Anthony's.
Saturday I was up at 6:30 am (sleeping in for me) and I headed off to LA Fitness for my brick. It was a relatively easy one from the standpoint that the swim was 1600 meters and then a 45 minute "run" keeping my HR under 135, which of course meant almost all 45 minutes being a rather brisk walk (this time on the treadmill). Then it was back home. We attempted a go at the Winter Park Farmer's Market but just as we arrived the skies looked like they were going to open up and were pitch black. So we headed over to Costco instead and got the little ladies passport photos taken, bought a new tv for Mr. Darcy, and had some lunch. Then it was a few small errands (during which the girls napped in the car), dinner out, the grocery shopping, and then wrestling the children into bed.
Sunday we planned to go to church, but that never quite materialized. Both Mr. Darcy and Ladybug slept in. (Mr. Darcy sleeping much later than the Ladybug.) I normally would not hesitate to wake Mr. Darcy, but Ladybug is a different matter. On the weekends Angelfish and Ladybug like to make the most of their time with Mommy and Daddy and tend to wake earlier than they do during the work week (much to our chagrin... the thought of sleeping in until 9 am is but a dream). So if she needed her sleep, she needed her sleep. Angelfish and I used the time to make french toast, read a book or two, color, clean the house, and bake banana bread. Then around the time Ladybug awoke "The Backyardigans" was demanded and since I needed to do at least 4 loads of laundry and straighten our frightfully messy kitchen and living room, I gave in. Mr. Darcy awoke to my hussling and bussling.
Eventually we made it out to do a few errands - discovering one place that we drove half an hour to get to was closed on Sunday, but then had lunch and ended up buying a lamp we had thought about buying when we first got our furniture. It looks quite lovely in the foyer with the foyer table and the new painting we purchased for that very spot on Saturday. I love it when a plan comes together. Now if only we can get the formal dining straightened out, the family room finished, and the painting done, we'll be on a roll. HAHAHA.
Then I cooked dinner, making enough for leftovers for tomorrow. Monday leftovers are wonderful, if you ask me. This week will be quite the busy one. My training schedule is pretty tough this week, plus Mr. Darcy not only has 2 deadlines at work but a meeting for a social group he is in and a volleyball game. Perhaps the kitchen will get taped up for painting this week... one can dream.
Now it's off to stuff envelopes for Angelfish and Ladybugs' upcoming 3rd birthday party. It's difficult to believe that they will be 3 in just a few short weeks. I swear that I will blink and they'll be off graduating high school.
Then it was back to work, and I had to work a late to make up for the extra time I took for lunch. Mr. Darcy was able to leave relatively on time and picked up the little ladies on the way home. We dressed for the pool and headed out - 2 little ladies with dry underpants for the day wahoo! We had a lovely time at the pool, but when it was time to leave the girls melted down because they didn't want to go. Drama ensued but eventually we had everyone in dry clothes, no longer screaming or crying and had a lovely dinner at Lil' Anthony's.
Saturday I was up at 6:30 am (sleeping in for me) and I headed off to LA Fitness for my brick. It was a relatively easy one from the standpoint that the swim was 1600 meters and then a 45 minute "run" keeping my HR under 135, which of course meant almost all 45 minutes being a rather brisk walk (this time on the treadmill). Then it was back home. We attempted a go at the Winter Park Farmer's Market but just as we arrived the skies looked like they were going to open up and were pitch black. So we headed over to Costco instead and got the little ladies passport photos taken, bought a new tv for Mr. Darcy, and had some lunch. Then it was a few small errands (during which the girls napped in the car), dinner out, the grocery shopping, and then wrestling the children into bed.
Sunday we planned to go to church, but that never quite materialized. Both Mr. Darcy and Ladybug slept in. (Mr. Darcy sleeping much later than the Ladybug.) I normally would not hesitate to wake Mr. Darcy, but Ladybug is a different matter. On the weekends Angelfish and Ladybug like to make the most of their time with Mommy and Daddy and tend to wake earlier than they do during the work week (much to our chagrin... the thought of sleeping in until 9 am is but a dream). So if she needed her sleep, she needed her sleep. Angelfish and I used the time to make french toast, read a book or two, color, clean the house, and bake banana bread. Then around the time Ladybug awoke "The Backyardigans" was demanded and since I needed to do at least 4 loads of laundry and straighten our frightfully messy kitchen and living room, I gave in. Mr. Darcy awoke to my hussling and bussling.
Eventually we made it out to do a few errands - discovering one place that we drove half an hour to get to was closed on Sunday, but then had lunch and ended up buying a lamp we had thought about buying when we first got our furniture. It looks quite lovely in the foyer with the foyer table and the new painting we purchased for that very spot on Saturday. I love it when a plan comes together. Now if only we can get the formal dining straightened out, the family room finished, and the painting done, we'll be on a roll. HAHAHA.
Then I cooked dinner, making enough for leftovers for tomorrow. Monday leftovers are wonderful, if you ask me. This week will be quite the busy one. My training schedule is pretty tough this week, plus Mr. Darcy not only has 2 deadlines at work but a meeting for a social group he is in and a volleyball game. Perhaps the kitchen will get taped up for painting this week... one can dream.
Now it's off to stuff envelopes for Angelfish and Ladybugs' upcoming 3rd birthday party. It's difficult to believe that they will be 3 in just a few short weeks. I swear that I will blink and they'll be off graduating high school.
Monday, May 18, 2009
A Weekend of Growth and Choices
This weekend was quite interesting. After a very angry shouting session where I fully expressed myself, and settling down a bit, Ladybug asked me, "Are you happy with me Mommy?" To which I replied, "Yes, honey. You make me so happy. You are wonderful and I love you very much." And made the choice to stop being angry.
A little bit later, Mr. Darcy decided he wanted to go with me for my 45 minute run. So we packed up the girls with snacks, drinks, and got them into the "blue car" and finally set off (about 1/2 an hour later), with Mr. Darcy pushing the car that seems to go by itself. 15 minutes into the run, I hear heavy panting behind me and being generous, I told him we'd walk for 3 minutes. Then we ran another 15 minutes, walked 3 minutes, and ran out the rest of the 45 minutes. Unfortunately, I had purposely skipped 2 sets of 500 calorie meals the day before to prove a point, a stupid point that showed nothing but that it would pay me back on the run. I was able to do the run because I ate some breakfast before the run, but being short on 1,000 calories from the day before doesn't help in the heat and I almost vomited the emptiness of my stomach during the run.
So, afterwards I made the choice to never do something so stupid again. I announced that I will eat what I want, when I want and if that wasn't acceptable then too bad. You have to fuel your tank to do what triathletes do, and you harm yourself when you don't.
I also explained that we all have choices in this world. I do my best to be the best me I can be every day. That is my choice. I chose to eat healthy, whole grains, vegetables, fruits, and lean meats and fish, and train for triathlons, and if that is not enough for my body to become acceptable for others that is their choice, not mine. I am the best me I can be. The others have the choice to accept me as I am and for that to be enough for their own happiness, or they can choose to be unhappy. I cannot control others happiness, nor am I going to spend my life trying to do that. That choice is up to them to make.
The growth that came from that choice was amazing. I always was taught that you should always work at self improvement but to never allow yourself to be proud of yourself. I chose now to no longer believe that. I realize now that I have to be my own best cheerleader because as a dear friend said to me, "Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is because of their own reality, their own dream. Your best is always going to change from moment to moment. Under any circumstances, simply do your best." And I also found some inspiration from Triathlete Life magazine of all places. It was talking about the idea that some people have about who should do triathlons, and really it was up to each person to decide that no matter what shape or weight they start at that they are triathletes and take up the challenge. It all kind of came together.
I can be proud of myself as long as I do not reach the crazy mode of thinking that I am wonderful and can never improve or that I am the absolute "best." So that day I chose to be proud of myself. And I realized that all these years, my dearest friends who have been telling me I'm wonderful are right. I am pretty friggin' awesome to be quite honest. I'm even more lucky to have met people who challenge my notion of myself and inspire me to always improve, to value the wonderful in people, and to learn from others. I have met some amazing people, but I realize now that I am pretty amazing too.
I am smart, hardworking, friendly, kind, caring, a champion of those I love - friends and family alike. I am dedicated to my children and their happiness and their growth into caring and responsible people but without crushing their spirit and what makes them unique. I am supportive of my husband's dreams even when I don't necessarily want the same for myself. I love, honor and cherish my husband for all his faults and opinions, even those that I disagree with. I am accepting of people for all their faults and all their positives, but those that I truly respect are the ones I let into my life. I want to make this world a better place by being in it, and that's why charitable works and being a good friend and a good person and helping those who need it are so very important to me. I believe that we all deserve and have a right to be loved for who we are and that should be celebrated every day. I have endured many hardships in my life but I never want to be a complainer and I try to live each day with happiness and joy. I have my faults too. I am not perfect or a supermodel, and I never will be - no matter how hard I try. But I am the best me I can be on every day that I am on this planet. Some days this means I will be better than other days, but I am the best me I can be and I'm proud of me.
Coming to this realization and this belief made it a lot easier to have a nice rest of the weekend. After our run on Saturday and my epiphany and sharing my epiphany, the girls cracked me up because they wanted to take a shower with me. So we spent time playing in the water, just the 3 of us, which was a hoot. Angelfish and Ladybug truly are little water babies. I think, like their Momma, if they could spend all their time in the water or either on the pool deck or the beach, they'd be happiest of all. Poor Angelfish got shampoo in her eye and claimed that it burned for a good long while, even after I flushed her eye with water a few times. I think she was wanting some Mommy attention, personally. So I bundled her up in a towel and rocked her and snuggled with her on the bed. The next thing I knew Ladybug was trying to wake us up and Mr. Darcy was stopping her. So we napped a little longer.
After our nap, we played until Ladybug got up from her nap and then we played some more until I needed to make dinner for them. Mr. Darcy and I went to a restaurant in Winter Park called Chez Vincent for our anniversary. It was delicious! Perhaps the best meal I have had in an extremely long time. I had venison with sundried cherries and a sauce that was so tender and delicious that it was like heaven. Mr. Darcy had a filet mignon that he said was rather scruptious as well. For desert, we shared a Grand Marnier souffle with a little bit of chocolate sauce. Yum!
Sunday, we finally found a church that we love and plan to become members. Angelfish and Ladybug are to thank really, as they asked (completely unprompted) if we could go to church. I figured, out of the mouths of babes... So, All Saints Episcopal Church is the winner. It too is in Winter Park, but definitely worth our 30 minute drive. Then we had some lunch, did some errands, the girls fell asleep (and so did I) in the car, so we headed to try to buy honey from our local beekeeper forgetting that they are closed on Sunday. Then it was time for the wrap up party for my Team in Training team.
We had a blast - it was a pool party and all were there with good food and their families. Ryan had been raising money for TNT by raffling off a new Orbea bike - either an Onix road bike or the Ora tri-bike, winner's choice. I had already bought a ticket, but the way Ryan was asking for any more interested people for tickets right before the drawing, I was worried that he might not have sold enough tickets to cover the cost of the bike. I told Mr. Darcy that he needed to buy a ticket and Mr. Darcy resisted. Then I told him that he needed to go buy the ticket because I was worried that Ryan might not have sold enough to cover the cost of the bike and that I knew he had a $20 bill in his wallet. Mr. Darcy bought the last ticket.
To make things fair, Ryan mixed up all the tickets in a box, shook vigorously and mixed them by hand as well, and then had little AJ, a 3 year old Leukemia survivor whose Mom Hope was on our team, select the winning ticket. Mr. Darcy won the bike! He says that he is only starting to try to workout and I have been dedicated to my training so I should have the bike. I told him he could have the bike, but he insisted. So, I will be the proud new owner of a gorgeous Orbea Ora Tri-bike. (Pic below for those of you who love bikes...) I am super excited!
A great end to the weekend! This morning I hit a 4 mile run, and ran the entire thing with energy to spare, and this evening I'll have a swim workout as well. My swim gear (kickboard, paddles, buoy, and zoomers) was just delivered, and my heart rate monitor I ordered is in at the bike shop! 70.3 here I come!
A little bit later, Mr. Darcy decided he wanted to go with me for my 45 minute run. So we packed up the girls with snacks, drinks, and got them into the "blue car" and finally set off (about 1/2 an hour later), with Mr. Darcy pushing the car that seems to go by itself. 15 minutes into the run, I hear heavy panting behind me and being generous, I told him we'd walk for 3 minutes. Then we ran another 15 minutes, walked 3 minutes, and ran out the rest of the 45 minutes. Unfortunately, I had purposely skipped 2 sets of 500 calorie meals the day before to prove a point, a stupid point that showed nothing but that it would pay me back on the run. I was able to do the run because I ate some breakfast before the run, but being short on 1,000 calories from the day before doesn't help in the heat and I almost vomited the emptiness of my stomach during the run.
So, afterwards I made the choice to never do something so stupid again. I announced that I will eat what I want, when I want and if that wasn't acceptable then too bad. You have to fuel your tank to do what triathletes do, and you harm yourself when you don't.
I also explained that we all have choices in this world. I do my best to be the best me I can be every day. That is my choice. I chose to eat healthy, whole grains, vegetables, fruits, and lean meats and fish, and train for triathlons, and if that is not enough for my body to become acceptable for others that is their choice, not mine. I am the best me I can be. The others have the choice to accept me as I am and for that to be enough for their own happiness, or they can choose to be unhappy. I cannot control others happiness, nor am I going to spend my life trying to do that. That choice is up to them to make.
The growth that came from that choice was amazing. I always was taught that you should always work at self improvement but to never allow yourself to be proud of yourself. I chose now to no longer believe that. I realize now that I have to be my own best cheerleader because as a dear friend said to me, "Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is because of their own reality, their own dream. Your best is always going to change from moment to moment. Under any circumstances, simply do your best." And I also found some inspiration from Triathlete Life magazine of all places. It was talking about the idea that some people have about who should do triathlons, and really it was up to each person to decide that no matter what shape or weight they start at that they are triathletes and take up the challenge. It all kind of came together.
I can be proud of myself as long as I do not reach the crazy mode of thinking that I am wonderful and can never improve or that I am the absolute "best." So that day I chose to be proud of myself. And I realized that all these years, my dearest friends who have been telling me I'm wonderful are right. I am pretty friggin' awesome to be quite honest. I'm even more lucky to have met people who challenge my notion of myself and inspire me to always improve, to value the wonderful in people, and to learn from others. I have met some amazing people, but I realize now that I am pretty amazing too.
I am smart, hardworking, friendly, kind, caring, a champion of those I love - friends and family alike. I am dedicated to my children and their happiness and their growth into caring and responsible people but without crushing their spirit and what makes them unique. I am supportive of my husband's dreams even when I don't necessarily want the same for myself. I love, honor and cherish my husband for all his faults and opinions, even those that I disagree with. I am accepting of people for all their faults and all their positives, but those that I truly respect are the ones I let into my life. I want to make this world a better place by being in it, and that's why charitable works and being a good friend and a good person and helping those who need it are so very important to me. I believe that we all deserve and have a right to be loved for who we are and that should be celebrated every day. I have endured many hardships in my life but I never want to be a complainer and I try to live each day with happiness and joy. I have my faults too. I am not perfect or a supermodel, and I never will be - no matter how hard I try. But I am the best me I can be on every day that I am on this planet. Some days this means I will be better than other days, but I am the best me I can be and I'm proud of me.
Coming to this realization and this belief made it a lot easier to have a nice rest of the weekend. After our run on Saturday and my epiphany and sharing my epiphany, the girls cracked me up because they wanted to take a shower with me. So we spent time playing in the water, just the 3 of us, which was a hoot. Angelfish and Ladybug truly are little water babies. I think, like their Momma, if they could spend all their time in the water or either on the pool deck or the beach, they'd be happiest of all. Poor Angelfish got shampoo in her eye and claimed that it burned for a good long while, even after I flushed her eye with water a few times. I think she was wanting some Mommy attention, personally. So I bundled her up in a towel and rocked her and snuggled with her on the bed. The next thing I knew Ladybug was trying to wake us up and Mr. Darcy was stopping her. So we napped a little longer.
After our nap, we played until Ladybug got up from her nap and then we played some more until I needed to make dinner for them. Mr. Darcy and I went to a restaurant in Winter Park called Chez Vincent for our anniversary. It was delicious! Perhaps the best meal I have had in an extremely long time. I had venison with sundried cherries and a sauce that was so tender and delicious that it was like heaven. Mr. Darcy had a filet mignon that he said was rather scruptious as well. For desert, we shared a Grand Marnier souffle with a little bit of chocolate sauce. Yum!
Sunday, we finally found a church that we love and plan to become members. Angelfish and Ladybug are to thank really, as they asked (completely unprompted) if we could go to church. I figured, out of the mouths of babes... So, All Saints Episcopal Church is the winner. It too is in Winter Park, but definitely worth our 30 minute drive. Then we had some lunch, did some errands, the girls fell asleep (and so did I) in the car, so we headed to try to buy honey from our local beekeeper forgetting that they are closed on Sunday. Then it was time for the wrap up party for my Team in Training team.
We had a blast - it was a pool party and all were there with good food and their families. Ryan had been raising money for TNT by raffling off a new Orbea bike - either an Onix road bike or the Ora tri-bike, winner's choice. I had already bought a ticket, but the way Ryan was asking for any more interested people for tickets right before the drawing, I was worried that he might not have sold enough tickets to cover the cost of the bike. I told Mr. Darcy that he needed to buy a ticket and Mr. Darcy resisted. Then I told him that he needed to go buy the ticket because I was worried that Ryan might not have sold enough to cover the cost of the bike and that I knew he had a $20 bill in his wallet. Mr. Darcy bought the last ticket.
To make things fair, Ryan mixed up all the tickets in a box, shook vigorously and mixed them by hand as well, and then had little AJ, a 3 year old Leukemia survivor whose Mom Hope was on our team, select the winning ticket. Mr. Darcy won the bike! He says that he is only starting to try to workout and I have been dedicated to my training so I should have the bike. I told him he could have the bike, but he insisted. So, I will be the proud new owner of a gorgeous Orbea Ora Tri-bike. (Pic below for those of you who love bikes...) I am super excited!
A great end to the weekend! This morning I hit a 4 mile run, and ran the entire thing with energy to spare, and this evening I'll have a swim workout as well. My swim gear (kickboard, paddles, buoy, and zoomers) was just delivered, and my heart rate monitor I ordered is in at the bike shop! 70.3 here I come!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
A lovely few days...
This weekend was quite lovely. Saturday started early with a 15 mile bike and 1 mile run (I did not walk for one second), followed by a nutrition talk about fueling while training and doing the triathlon. Then I rushed home to go to Disney, only to discover that everyone else in the house was in the need of a nap... which I secretly was happy about because I too really wanted a nap. Evidently, we all needed our sleep because the liliputians, their parents and their Grammie all ended up taking a nice 3 hour nap... completely unheard of for around these parts! Then Grammie was very sweet and let Mr. Darcy and I go on a date. We had a wonderful time talking without interruptions over sushi and a glass of Bonzai (plum wine with a shot of warm sake - very yummy!), and then attempted to go see Slumdog Millionaire. But, we were too late to see the movie, couldn't find anything else that looked appealing enough to spend the $20 on, and wandered over to a bike shop and the Best Buy... leaving without purchases. So we headed to the rental store and rented "Righteous Kill" (which was rather good, but I was able to guess the ending - but worth it because I really like Al Pacino and Robert DiNero) and a western that I keep forgetting the nameof. When we got home around 9 pm, Grammie was still singing the girls to sleep. Spoiled rotten they were! Just like Grammie's are supposed to do.
Sunday started with a visit to the ER - Ladybug's loop is officially removed and she is almost 100% healed up. Then we hit Disney. Not sure who was more excited - Grammie or the girls. But a good time was had by all! Afterwards, I went to a friend's house to watch the Oscars and had a lovely time... although I forgot how late they last and was half asleep by the time I got home.
Sunday started with a visit to the ER - Ladybug's loop is officially removed and she is almost 100% healed up. Then we hit Disney. Not sure who was more excited - Grammie or the girls. But a good time was had by all! Afterwards, I went to a friend's house to watch the Oscars and had a lovely time... although I forgot how late they last and was half asleep by the time I got home. Monday I spent in my pajamas while getting munchkins ready (with Mr. Darcy) for school, working, and saying goodbye to my MIL (aka Grammie) before she left to go back home. Grammie was a god-send for us this past week and we are forever indebted to her for her kindness not only to our dear Ladybug while she was at home, but also to us for helping around the house (the straightening every night was heavenly, as was the dishwashing and laundry) and for letting us spend a little bit of alone time together (which is not something we get to do on a regular basis). The pajamas must have been the key to my day yesterday because I only changed out of them when Mr. Darcy arrived home with the girls and I realized I needed to put on my swim suit for practice. After some fun with the little ladybugs, I was out the door and ready to swim. And swim I did! Our practice was a little longer than 1 mile, and I loved getting into the rhythm of it all and just swimming and swimming... which was good because I had to do the week's grocery shopping afterwards, but was regaled by a friend's stories about his police beat as of late. If only we could get our dear Bryan to move to Florida - the girls miss their buddy!
This evening, we run at Lake Eola, and it is Mardi Gras. Thus, I've added some thin mints to my diet for the day (the fuel for true triathlon training), along with some diet coke, and I'll be sure to have an alcoholic beverage at the end of the day. I'm giving up sweets, diet coke and alcohol for the next 40 days of lent. Always a reminder that these little things are so difficult to give up... so I'm taking a little stock of them today so I will not be missing them so terribly, which I guess is not the way it is supposed to work, but it is my plan.
(The Food of Champions.... the Thin Mint!)
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