... means we're on a collision course with Christmas and New Year's!
I started yesterday with a 4 mile run to try to work off some of Thanksgiving. Not too shabby with an average of an 11 minute mile pace, while doing 9/1's. Today was a 20 minute stint on the stationary bike (7.8 miles) followed by weight training, and 1/2 a mile run/walk at the end. It was to be a 2 mile easy cool down run at the end, but my calf wasn't cooperating. So I listened to my body and stopped. The calf is good but it's not quite 100%. It's getting there though, so we don't want to reverse the healing trend.
I plan to get up early tomorrow and do a little bit of speed work before heading out on my road trip to Atlanta for work and some fun when I'm not on the clock. I may not get to post while I'm away, but I'm sure I'll have something to post when I get back.
Somewhere over the holiday weekend, I decided that there are a few things that I want to do. You can call them Pre-New Year's Resolutions or whatever you want. But it's my action plan all the same.
The first of these is to really pay attention to the joy and fun that my children can and do bring to my life. So before I get to the rest, here are a couple of things overheard from the kiddies the past few days:
1. Ladybug: "Oh no! Goldilocks ate my porrige and is in my bed! Call the Police!" Angelfish: "Don't worry! I'm a girl police!"
2. Angelfish (after being told Santa might not want to bring her a motorcycle for safety reasons): "I'll be very careful. I'll only ride it on the road and I'll hang on real tight because I don't want to fall off!"
3. Ladybug: "I am NOT babe. I'm (said her full name). But you can sometimes call me Ladybug!"
4. Angelfish: "We just saw a reindeer in the backyard, Mommy! He must be checking on us for Santa." (It was a regular deer without antlers...)
5. Ladybug: "I'm hungry. (lifts up shirt to show belly button) My tummy says, 'give me something healthy and good to eat - quick!"
They really are pretty funny!
Next, is to find a few moments of peace to meditate and release tension etc. at the end of each day. Right now the work day ends, I rush off to get the kids, rush to make dinner, play with the girls, get the girls in bed, talk to Mr. Darcy, and fall into bed. No wonder I feel tense a lot.
Find joy in happiness in what I have, instead of focusing on the parts of life that aren't as "good." I used to be a really positive person. I'm still positive but not quite like before. I'd like to get that part of me back.
Have more fun - even doing my everyday stuff. I'm hoping to find a way to make life more fun by making the mundane items of every day more interesting.
Take better care of myself. I already try to workout to take care of my body and my health. I try to eat healthy (although Thanksgiving weekend may have undone all of the weight that I had lost), but I need to really focus on this more (she says after remembering the store bought pizza she put in the oven for dinner last night). Get my butt out of bed earlier each morning and make sure I start my workouts on time so I can shower before work. (Easier said than done.)
Dress better.... not just whatever I grabbed to throw on, but go back to taking pride in how I look each day. (Even if no one but the daycare ladies and the family see me that day.) Wear make up. Blowdry my hair. All the things I used to do when we lived in Atlanta because I wouldn't be seen sloppy or unkept - I never knew who I was going to run into.
Be a better wife. Instead of getting into pajamas and into bed after the kids go to bed, I need to try to stay in an upright position so I can have meaningful conversation and be a good listener to Mr. Darcy. I fell asleep on the poor guy last night as he was talking about all the stressful stuff he has going on right now... which is not what he needs. I'm trying to help him find ways to deal with his stress and I go and make him feel like I'm not there for him because I can't even stay awake. Yes he's cozy and his voice is soothing, but it's still no excuse. I'm supportive at all other times (at least to the best of my ability), but come night time and I'm out.
Be a better Mom. I am a pretty good Mom, but I let myself get frustrated when the girls aren't doing what I want them to do. Does it really matter if they put their socks and shoes on before eating yogurt instead of after like they want instead of when I want them too? I need to learn to pick my battles. I'm good at loving on my kids too, but I tend to want it my way on my time frame and in my order of doing things (sounds a bit like Ladybug, doesn't it?) and when the girls don't comply (even if they do what I want in a different way on a different time frame) I get all worked up. I've learned to pick my battles on these things with Mr. Darcy over the years, so now I'm going to work on it with the girls. No more of the mentality that I am the parent and thus they must put their shoes and socks on at the moment I want, yogurt (or whatever else) be d@mned. This isn't to say that I won't be keeping discipline, but just doing it with the idea that I don't control them. Instead I need to teach them and help them grow into wonderful, successful, kind and caring individuals. Plus it will help with decreasing my own stress. I mean really, why does it matter when the little things happen as long as they happen?
Accept my body for what it is. I've never been good at this one. Even before I had children, I was always finding something that needed work. It's been hard to accept that I will never be the size 4 that I was before getting pregnant. Or even the same sort of size 10 that I was before we found out I had PCOS and returned to being the size 4 I had been in college and high school. Now I have pretty nice looking legs, a nice rear and back, decent arms, and a stomach that starts at my ribs and angles outward and that I can lift and move because of all the stretched out skin I have from being pregnant with twins. It's funny actually. If you look at me straight on, I look good - I have an hour glass shape - until I turn to the side and there's that stomach, which is why I fall apart when someone asks me if I'm pregnant. I am coming to accept that it's not going anywhere (other than when I lift it up to make that flat stomach in the mirror). I took the first step this weekend. I went through my entire closet and my dresser and tried every item of clothing on, including the stuff that I've been hoping to someday get back into. If it didn't fit or didn't look good on me, it went in a pile for donation (save 3 things - one no one else can tell that it doesn't fit right and it still looks good; the other 2 are very close to fitting right). My closet is pretty empty and the pile is pretty big. I was holding on to a lot of the past. Now my job is to slowly shop and buy things that make my body look good the way it is, not the way I want it to be.
Accept my new city as my new home. I am going to find ways to get to know Orlando more, and to find what I want, where I live now. I am going to stop comparing it to Atlanta. It's hard to do - the arts, the culture, the shopping, etc. I loved my life in Atlanta and I will always hang onto my friends there and keep the wonderful memories of living there. But I am making the decision right now, that Atlanta is no longer my home. Orlando is now my home, and to make it my home I need to get to know it. So I'm going to try to get to know the different areas and what there is to do where. There is no symphony here, which was one of my favorite things to go and do in Atlanta, so I'm going to have to find some other cultural aspect of the city to explore and enjoy. I'm not sure how to go about doing this, but I'll be keeping my eye out for an Orlando guide that's not just all about the theme parks - and maybe taking jaunts on the weekends to scope things out.
I have so much to be Thankful for, and that is what Thanksgiving showed me. It also made me realize that I can do more in my life to accept all the goodness that I have in it. The action list was born even if I didn't realize it until I started writing this post...
While I'll be in Atlanta this week and part of the weekend, next weekend is the girls' night party here in Orlando, a 5K Reindeer Run Saturday morning, and I'm thinking that if the girls' earn enough red tokens we'll take them to see the new Disney "Princess and the Frog" movie. We have to get them to see Santa at some point too. Angelfish wants a motorcycle for her and for Ladybug, a book for Mr. Darcy, and a pretty present for me. Ladybug wants a candy cane, a book, and a toy. But I can't wait to hear what they actually tell Santa they want...
So straight on to Christmas!