After a Little Self Affirmation...

After a little self affirmation from yesterday, I plan not to write too many more vitrolic posts.  But I cannot apologize for being honest.  I can't help what comes out of my finger tips.  Okay, I can and I actually often do tone things down...sometimes. 

Thank you everyone for your comments yesterday.  They were really helpful!  And it's nice to know that someone is out there listening/reading.  Oh and I am thrilled that my blog has gotten to 40 followers! 
In my tizzy yesterday, I forgot to tell you some funny things the girls have done/said lately.  So, here's an installment of the Ladybug and Angelfish comedy show....

Ladybug: Mommy, don't forget your cheese stick.  It's the breakfast of champions.  Oh, and here's the bag too.

Angelfish: I know I don't have hair on my face, but I like to pretend shave anyway.  That way I smell like Daddy.  Ladybug: You mean STINKY!

Angelfish: I didn't have time at school to make you a valentine, Mommy.  Me: What were you doing?  Angelfish: Oh, you know.  Playing, reading, going to the potty.

Ladybug: If you have to go run, can you run over there and get me a tissue? My nose has boogers.

Angelfish: The moon is going down and the sun is coming up, that means GET UP!

Ladybug: (on the way to school this morning) When I'm older, I'm going to be a Mommy.  And when I'm a Mommy, my babies are going to go to school in the morning, then my husband and I are going to go running or swimming, and then I'm going to work with princesses.  I might even be a princess.

Ahhh.... yes.  Speaking of running, this morning I had a 9 mile run on the schedule.  I really am trying to have a day on the weekend as a recovery day, but that was not in the cards.  Last night, I was exhausted.  Plain and simple.  I fell asleep listening to Mr. Darcy talk.  I don't even know what he was saying other than it was something about muscles burning more calories than fat and needing more calories the more muscles you have and how this worked with his theories on weight loss.  You could already tell I was tuckered out because even when I had been talking, my eyes were closed.  I couldn't keep them open for the life of me.  Mr. Darcy had convinced me it would be raining in the morning anyway (which it wasn't), but even if he hadn't convinced me, there would have been no way I would have gotten up.  At 6:38 am, I opened my eyes because Ladybug kicked me.  She had come into our bed around 2 am with some story about almost falling out of bed and being afraid of the dark.  I really am not sure what she said, I just remember helping her into bed and then I was out again. I hadn't even heard the alarm clock when it went off multiple times as Mr. Darcy pressed snooze.  Well, at that point, there is no way that I could get a 9 mile run in before work.  So I closed my eyes.  A few minutes later, Angelfish was saying the bit about the moon and the sun that I shared above as she crawled into bed and snuggled in.  I kicked Mr. Darcy out of bed to get ready for work and agreed to take the girls to daycare, even though all I really wanted to do was sleep.  In fact, my lunch plan is to sleep and then eat while working.

But, despite all of that, last night was quite successful.  I came within 160 calories of my 1965... with the help of sharing a little chocolate cake with Mr. Darcy and the girls at dinner. My fat was at around 27% (thanks to the cake), which was a good bit higher than I want. My goal is tostick to about 20% because I know that's where my cardiologist would like to see it  and because I know that will help get me to my 23% body fat goal. But, I don't plan on making desert part of my eating plan.  Since I missed the run, today I need to eat 1,515 calories.

I already have the food all planned out, and as long as I stick to the plan, I will come within 86 calories of the 1,515 (which I figure is fine because there could be a margin of error since my breakfast came from Davis Bakery - a homemade quiche with artichokes and red peppers - and I inputted the ingredients of the quiche as told to me).  It's quite the laundry list of food when I look at it.  I even wonder how I might get it all in, but it will be just fine I'm sure... it's got lean meats, whole grains, veggies and fruit and a large coffee to keep my eye lids open.  But the proportions are nice too: 55% carb; 29% protein; 16% fat.  I really want to get down and stay at 23% body fat, which is the low end of healthy for a woman my age.  The trick though is that I have to find out what my body fat percent is now... so I have to get my courage up to get them to do it either at LA Fitness or a the Y (yes, memberships everyhwere - our Y doesn't have a pool and the LA Fitness is closer than the next closest Y with a pool and the cost works out to be a little cheaper to do the LA Fitness membership for me plus the one location family membership.).  I know I have to do it, but I fear it all at once.

I'm glad I forced us to do the grocery shopping last night after dinner before attacking the valentine's day party cards and such.  Of course, I still am amazed at how the other Mom's have time to do goodie bags for every kid in the class (maybe that's what other Mommies do instead of training?)... which wasn't on the list of things to bring, but I guess I have been slacking on the Mom duties... and it dawned on me why Ladybug asked last night if we could bring goodie bags for her friends at school.  When I was 3... heck when I was 12... we didn't have goodie bags for every holiday.  But, times have changed, I guess, and now I'm the "slacker mom" that only brought in the chocolate chips she signed up for, little cards for the class members, and NO goodie bags.  I'll have to get on that for the next school party - which probably will be St. Patrick's Day. 

I'll resist the urge to put Green Beer in the St. Paddie's Day goodie bags... I have a feeling the Department of Child and Family Services would be called.  It's bad enough that last night at dinner it was happy hour and they had $2 glasses of house wine.  I had a glass of pinot noir and Angelfish yells out, "Whee! It's wine!" and then Mr. Darcy gives the girls a sip of his beer against my objections.  We rarely drink, but the way the girls talk (especially Ladybug when she sipped Mr. Darcy's beer she says loudly "MMM. I love beer!") you'd think we were regular lushes.  At least it's not like a friend of mine who told her daughter that she couldn't have a sip of her wine because it was special Mommy juice, and then a week later in a restaurant the little girl says in front of the waitress, "Oh look, it's more special Mommy juice for you Mommy.  Are you going to have another?" Or is it...

Anyway.  I'll get on the goodie bag bandwagon next time so as not to ruin the girls' social life this early on.  And I'll get on my run Sunday morning... I'll even attempt to get up early so I'm home before everyone else wakes up. I have a Team in Training workout tomorrow morning - a 20 mile bike and a 3 mile run - thus the 9 miler on Sunday instead of tomorrow.  It should be a chilly one, but we'll get 'er done!

Unfortunately, my parents aren't going to visit this weekend after all.  My Dad has been sick for days with a virus that has given him stomach issues and body aches, and he doesn't want to give it to us.  We're completely understanding but just really disappointed.  We were looking forward to it!

And that's why I ended up in Davis Bakery for breakfast this morning.  I had ordered (and paid for) a carrot cake birthday cake for my Dad.  I ran in there and asked if they could change the writing from Happy Birthday to Happy Valentine's Day.  They said they had it baked but not decorated yet, so it was all good.  They really are delightful people.  Alex and Chris, the owners, are truly sweet and really nice.  They made a donation to LLS  for my fundraising efforts, and I wrote them a Thank You note, which is what I do.  I don't do things to get thanked but when you give a gift especially (which is kind of how I see a donation to support my fundraising efforts), you should send a handwritten thank you note.  First, it's an acknowledgement of the gift and 2nd it should be natural to want to thank some one.  Anyway, they feel the same way and they both thanked me for sending them the thank you note.  I told them that they are not supposed to thank me for the note because it's my responsibility to thank them for their generosity.  Anyway, I love a place where you really like not only the food and the service but the wonderful people who own and run the place.  It's like a mini home away from home, even if you are paying for the food.

So now I'm plotting to have a Valentine's Day party for the girls and Mr. Darcy after my 9 miler on Sunday (don't worry - I'll shower first).  I just have to figure out what little gifts to get for the girls (I didn't get to that part of my list yesterday), and what to have for dinner.  I may even get a balloon or two.  (Not to mention how and when to get it done.) Look out, I'm on a wild tear! HAHAHA!

I saw a great opportunity on Big Daddy Diesel's blog the other day... Brooks has a program where you get discounts and such if you agree to wear their products at all your races.  (If you want more info, visit here)  I know I mentioned the other day that I love their Trace shoes, and I'd love it if they would send me products to test, so I decided to apply for the program.  (I need more training apparel as it is...) Who knows if they'll accept me, but I love their running shorts, running shirts, and running shoes, so I figured it would be a natural fit (at least for me).  It was interesting to put in my 3 last USAT sanctioned races and to look at the times.  Times can be misleading sometimes.  I'm not saying that I'm the fastest lady out there, that's for certain.  But when your official time for your 2 last races includes the time that it took for a bike chain that broke to get repaired and the time that it took you to change a flat tire and recover from the bike crash caused by said flat tire and still dig it out to finish the race while all cut up and bruised, it helped me realize that mental strength and the desire to get it done no matter what is often more meaningful than the official time.  There is that champion that resides in all of us, even if we are back of the packers (who are attempting to become middle of the packers).  As Buzz Lightyear says (and is oft repeated by Angelfish): to infinity and beyond!  So we'll see what happens.  And if I do get in the program, it will definitely make it easier for me to test their products...

Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day to all of you!  May the day be a sweet one.

Post Script: I'm holding myself accountable - I have an appointment for a body fat measurement on Monday morning at the Y.  I am terrified to find out, but am hopeful it will be better than I expect.