So after a crazy start to the day yesterday, things turned out just fine. I made time to get the nutrition I needed at Track Shack and they happened to be having a half off sale on one type of shot blocs I use and got the other boxes of gels and blocs for 10% off. I also remembered to buy 3 more pairs of my favorite socks. I only have 3 pairs currently and am constantly washing them, so I thought I'd do myself a favor. Then I met Mr. Darcy for lunch at a place called Bellisimo in the Thorton Park area. Great food and a cute little atmosphere too. I had gnocchi with spinach and sausage. Completely out of this world.
Then it was back to work, and I had to work a late to make up for the extra time I took for lunch. Mr. Darcy was able to leave relatively on time and picked up the little ladies on the way home. We dressed for the pool and headed out - 2 little ladies with dry underpants for the day wahoo! We had a lovely time at the pool, but when it was time to leave the girls melted down because they didn't want to go. Drama ensued but eventually we had everyone in dry clothes, no longer screaming or crying and had a lovely dinner at Lil' Anthony's.
Saturday I was up at 6:30 am (sleeping in for me) and I headed off to LA Fitness for my brick. It was a relatively easy one from the standpoint that the swim was 1600 meters and then a 45 minute "run" keeping my HR under 135, which of course meant almost all 45 minutes being a rather brisk walk (this time on the treadmill). Then it was back home. We attempted a go at the Winter Park Farmer's Market but just as we arrived the skies looked like they were going to open up and were pitch black. So we headed over to Costco instead and got the little ladies passport photos taken, bought a new tv for Mr. Darcy, and had some lunch. Then it was a few small errands (during which the girls napped in the car), dinner out, the grocery shopping, and then wrestling the children into bed.
Sunday we planned to go to church, but that never quite materialized. Both Mr. Darcy and Ladybug slept in. (Mr. Darcy sleeping much later than the Ladybug.) I normally would not hesitate to wake Mr. Darcy, but Ladybug is a different matter. On the weekends Angelfish and Ladybug like to make the most of their time with Mommy and Daddy and tend to wake earlier than they do during the work week (much to our chagrin... the thought of sleeping in until 9 am is but a dream). So if she needed her sleep, she needed her sleep. Angelfish and I used the time to make french toast, read a book or two, color, clean the house, and bake banana bread. Then around the time Ladybug awoke "The Backyardigans" was demanded and since I needed to do at least 4 loads of laundry and straighten our frightfully messy kitchen and living room, I gave in. Mr. Darcy awoke to my hussling and bussling.
Eventually we made it out to do a few errands - discovering one place that we drove half an hour to get to was closed on Sunday, but then had lunch and ended up buying a lamp we had thought about buying when we first got our furniture. It looks quite lovely in the foyer with the foyer table and the new painting we purchased for that very spot on Saturday. I love it when a plan comes together. Now if only we can get the formal dining straightened out, the family room finished, and the painting done, we'll be on a roll. HAHAHA.
Then I cooked dinner, making enough for leftovers for tomorrow. Monday leftovers are wonderful, if you ask me. This week will be quite the busy one. My training schedule is pretty tough this week, plus Mr. Darcy not only has 2 deadlines at work but a meeting for a social group he is in and a volleyball game. Perhaps the kitchen will get taped up for painting this week... one can dream.
Now it's off to stuff envelopes for Angelfish and Ladybugs' upcoming 3rd birthday party. It's difficult to believe that they will be 3 in just a few short weeks. I swear that I will blink and they'll be off graduating high school.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Some Days...
are better than others. (Both a phrase and a rather good U2 song.) I have a feeling this is one of those "crazy" days. It started with my inability to get out of bed, which I managed to do just in time to hear munchkin voices emanating from the master bath (which backs up to the girls bedroom and I can hear them when they're talking from the water closet itself and our closet). I finish putting on my running gear and head to their bedroom. Both Ladybug and Angelfish are up. (Oh and I've decided after reading another bloggers post about a bad incident they had with their mother-in-law about how she wasn't good enough for the MIL's son that I am going incognito with names from now on. I'm not worried about my MIL but you never know who is reading, do you? So the children are now Angelfish and Ladybug. Hubby is now Mr. Darcy.)
They're also both refusing to use the bathroom, want water and to play. Chaos ensues, Mommy becomes frustrated at high levels only to encounter Mr. Darcy who tells her that Angelfish and Ladybug are acting this way because I am tense. No, I am tense because Angelfish and Ladybug have been acting this way for the 40 minutes it took you to get out of bed, showered, shaved and into the living room! Further chaos ensues and Mr. Darcy becomes tense and reacts to Ladybug's behavior in what I deem to be an inappropriate way. More tension and a wee bit of yelling. I calm Ladybug. Angelfish is now happily eating and coloring.
Then I head off for my 7 mile run, which I forgot to map out. Ladybug gives me copious kisses and hugs and tells me she'll see me tomorrow as I leave. I haven't done a 7 mile run in awhile, but my legs are aching (as usual) for the first 2.5 miles of the run. I stop and stretch and then start running again. I eat a gel at what I think is the halfway point. I'm feeling pretty good but not necessarily going as fast as I can because whenever I get into a faster pace my HR monitor starts beeping as I've hit the highest HR range. I really don't see what the big deal is for running with your Heart Rate at 160. I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to pass out or anything. In fact, I'd wager I've been running at 160 or higher for the majority of the past year. But anyway. On the way back to the house, I can't remember if I need to go all the way back up the street and back or not. I seem to remember that if I do that, that I'm over what I'm supposed to run, but then I can't remember if that is for the 6 mile run or the 7 mile run. Ultimately resting on the 7 mile. Turns out I'm wrong. I finish the run, come inside and look at my summary for the exercise for the run. Only 765 calories burned for a 7 mile run is not quite right. The time seems right, but then I could have been on the slow side today. I sit down with google maps and discover - yes, I was averaging a 13 minute mile and only ran 5.5 miles. The good news though was that I felt pretty good at the end of the run I did do.
I discover this as I'm talking to Coach on the phone. So, of course, Coach laughs at my miscalculation of distance and says that she could tell me not to worry about it, but it won't do me much good for getting my endurance up. But that the good news is that you don't fully recover within 24 hours so adding the 1.5 miles I was missing a little later in the day will be ok.
Then I was either having cellphone issues or user error. Finally I get the phone to work and I'm up and running to get a question answered for work. But I still have to get the rest of my run in. Plus I'm almost completely out of nutrition for my workouts (the during stuff). Mr. Darcy calls me because he wants to apologize for this morning being stressful, wants to have lunch today and tells me that I really should order my training nutrition in bulk because he's certain I'd save money and the hassle of driving downtown to get it. True about the hassle, but from what I've seen the bulk savings do not really exist due to the cost of shipping. Either way, I still need the nutrition for tomorrow. So now I have said I will lunch (which I would like to), but I still need nutrition and the rest of my run.
So I decide to do my run, and try to do it "fast." It's already 80 degrees out and muggy. My thighs are rubbing together uncomfortably and I realize I needed to re-apply the Body Glide before running again, but have not. I'm not doing an all out sprint, but I've at least stepped up my running a notch for this 1.5 mile run. Done in 17 minutes and 34 seconds even. Essentially an 11.7 minute mile. Watch out you world record holders!
I decided to focus on the positives and also reminded myself that I want to get stronger on the bike before the run because the bike is the longest part of the race. Positive #1: It was sunnier than when I go earlier in the morning which made people's flowers and yards look even prettier. Postitive #2: My legs didn't hurt at all on the run. Positive #3: I was faster on average than earlier this morning. Positive #4: I finished the 7 miles like I was scheduled to do. Positive #5: I felt really good at the end, like I could have gone farther and enjoyed both runs! Positive #6: memories of things I saw on my earlier morning run: my favorite retiree neighbor who lives in my favorite house in the neighborhood and who always smiles and waves (even if on his cell like this morning) while walking his shi tzu (who never even barks at me), and passing a black duck who was walking rather fast in the grass along the sidewalk as though he too was getting his morning training in. Positive #7: when I emailed my paralegal to let him know I was back, he told me that I was fast. I'm not, but it was nice to hear!
So, it will be quite interesting to see what the rest of the day has in store for me. But whatever happens, I'm still blessed to be on the planet even if grumbling a bit!
They're also both refusing to use the bathroom, want water and to play. Chaos ensues, Mommy becomes frustrated at high levels only to encounter Mr. Darcy who tells her that Angelfish and Ladybug are acting this way because I am tense. No, I am tense because Angelfish and Ladybug have been acting this way for the 40 minutes it took you to get out of bed, showered, shaved and into the living room! Further chaos ensues and Mr. Darcy becomes tense and reacts to Ladybug's behavior in what I deem to be an inappropriate way. More tension and a wee bit of yelling. I calm Ladybug. Angelfish is now happily eating and coloring.
Then I head off for my 7 mile run, which I forgot to map out. Ladybug gives me copious kisses and hugs and tells me she'll see me tomorrow as I leave. I haven't done a 7 mile run in awhile, but my legs are aching (as usual) for the first 2.5 miles of the run. I stop and stretch and then start running again. I eat a gel at what I think is the halfway point. I'm feeling pretty good but not necessarily going as fast as I can because whenever I get into a faster pace my HR monitor starts beeping as I've hit the highest HR range. I really don't see what the big deal is for running with your Heart Rate at 160. I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to pass out or anything. In fact, I'd wager I've been running at 160 or higher for the majority of the past year. But anyway. On the way back to the house, I can't remember if I need to go all the way back up the street and back or not. I seem to remember that if I do that, that I'm over what I'm supposed to run, but then I can't remember if that is for the 6 mile run or the 7 mile run. Ultimately resting on the 7 mile. Turns out I'm wrong. I finish the run, come inside and look at my summary for the exercise for the run. Only 765 calories burned for a 7 mile run is not quite right. The time seems right, but then I could have been on the slow side today. I sit down with google maps and discover - yes, I was averaging a 13 minute mile and only ran 5.5 miles. The good news though was that I felt pretty good at the end of the run I did do.
I discover this as I'm talking to Coach on the phone. So, of course, Coach laughs at my miscalculation of distance and says that she could tell me not to worry about it, but it won't do me much good for getting my endurance up. But that the good news is that you don't fully recover within 24 hours so adding the 1.5 miles I was missing a little later in the day will be ok.
Then I was either having cellphone issues or user error. Finally I get the phone to work and I'm up and running to get a question answered for work. But I still have to get the rest of my run in. Plus I'm almost completely out of nutrition for my workouts (the during stuff). Mr. Darcy calls me because he wants to apologize for this morning being stressful, wants to have lunch today and tells me that I really should order my training nutrition in bulk because he's certain I'd save money and the hassle of driving downtown to get it. True about the hassle, but from what I've seen the bulk savings do not really exist due to the cost of shipping. Either way, I still need the nutrition for tomorrow. So now I have said I will lunch (which I would like to), but I still need nutrition and the rest of my run.
So I decide to do my run, and try to do it "fast." It's already 80 degrees out and muggy. My thighs are rubbing together uncomfortably and I realize I needed to re-apply the Body Glide before running again, but have not. I'm not doing an all out sprint, but I've at least stepped up my running a notch for this 1.5 mile run. Done in 17 minutes and 34 seconds even. Essentially an 11.7 minute mile. Watch out you world record holders!
I decided to focus on the positives and also reminded myself that I want to get stronger on the bike before the run because the bike is the longest part of the race. Positive #1: It was sunnier than when I go earlier in the morning which made people's flowers and yards look even prettier. Postitive #2: My legs didn't hurt at all on the run. Positive #3: I was faster on average than earlier this morning. Positive #4: I finished the 7 miles like I was scheduled to do. Positive #5: I felt really good at the end, like I could have gone farther and enjoyed both runs! Positive #6: memories of things I saw on my earlier morning run: my favorite retiree neighbor who lives in my favorite house in the neighborhood and who always smiles and waves (even if on his cell like this morning) while walking his shi tzu (who never even barks at me), and passing a black duck who was walking rather fast in the grass along the sidewalk as though he too was getting his morning training in. Positive #7: when I emailed my paralegal to let him know I was back, he told me that I was fast. I'm not, but it was nice to hear!
So, it will be quite interesting to see what the rest of the day has in store for me. But whatever happens, I'm still blessed to be on the planet even if grumbling a bit!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
A Great Ride, an Emotional Jumble and a Deer
A Great Ride
This morning started with my workout. Let's just say one does get a little bit tired of being the only one on time. I made it down to the bike shop - where we were to meet for our morning ride - at 6 am. The ride was to leave at 6:30, but I had a 20 minute "run" keeping my heart rate down under 135. Jose was supposed to meet me but he wasn't there, so at 6:08 I decided to start running the parking lot for my 20 minutes. He eventually arrived while I was running and trying to mentally coax my heart rate back under 135. It wasn't working so I slowed to a brisk walk for a bit and then decided to run with him a bit, but when the heart rate alarm went off telling me I was in the upper heart rate zone at 162, I resumed briskly walking. I have a feeling my highest HR is higher than the 185 allotted. I'm going to have to get someone who knows what they're doing (hint, hint Coach) to help me do that so we can make my settings more personal instead of the average person setting. Anyway.
Then I waited around for the rest of the cyclists and we left around 7 am. Turned out we had to stop by another business park and pick up a few other people for the ride... all of whom were very good cyclists and who left me in the dust.
But, I still had a good ride. I have decided that I am no one else in the race but me. It's just me and my goals, not me and other people. Once I get better at this gig, then I will think about actually trying to beat other people. I was thrilled with today's ride and am even more in love with my bike! The bike computer was switched over from the old bike so I could really see what I could do. I probably could have switched to harder gears while riding today but 1) my workout dictated an easy ride and 2) I am still getting used to the new bike. In a medium gear, I was able to have a cadence of anywhere from 85 to 100 with ease, and I pretty much averaged around 17 to 17.5 mph. It was awesome! There were times that I was riding at 18 mph going up hill. At one point I was going 18.3 mph uphill, and then went 22.3 mph downhill. And this was an easy ride! How fast can I go in a harder gear, I wonder? I resisted the temptation to find out today, only because I know I have a 7 mile run scheduled for tomorrow morning and because Coach was out there riding too. It's like getting caught misbehaving by your Mom so I didn't bother to try to go all out. I didn't quite get to the 25 miles scheduled, but figured the 24.7 miles was close enough since we got a later start. The best part? I did it in around 1 1/2 hours. Go me!
an Emotional Jumble
On the way home I started thinking about yesterday's post and my post from last Friday. I realized that they might look a little bi-polar because in one, I mention how over all I have a good life with not much to complain about and then yesterday I was, well, sort of complaining. The thing is, both are true. I don't know where I got this idea in my head that my life should be more than ordinary to be a truly successfully lived life, but I did and that sticks with me.
By most standards, I would say I have a happy life: a husband who loves me, two wonderful children, a good job, a nice house, decent health, some dear and wonderful friends (who I miss because the don't live near me), and a love for triathlons and training for triathlons. But then there is this other standard that I also apply to my life: I need to do more than just exist on the planet. There is this entire world of stuff that is here for us to explore. I subscribe to an opinion stolen from The Color Purple, God doesn't care for it when we walk by a purple flower and don't even notice it. Of course, I apply that notion to people as well as things. I also think we need to look out for one another and that we are put in each others lives at just the right moment for a reason. So, that is why feeling tethered to my house raises all these problems for my happiness. I don't feel like I'm doing all that I can do for others, and I certainly do not feel like I am out there enjoying life to the fullest like I should be. This is not to say that I do not savor the moments with my children and my husband because I do. They are roses that I stop to smell too. It's just sometimes you need to explore a different garden... and my hope is to share the experiences with them. It certainly is not nearly as fun to see it all alone.
Maybe how I'm thinking about all of this is best described in what I've taken from the movies that have been my favorites in life. First, "It's a Wonderful Life" - we're all interconnected and being good for and to one another is one of the most important things in life. Everything we do touches the lives of another. Next, "The Dead Poets Society." I believe there is a line in the movie that says something along the lines of "seize the days, boys. Make your lives extraordinary." I think that pretty much sums that one up. "The Pirates of the Carribean": the quest for love and freedom should never stop even if you have to go to the ends of the earth and back, and you might as well have fun while doing it. "Amelie": there is someone for everyone and doing good things for others warms the soul - both yours and theirs. And then there's the multitude of books I love, but basically I like the books that have someone wanting the best for their lives and finding it in extraordinary ways, whether that be in love or other aspects of their lives.
Perhaps I set the standard too high. Or perhaps my efforts in reaching it have, as of late, been too low. I am not certain which it may be, but I do know that I have been trying to be the best me I can be each and every day. Somewhere in focusing on doing that, I've realized that to be truly happy I need "more" in my life. Bill and I talked last night about putting together a list of things we'd like to do in the area and to start doing them on the weekends. I think it's a good idea but would rather fly by the seat of my pants in doing it. Unfortunately, with two almost 3 year olds, Half Iron Man training, and a husband who doesn't mind doing things but would be just as happy tooling around the house all day, flying by the seat of my pants probably isn't going to cut it. So we'll try the list. We also are going to try to have lunch once a week to get me out of the house. And we're going to try to start working on our house (painting projects, etc) to really make it ours... probably during the work week evenings after the munchkins are in bed. I'm also going to join a group here in town that is a women's networking group that does charitable works in the community. A good way to meet people and feel like I am helping others to appease my psyche.
So, as I said in my post last week: I have a good life and I'm blessed in many ways. But truth be told, I still want more and I plan to find it. Figuring it all out is part of my life.
and A Deer
Last night we were finishing up dinner when out from the preserve behind our house came a beautiful deer. She was amber colored and had such a peaceful gait. Our neighbor put up a fence recently and I think the deer had planned to cut through the yard but the fence was in the way. So she stood, thinking (it appeared). We showed the girls and all watched quietly from inside the house - keeping our girls (and ourselves) from running out onto the back porch to get a closer look. I swear that the deer was looking right at me the entire time. Such beauty and peace. Such a wonderful moment. Then she just walked back into the preserve the same way she walked out.
Then Ladybug asked, "is an elephant going to come out next?" "a horse?" "a cow?" "a monkey?" She too seems to be looking for more.
This morning started with my workout. Let's just say one does get a little bit tired of being the only one on time. I made it down to the bike shop - where we were to meet for our morning ride - at 6 am. The ride was to leave at 6:30, but I had a 20 minute "run" keeping my heart rate down under 135. Jose was supposed to meet me but he wasn't there, so at 6:08 I decided to start running the parking lot for my 20 minutes. He eventually arrived while I was running and trying to mentally coax my heart rate back under 135. It wasn't working so I slowed to a brisk walk for a bit and then decided to run with him a bit, but when the heart rate alarm went off telling me I was in the upper heart rate zone at 162, I resumed briskly walking. I have a feeling my highest HR is higher than the 185 allotted. I'm going to have to get someone who knows what they're doing (hint, hint Coach) to help me do that so we can make my settings more personal instead of the average person setting. Anyway.
Then I waited around for the rest of the cyclists and we left around 7 am. Turned out we had to stop by another business park and pick up a few other people for the ride... all of whom were very good cyclists and who left me in the dust.
But, I still had a good ride. I have decided that I am no one else in the race but me. It's just me and my goals, not me and other people. Once I get better at this gig, then I will think about actually trying to beat other people. I was thrilled with today's ride and am even more in love with my bike! The bike computer was switched over from the old bike so I could really see what I could do. I probably could have switched to harder gears while riding today but 1) my workout dictated an easy ride and 2) I am still getting used to the new bike. In a medium gear, I was able to have a cadence of anywhere from 85 to 100 with ease, and I pretty much averaged around 17 to 17.5 mph. It was awesome! There were times that I was riding at 18 mph going up hill. At one point I was going 18.3 mph uphill, and then went 22.3 mph downhill. And this was an easy ride! How fast can I go in a harder gear, I wonder? I resisted the temptation to find out today, only because I know I have a 7 mile run scheduled for tomorrow morning and because Coach was out there riding too. It's like getting caught misbehaving by your Mom so I didn't bother to try to go all out. I didn't quite get to the 25 miles scheduled, but figured the 24.7 miles was close enough since we got a later start. The best part? I did it in around 1 1/2 hours. Go me!
an Emotional Jumble
On the way home I started thinking about yesterday's post and my post from last Friday. I realized that they might look a little bi-polar because in one, I mention how over all I have a good life with not much to complain about and then yesterday I was, well, sort of complaining. The thing is, both are true. I don't know where I got this idea in my head that my life should be more than ordinary to be a truly successfully lived life, but I did and that sticks with me.
By most standards, I would say I have a happy life: a husband who loves me, two wonderful children, a good job, a nice house, decent health, some dear and wonderful friends (who I miss because the don't live near me), and a love for triathlons and training for triathlons. But then there is this other standard that I also apply to my life: I need to do more than just exist on the planet. There is this entire world of stuff that is here for us to explore. I subscribe to an opinion stolen from The Color Purple, God doesn't care for it when we walk by a purple flower and don't even notice it. Of course, I apply that notion to people as well as things. I also think we need to look out for one another and that we are put in each others lives at just the right moment for a reason. So, that is why feeling tethered to my house raises all these problems for my happiness. I don't feel like I'm doing all that I can do for others, and I certainly do not feel like I am out there enjoying life to the fullest like I should be. This is not to say that I do not savor the moments with my children and my husband because I do. They are roses that I stop to smell too. It's just sometimes you need to explore a different garden... and my hope is to share the experiences with them. It certainly is not nearly as fun to see it all alone.
Maybe how I'm thinking about all of this is best described in what I've taken from the movies that have been my favorites in life. First, "It's a Wonderful Life" - we're all interconnected and being good for and to one another is one of the most important things in life. Everything we do touches the lives of another. Next, "The Dead Poets Society." I believe there is a line in the movie that says something along the lines of "seize the days, boys. Make your lives extraordinary." I think that pretty much sums that one up. "The Pirates of the Carribean": the quest for love and freedom should never stop even if you have to go to the ends of the earth and back, and you might as well have fun while doing it. "Amelie": there is someone for everyone and doing good things for others warms the soul - both yours and theirs. And then there's the multitude of books I love, but basically I like the books that have someone wanting the best for their lives and finding it in extraordinary ways, whether that be in love or other aspects of their lives.
Perhaps I set the standard too high. Or perhaps my efforts in reaching it have, as of late, been too low. I am not certain which it may be, but I do know that I have been trying to be the best me I can be each and every day. Somewhere in focusing on doing that, I've realized that to be truly happy I need "more" in my life. Bill and I talked last night about putting together a list of things we'd like to do in the area and to start doing them on the weekends. I think it's a good idea but would rather fly by the seat of my pants in doing it. Unfortunately, with two almost 3 year olds, Half Iron Man training, and a husband who doesn't mind doing things but would be just as happy tooling around the house all day, flying by the seat of my pants probably isn't going to cut it. So we'll try the list. We also are going to try to have lunch once a week to get me out of the house. And we're going to try to start working on our house (painting projects, etc) to really make it ours... probably during the work week evenings after the munchkins are in bed. I'm also going to join a group here in town that is a women's networking group that does charitable works in the community. A good way to meet people and feel like I am helping others to appease my psyche.
So, as I said in my post last week: I have a good life and I'm blessed in many ways. But truth be told, I still want more and I plan to find it. Figuring it all out is part of my life.
and A Deer
Last night we were finishing up dinner when out from the preserve behind our house came a beautiful deer. She was amber colored and had such a peaceful gait. Our neighbor put up a fence recently and I think the deer had planned to cut through the yard but the fence was in the way. So she stood, thinking (it appeared). We showed the girls and all watched quietly from inside the house - keeping our girls (and ourselves) from running out onto the back porch to get a closer look. I swear that the deer was looking right at me the entire time. Such beauty and peace. Such a wonderful moment. Then she just walked back into the preserve the same way she walked out.
Then Ladybug asked, "is an elephant going to come out next?" "a horse?" "a cow?" "a monkey?" She too seems to be looking for more.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Just had to share...
I got an email from my boss' boss asking me to call him about a commercial for a sister company this morning. I thought I was going to have to research something or other. Turns out, they want me to be in the commercial. It's an infomercial of sorts and they'll be using me as the "licensed attorney" to make a statement about why incorporating is important to protect personal assets.
Didn't I just post something about wanting an adventure? I've never been in a commercial before. What a hoot.
Didn't I just post something about wanting an adventure? I've never been in a commercial before. What a hoot.
A Need for "Adventure"
I am in need of adventure. Nothing major or even extraordinary, but just a little daily adventure. You see, I work from home. Everyone says how wonderful it must be to work from home, but the reality is that it is not wonderful. It is rather lonely and isolating and throws you into funks from time to time. Those of you who work in an office, even in you think you keep to yourself, do not realize how much human interaction you get. And I, I am a social person.
My father once explained to me that I was a "social butterfly" and fit myself to every interaction. I didn't see it back then (I was 15 at the time), but I fully admit it now. I like to have an outfit for every occasion (despite my complete inability in the past 3 or 4 years to shop for clothing due to pregnancy and/or Mommy duties and that this has led to a scarcity of the necessary outfits causing me great consternation), and know what to say to who and when, and when at a loss I love to observe and figure things/people out. My favorite and least favorite things in this world are people. Favorite because people are wonderful and you learn so much from everyone you encounter, and least favorite because people can be cruel, selfish and hateful. (I avoid these kinds of people, who I call poison people.) But the only way to find out which category someone will be in (favorite vs. least favorite) is to talk to them and get to know them a bit. And that is where my joy rests.
Working from home has its benefits: no commute, no parking issues, savings on gas, no one to talk your ear off when they and you really need to be working but not wanting to be rude. But it has its detractors too: stuck in your house from sun up to sun down some days, no one to talk to, no one to have lunch with, only the sound of your dog or the clock to keep you company, the fact that you are technically "always available," not wanting to wear pajamas but feeling silly if you get dressed like you would if you were going into the office, etc.
Sometimes this doesn't bother me, but there are cycles of things where I end up in a funk. I realized this morning that I am completely in a funk right now. Other than our trip for our niece's birthday party this weekend, I only left the house for training sessions and to pick my children up from daycare at the end of the day. Yesterday I just wanted to get out. When I went to get my girls from daycare, I realized yes I want to carry my camera everywhere I go but I really don't go anywhere. So I took a picture of the view out of my office window and then discovered that the house computer won't turn on so I have no way to even download it to include in the blog today.
I think part of it is that Team in Training is over until next year for me, and it had set places and times where I would train with others. It sometimes was stressful to get places on time, but I loved being with other people. Now, most of my training is done alone. I try to train with others at least once a week, but it's not as "required" as before so it's easy to slip into the dutiful Mommy and wife role and be hanging about the house even when Bill says he can handle it. But really I just want to run away and join the circus some days - a sense of adventure that is not lacking. I am a nomad by nature. Before the girls were born, every 3 months I had to leave town. The wind changed or something and I had to see something new that I hadn't seen before. Even a trip to a Farmer's Market in a town over worked wonders.
Now, it is the same ol' same ol'. And despite claims of wanting to do "things" on the weekends, the family seems to hit the same rut weekend after weekend. When something is "done" it is of the same - Disney or Sea World. I am convinced there are other family friendly things to do in this town, but others like the familiar. I am truly bored with the familiar.
So I am trying to focus on my training and plan our trip to Seattle. It's my adventure for the year I wager. Mr. Darcy keeps reminding me we're going on a cruise to the Bahamas. I know it will be fun, but it is a formula. You get on the cruise, the food is there, the pool is there, the stop is here with its set possibilities of itineraries. Don't get me wrong, I know it will be fun and I will have a great time and return rested. But some part of me likes the planning of it all, the not knowing if the plan will work out and what will ensue when things don't go according to plan, the researching and mapping, the running around at warp speed with your hair on fire.
Perhaps I'm having a midlife crisis. I don't feel like I am at a crisis, but I do feel like I am wanting more - and isn't that really what a midlife crisis is? Looking at where you are in your life and thinking "this is it?" I was never one of those women with a plan for her life. I know people who said by this age I'll be married, by this age I'll be a successful career woman, by this age I'll have children. Me? Nope. I had plans for a successful career and then discovered that wasn't really what I wanted after all. Maybe I picked the wrong career, but I want to perpetually be learning and somehow making a difference in the lives of others... not exactly what I'm doing right this moment. And of course, I have no idea what "job" or "career" that might be, especially because I want to have the time to spend with my children as well. Other than that, my plan was to not get married and not have children so I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. But what exactly that was, I figured it would reveal itself as time went on. The notion that the path would appear and I would take it was one I liked (and still do). Turned out that was a young minded notion as I ended up meeting someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with at an extremely young age (right before my 18th birthday) and then eventually wanting to have little babies that looked like him.
So the mystery is still unfolding. Perhaps I'm right where I'm supposed to be and this is part of my path... it just seems so unexciting. The same routine repeated on a daily basis. I'm left wanting more, but not exactly sure what that more should be.
I guess that's why I like my triathlon training so much. It's a challenge every day and it changes from day to day. Some days it's hard just to get it done, and some days it's something I've not done before. But all the time it's leading me to the same goal.
Speaking of training, I have been bad. Not with the training, I've done all my training like a good girl. But with my drinking of water. I am back on the wagon again though because my body got even with me last night. It gave me a warning shot Monday in the pool when my foot cramped up, but I thought it was from using the zoomers. As a kid, I always got foot cramps after using flippers so I thought it was that. No, last night in the middle of the night while I was sleeping, my hamstring and the other muscles in the back of my right quad clamped down into the hardest cramp that I have had in a very, very long time. It was at the point that I woke up screaming and couldn't' get it to release for 2 minutes and finally got it stretched to where it would stop. Poor Bill didn't know what to do - and in my sleepy state, I wasn't exactly sure what to do either.
So I started my day with a cup of Gatorade and a glass of water (in addition to the 1st part of my breakfast before the workout). After swimming, I drank my Recoverite and now am wandering out to the garage to get enough bottles of water to line up on my desk for a total of 98 oz. of water. No more messing with failure to properly hydrate.
My father once explained to me that I was a "social butterfly" and fit myself to every interaction. I didn't see it back then (I was 15 at the time), but I fully admit it now. I like to have an outfit for every occasion (despite my complete inability in the past 3 or 4 years to shop for clothing due to pregnancy and/or Mommy duties and that this has led to a scarcity of the necessary outfits causing me great consternation), and know what to say to who and when, and when at a loss I love to observe and figure things/people out. My favorite and least favorite things in this world are people. Favorite because people are wonderful and you learn so much from everyone you encounter, and least favorite because people can be cruel, selfish and hateful. (I avoid these kinds of people, who I call poison people.) But the only way to find out which category someone will be in (favorite vs. least favorite) is to talk to them and get to know them a bit. And that is where my joy rests.
Working from home has its benefits: no commute, no parking issues, savings on gas, no one to talk your ear off when they and you really need to be working but not wanting to be rude. But it has its detractors too: stuck in your house from sun up to sun down some days, no one to talk to, no one to have lunch with, only the sound of your dog or the clock to keep you company, the fact that you are technically "always available," not wanting to wear pajamas but feeling silly if you get dressed like you would if you were going into the office, etc.
Sometimes this doesn't bother me, but there are cycles of things where I end up in a funk. I realized this morning that I am completely in a funk right now. Other than our trip for our niece's birthday party this weekend, I only left the house for training sessions and to pick my children up from daycare at the end of the day. Yesterday I just wanted to get out. When I went to get my girls from daycare, I realized yes I want to carry my camera everywhere I go but I really don't go anywhere. So I took a picture of the view out of my office window and then discovered that the house computer won't turn on so I have no way to even download it to include in the blog today.
I think part of it is that Team in Training is over until next year for me, and it had set places and times where I would train with others. It sometimes was stressful to get places on time, but I loved being with other people. Now, most of my training is done alone. I try to train with others at least once a week, but it's not as "required" as before so it's easy to slip into the dutiful Mommy and wife role and be hanging about the house even when Bill says he can handle it. But really I just want to run away and join the circus some days - a sense of adventure that is not lacking. I am a nomad by nature. Before the girls were born, every 3 months I had to leave town. The wind changed or something and I had to see something new that I hadn't seen before. Even a trip to a Farmer's Market in a town over worked wonders.
Now, it is the same ol' same ol'. And despite claims of wanting to do "things" on the weekends, the family seems to hit the same rut weekend after weekend. When something is "done" it is of the same - Disney or Sea World. I am convinced there are other family friendly things to do in this town, but others like the familiar. I am truly bored with the familiar.
So I am trying to focus on my training and plan our trip to Seattle. It's my adventure for the year I wager. Mr. Darcy keeps reminding me we're going on a cruise to the Bahamas. I know it will be fun, but it is a formula. You get on the cruise, the food is there, the pool is there, the stop is here with its set possibilities of itineraries. Don't get me wrong, I know it will be fun and I will have a great time and return rested. But some part of me likes the planning of it all, the not knowing if the plan will work out and what will ensue when things don't go according to plan, the researching and mapping, the running around at warp speed with your hair on fire.
Perhaps I'm having a midlife crisis. I don't feel like I am at a crisis, but I do feel like I am wanting more - and isn't that really what a midlife crisis is? Looking at where you are in your life and thinking "this is it?" I was never one of those women with a plan for her life. I know people who said by this age I'll be married, by this age I'll be a successful career woman, by this age I'll have children. Me? Nope. I had plans for a successful career and then discovered that wasn't really what I wanted after all. Maybe I picked the wrong career, but I want to perpetually be learning and somehow making a difference in the lives of others... not exactly what I'm doing right this moment. And of course, I have no idea what "job" or "career" that might be, especially because I want to have the time to spend with my children as well. Other than that, my plan was to not get married and not have children so I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. But what exactly that was, I figured it would reveal itself as time went on. The notion that the path would appear and I would take it was one I liked (and still do). Turned out that was a young minded notion as I ended up meeting someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with at an extremely young age (right before my 18th birthday) and then eventually wanting to have little babies that looked like him.
So the mystery is still unfolding. Perhaps I'm right where I'm supposed to be and this is part of my path... it just seems so unexciting. The same routine repeated on a daily basis. I'm left wanting more, but not exactly sure what that more should be.
I guess that's why I like my triathlon training so much. It's a challenge every day and it changes from day to day. Some days it's hard just to get it done, and some days it's something I've not done before. But all the time it's leading me to the same goal.
Speaking of training, I have been bad. Not with the training, I've done all my training like a good girl. But with my drinking of water. I am back on the wagon again though because my body got even with me last night. It gave me a warning shot Monday in the pool when my foot cramped up, but I thought it was from using the zoomers. As a kid, I always got foot cramps after using flippers so I thought it was that. No, last night in the middle of the night while I was sleeping, my hamstring and the other muscles in the back of my right quad clamped down into the hardest cramp that I have had in a very, very long time. It was at the point that I woke up screaming and couldn't' get it to release for 2 minutes and finally got it stretched to where it would stop. Poor Bill didn't know what to do - and in my sleepy state, I wasn't exactly sure what to do either.
So I started my day with a cup of Gatorade and a glass of water (in addition to the 1st part of my breakfast before the workout). After swimming, I drank my Recoverite and now am wandering out to the garage to get enough bottles of water to line up on my desk for a total of 98 oz. of water. No more messing with failure to properly hydrate.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
The Craziest Thing is...
The craziest thing is that out of today's training session, the 3 mile run at the end was enjoyable. In all of my strangest realities, a run was not something I would ever have described as enjoyable. Yet, today, I had a nice time and enjoyed myself as I took in the scenery. The correct response to this normally would be what I said to Ladybug the other day when she declared that she liked carrots and proceeded to eat all of her carrots, "who are you and what have you done with the real you?" But it is true, the evolution of my running appears to be nearing completion in that I am actually enjoying my runs lately. Of course, they've all been 3-4 mile runs as of late so we'll probably have to reassess after Friday's 7 miler. But I have a feeling, I'm going to have enjoyed it more than I used to.
Of course, I had just spent 20 miles on the trainer attempting to stay in aero as long as possible and I had to use my road bike because the seat is loose on the tri-bike. (I have to take it in to get the seat repositioned and tightened so it does not move.) First, I must admit that I hate the trainer. Staring at the grill of the fireplace screen while pedaling away is not my idea of a good time. I love to ride outside. The scenery, the wind in my face, paying attention to all that is around me to prevent harm to my person, it all keeps you in the moment and enjoying it. The trainer could put you to sleep if you let it. But, I finished my 20 miles staying in aero as much as possible, which was probably about 3/4 of it because I didn't stay in aero for the 1st 15 minutes as I warmed up or when I drank or ate some nutrition, or when fast forwarding through commercials in "What Not to Wear." This weekend was the most enjoyable bike ride of my short cycling career and today (perhaps because Saturday was so wonderful) was the most boring.
But that is life, as they say. Poor Mr. Darcy has a headcold and is feeling rather poorly. Moping about a bit, grumpier than usual, with a cough and a stuffy head. I want him to feel better, but I don't want to catch it either. So let's keep our fingers crossed. I had hoped we'd get started on painting the rest of the kitchen and breakfast nook in the evenings after the girls are in bed, but with him feeling so poorly I'd rather he rest and feel better soon.
Other than that, life is somewhat quiet at the moment. Knock on wood and all that. A moment's peace is not such a terrible thing!
Oh, and I have come to the decision that I want to start carrying a camera with me wherever I go... which should be interesting since I don't really "go" that many places on a daily basis. I do my training - usually in the neighborhood or the usual training spots (Lucky's Lake, the airport bike loop, Lake Highland HS, the neighborhood, LA Fitness, etc.) - and work from the house, and pick the girls up from daycare. There is little moving about really, but on a regular basis I have had those moments when I said to myself, "I wish I had a camera just now." So I will have to find our camera and continuously have it on my person.
Of course, I had just spent 20 miles on the trainer attempting to stay in aero as long as possible and I had to use my road bike because the seat is loose on the tri-bike. (I have to take it in to get the seat repositioned and tightened so it does not move.) First, I must admit that I hate the trainer. Staring at the grill of the fireplace screen while pedaling away is not my idea of a good time. I love to ride outside. The scenery, the wind in my face, paying attention to all that is around me to prevent harm to my person, it all keeps you in the moment and enjoying it. The trainer could put you to sleep if you let it. But, I finished my 20 miles staying in aero as much as possible, which was probably about 3/4 of it because I didn't stay in aero for the 1st 15 minutes as I warmed up or when I drank or ate some nutrition, or when fast forwarding through commercials in "What Not to Wear." This weekend was the most enjoyable bike ride of my short cycling career and today (perhaps because Saturday was so wonderful) was the most boring.
But that is life, as they say. Poor Mr. Darcy has a headcold and is feeling rather poorly. Moping about a bit, grumpier than usual, with a cough and a stuffy head. I want him to feel better, but I don't want to catch it either. So let's keep our fingers crossed. I had hoped we'd get started on painting the rest of the kitchen and breakfast nook in the evenings after the girls are in bed, but with him feeling so poorly I'd rather he rest and feel better soon.
Other than that, life is somewhat quiet at the moment. Knock on wood and all that. A moment's peace is not such a terrible thing!
Oh, and I have come to the decision that I want to start carrying a camera with me wherever I go... which should be interesting since I don't really "go" that many places on a daily basis. I do my training - usually in the neighborhood or the usual training spots (Lucky's Lake, the airport bike loop, Lake Highland HS, the neighborhood, LA Fitness, etc.) - and work from the house, and pick the girls up from daycare. There is little moving about really, but on a regular basis I have had those moments when I said to myself, "I wish I had a camera just now." So I will have to find our camera and continuously have it on my person.
Monday, June 1, 2009
The Plot Revealed, Aerodite, and the Run that Wasn't
The last I wrote, the plot regarding an adventure was thickening but nothing seemed to be really moving... other than my discovery that the taxes on airfare overseas made them rather cost prohibitive for a family of 4 that includes 2 children around the age of 3. It would be one thing if they were 12 or some such age where they would actually get something out of a European country, but at the age of 3 it does not matter.
Thanks to a world points misunderstanding on my part, we were able to get all 4 tickets (although not direct flights like I was looking at) for less than our total worldpoints between the two of us. So, we are going to Seattle this October! YAY! The plan is to go to Seattle, see what we can see, hopefully see some family as well since 2 of my uncles and aunts live out there and 1 of my cousins (none of whom have yet to personally meet A&M), and to cross over the border into Canada to see Vancouver. I am rather excited and now have to get the girls their passports and work on the other details of the trip (like which hotel, car rental and such).
we decided that the fam would head to Mr. Darcy's parents in Orange Park so that we could spend time with his parents and attend our niece's 5th birthday party Sunday evening. We got there around 5ish and had dinner, and somewhere I fell asleep afterwards. I felt so terrible that I did but I couldn't help myself. I only woke when Mr. Darcy said he was going to put the girls down for the night. I helped and then went to sleep myself.
I did some research on flights, hotels, car rentals and the like. Finally after hearing that my sister in law and brother in law had taken an overnight trip without their children for their 10th anniversary, I lost my ability to control my frustration in our long string of conversations that never resulted in a decision. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law are not big travelers, so I guess for whatever reason their hour long trip away from their house for a romantic 2 days was enough for me to lose all sense of reason. But, I didn't yell or nag. I just said that I wanted us to get things settled. I am doing my best to ask directly for what I want these days. So the decision was Trip or no trip, primarily because we needed to get things booked before June 1 if we wanted to be able to get the best out of our world points.
Thanks to a world points misunderstanding on my part, we were able to get all 4 tickets (although not direct flights like I was looking at) for less than our total worldpoints between the two of us. So, we are going to Seattle this October! YAY! The plan is to go to Seattle, see what we can see, hopefully see some family as well since 2 of my uncles and aunts live out there and 1 of my cousins (none of whom have yet to personally meet A&M), and to cross over the border into Canada to see Vancouver. I am rather excited and now have to get the girls their passports and work on the other details of the trip (like which hotel, car rental and such).And no, in case you're wondering, I did not misspell Aerodite. That is the name of my new bike. She is definitely the goddess of beauty and love BUT she is quite aerodynamic and a dream to ride, thus my tweaking of the spelling of her name so that it perfectly fits. And to think I contemplated calling her Rosa. Much too mundane for my lovely lady! I am completely in love with her. I rode 40 miles on Saturday, which I've never done before, and was pretty darn fast (by my standards) even though I was only using the small gears while I got used to steering in aero, etc. It was wonderful and I could walk afterwards with no problems. My legs weren't nearly as tired and I felt so efficient and fast. I am much more confident that I will be able to do the 56 mile bike (with all its hills) by the September 70.3 now. And I feel so lucky! I would not have been able to buy such a bike for a very long time had I not won it!
After returning from my ride with the rest of the red bike brigade (as named by Missy... and photographed by the same),
we decided that the fam would head to Mr. Darcy's parents in Orange Park so that we could spend time with his parents and attend our niece's 5th birthday party Sunday evening. We got there around 5ish and had dinner, and somewhere I fell asleep afterwards. I felt so terrible that I did but I couldn't help myself. I only woke when Mr. Darcy said he was going to put the girls down for the night. I helped and then went to sleep myself.The next day we spent with Mr. Darcy's parents and the girls around the house and at their neighborhood pool. Then it was naps for all and on to the birthday party. Angelfish and Ladybug were so well behaved and had a wonderful time, as did we.
As for the run that wasn't, well. This morning's workout as set by my coach was a 60 minute run keeping your heart rate under 135 walking as necessary to accomplish this. So essentially I had to briskly walk 50 of the 60 minutes because anytime I tried to run or jog or barely jog my heart rate went up to 140 or higher (152 being the highest I let it go before walking). Finally, the last 10 minutes of the session I was able to jog at the slowest pace I was capable of producing and my heart rate actually stayed under 135 (although it was 132-134 the entire time and did touch 135 once or twice). FRUSTRATING. I emailed my coach afterwards and she said she did it to show that we need to teach our bodies to be more efficient to keep our heart rate down and she was waiting for the emails to come in from everyone. So, I guess I will be in good company when we meet for our swim workout this evening, but man did I want to run, run, run and all I did was walk, walk, walk (briskly). I guess all I can do is focus on each day at a time and hope to improve along the way.
Speaking of which, the girls were champs in the potty training arena. Ladybug only had 3 accidents the entire weekend, 2 of which were nap time related. Whoo hoo! May the dry pants continue!
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