Tempting Fate?

This has been a morning and a half already. I think there may be some sort of charmic conspiracy to see how dedicated I really am to getting my workouts done. Perhaps I threw down the gauntlet to Fate without knowing it when I said I was committed to making each and every training session. I know she likes a challenge and has a rather unique sense of irony. Is that what it is? If so, I'd like to find a way to distract her or apologize or whatever I need to do because breaking down in tears over children's shoes really isn't becoming (even if it did get Ladybug to stop being so completely evil this morning).

Last night was supposed to be a 1 hour track practice with the Team in Training marathon team. I got there in plenty of time, as did the storm that was brewing. At first it looked like it would keep moving and we might get a little rain, but nothing we couldn't handle. About 3 minutes later, the lightning started and the thunder told us (along with the ever brightening bolts of lightning) that the storm was getting closer. Coach told us to go home and told me to try to get my workout in at our house if the weather was okay. Well, I got home in time for the storming to start at the house. So I dropped my bike off at home (it wasn't letting me change into the large chain ring and almost made me crash trying... turns out a bolt was just too tight) and headed to the YMCA. I was a woman on a mission. Determination was my middle name.

I finally found a parking spot, got inside and ALL of the treadmills were taken. So I resorted to an elliptical machine for 6 1/2 minutes until someone finished and I pounced on the open treadmill. Finished my 15 minute warm up and then started my 5 minutes x2 of race pace, which I did at 11:32 because I figured I needed more speed (even though on the road race pace has seemed to workout to be closer to 12 minutes) and because it was a hopeful race pace. 1 minute of recovery and then back to race pace for the last 5 minute interval. Then 15 minutes of cool down that turned into more of a 13 minute pace for 22 minutes because I figured I had to use the elliptical machine so why not. Even with the warm up and the 1 minute of recovery, my overall pace worked out to be 13:38. I was pleased. Not only did I avert missing a training session, but I did it well.

This morning started with Mr. Darcy getting up at 4:30 am. Mr. Darcy never gets up at 4:30 am unless maybe a round of golf is involved or a puking child. There was no round of golf, and (thankfully) no puking child either. Mr. Darcy was going into work to finish a few things before his 8:30 am flight to Fayetteville, NC. Only later would I discover that he took the girls' new sneakers with him.

I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning. I wanted so badly to sleep. Evidently it was going around because after stretching and getting dressed for my morning swim session, I tried to wake the girls. Angelfish clung to me like saran wrap and was sweet as could be. (This is the same child who got upset with me last night because she was talking up a storm at bed time and I told her to be quiet. She responded, "Mommy, I'm trying to talk to you and you told me to be quiet. I want to talk to you. That's not very nice." How guilty does that make you feel? Even if I know she needed to go to bed.)

Ladybug on the other hand... at one point she started talking to me as though I were hard of hearing - loud and very slow: "I. Don't. Want. To. Get. Out. Of. Bed. I. Want. To. Sleep." I remained calm, told her I wanted to have a nice morning with her before we had to leave for school and asked her to please make the right choice to get out of bed and get dressed. Let's just say her response was less than cordial and I ended up being screamed at, hit, punched, and kicked by a raging 3 year old. A spank did not cure the problem. So, I got her dressed and strapped her into the car seat leaving her to rage (while I had an eye on her from inside the house - she was in the garage with the garage door closed, the car off, the mini-van door open and the house door open) without beating me up.

It was this very moment that I realized the girls shoes were missing. And that it was now already 7:32 am. I called Mr. Darcy, who was in a rather grumpy mood. Two grumpy moods at this point do not make for a friendly conversation unfortunately. He yelled, and I hung up. I talked Angelfish into her old sneakers but for the life of me could only find one of Ladybug's old sneakers in the house. Goodness only knows where it is. I found a pair of dress shoes that are too small but that that Ladybug can wear until the other sneaker is found (it's too small too, but at least it's bigger than the dress shoes) or until Mr. Darcy returns from North Carolina with the girls' sneakers.

Ladybug finally calmed down and said she wanted to come inside. So, in she came and was pleasant enough using the potty and getting yogurt and milk for breakfast (yay, calcium!). Angelfish then decided that she wanted the dress shoes that I was going to put on Ladybug and threw her own tantrum and untying her shoes. It's 7:45 am at this point and I've gotten to the end of the rope that I've been so desperately clinging to still in the hopes of salvaging the morning and turning it from stressful into blissful. Well, I got to the end of the rope and fell into the abyss.

I don't generally scream at my children, but I did. I screamed that I had enough and they were going to wear the shoes I told them to wear. I screamed that I needed to get a swim in for my race that was coming up and now I couldn't because I had to still take them to school and go to work. And then I stood in the middle of the room and cried. I'm not a big crier, but there I was standing there crying. Crying because I couldn't find that dang sneaker, because I couldn't get my swim in before work, because I still had to figure a way to pull myself together so I wasn't screaming at my kids, because I felt like I was a bad mother for having to strap my child in the car to prevent her from hitting and kicking me after I did all I could to gently wrestle her into her clothes. I cried and said, "I just can't find the other shoe."

Something about it spoke to Ladybug. Angelfish said something about her shoes and Ladybug told her she needed to wear them because Daddy took their shoes to his meeting. Angelfish said "Mommy's silly." Ladybug told her in a very strict sort of way "No she's not. She's sad." and then told me she'd wear the dress shoes. Thank God for small miracles.

By 7:55 am, we were fully clothed and shod and sitting in the car headed to daycare. While there was no hope left of getting my swim in before work at 8:30 am, there was at least hope for familial peace. When I got home from daycare, I discovered Mr. Darcy left me a nice message about being sorry that our call earlier hadn't gone well and that he was about to get on the plane. That made me feel a little bit better too. I'll still have to apologize for my part in the not so friendly call when he calls later.

Now I'm holding out hope that something else will catch Fate's eye much more interesting than my vow to not miss any more training sessions before the race so I can get my swim in during my lunch hour today (which would mean I would actually take my lunch hour instead of working through it like usual). Let's keep our fingers and toes crossed!!

(Update: I got my 2000m in! I must have been in a hurry because I did it in 39:24. Pretty fast for me! Now if I can do that before the aid of the current in Augusta...)

It all involves Water.

My children are crazy things. Mr. Darcy has a deadline this week and hasn't been home until after midnight and promises more such evenings until the end of the week when the deadline is finally over. The past 2 nights the girls and I have been hanging out, having a good time and then bedtime comes. At some point either during or after story time, Ladybug turns into a grumpy troll. I'm not sure how it happens, but all of a sudden she fixates on something and starts screaming and crying as only a 3 year old can.

Last night, I thought all was well. Sure Ladybug screamed her head off and all that, but after a few minutes of leaving the room it got quiet. I thought they fell asleep. Nope. At 10:30 pm, I was awakened by the sound of Angelfish screaming. I run to their bedroom to discover that neither of them are in their beds. Now I start to panic because I didn't have the alarm on because who knows what hour Mr. Darcy will get home, and they are gone. And then I hear it. A happy screech and splashing. But they are not in their bathroom. I follow the sound to the guest bathroom and throw open the door. The light is on, all of the handtowels and bathtowels that were hanging up or folded nicely near the sink are soaking wet. The floor is covered with water, and there are 2 naughty little girls in their pajamas splashing about in the bathtub while water runs from the faucet.

I shouted. at the top of my lungs. GO TO BED! They looked at me like I was the biggest meanie ever. I do my best not to yell. I come from a long line of yellers and have been working hard not to yell at the girls. But this time, I think they deserved it. I just yelled that one thing and then told them that they could have gotten hurt or drowned as they marched grumpily to their bedrooms. I told them that because of their behavior - not staying in bed, making a mess of the bathroom, playing in the tub without supervision - they would both be getting spankings. The gnashing and wailing of teeth (on their part) started as soon as I said it. Then I gave each a spank (not that hard at all). I HATE to give spankings and only give them very sparingly. To be honest, it makes me nauseous and gives me a sick feeling to spank either of my children. But, post spanking they cried only a minute or two more and were silent. And I'm pretty sure that they went to sleep that time. Water.

This morning I got up early because it's a busy day. 5:15 am, I'm up and packing my gym bag and about to put on my swim suit when Angelfish appears out of nowhere. Running. I jumped about 20 feet in the air and she says "I'm going to the potty" as she sprints past me. Why she didn't use the potty in her bathroom, I have no idea, but then I'm still working on understanding the minds of 3 year olds. I get my bathing suit on and she tells me "I'm not tired." How can you not be tired when you go to bed at 10:45 pm, wake at 5:15 am, and you're only 3? But she insists, so she watched me eat my breakfast, tell her I was going to the gym, and leave (Mr. Darcy was home, of course.).

I got to the gym by 6am, hit the pool at 6:07 am. I had a 2500m swim consisting of a 500 m swim, a 500 m pull, 5x100 drills, another 500m pull but with breathing changes, and then a 500 m cool down. I was psyched. I always am slower when drills and pulls are involved, but I still finished the workout by 6:57. 50 minutes for 1 1/2 miles. It made me happy. Water.

Then it was off to get showered, dressed and get myself home. Where I was greeted by Ladybug and Mr. Darcy as Mr. Darcy was trying to convince her that she needed to use the potty before putting on her bathing suit (it's WATER day at school today). Ladybug followed me around a bit and then decided she wanted water to drink, but it had to be out of the red cup that I had just drank my Recoverite and that she refused to let me wash first. Oh and I had to get the water just so. I ended up walking away because she was yelling at me (the way 3 year olds yell at people with that whiny annoying voice... it's not a good thing to be a Mom with one her pet peeves is whining). I told her I would be happy to help her when she was ready to ask me nicely. She tried to hit me. I told her that she should not hit her Mommy and that it was not acceptable behavior. Ladybug in her 3 year old rage walks up to me, looks at my knee to find my scraped up leg, and hits me as hard as she can on my skinned up knee (which is very tender at the moment). She intentionally harmed me over a glass of water.

I told Mr. Darcy the situation, walked into my office, closed the door, and prepared for my teleconference at 8 am. Water. Ladybug cried a river because Mommy walked away and didn't give in. Mr. Darcy put her in time out and only got her when he was ready to take her to the car (about 5 minutes later... she wasn't there long). She never apologized but grabbed for me and wanted her Mommy. She wanted to stay home with me today. Tears running down her face.

I felt for her and of course forgive her mean but childlike anger and actions. I love my Ladybug and Angelfish so much that sometimes it makes me cry. But at the same time, they can frustrate me to no end. And I will be honest... as soon as Mr. Darcy took Ladybug to the car, I thought to myself: "This time next week, I will be on a cruise ship, alone with Mr. Darcy (the first time since our children were born over 3 years ago), in the Bahamas looking at the beautful... water."