What a Day...

My day started with a bang and has been a busy one! This morning I dragged myself out of bed, wanting more sleep and with nerves. Not nerves like Sunday before the race "something's gonna happen" nerves, thank goodness. More like, nerves because I had a 1 1/2 hour bike on the schedule which meant facing the demons that were from the crash.

Yes, I know I got up after the crash and finished the race... but I wasn't thinking about crashing then. I was thinking about finishing. I've had a few days to mentally deal with the scrapes and cuts (that are starting to itch, which means they're healing!) and the muscle pains that are still lingering. With the knowledge of the crash and my boo-boos, I had to get on a bike and ride it.

And ride it I did! I did my best to keep up with my friend Ryan today. I don't know if he was taking pity on me, taking it easy, or if I was just having a good bike day, but I was able to keep up with him and even sustained 18 mph for a good stretch in part of the ride! I think we averaged around 16.5 to 17 mph for the entire ride. As I rode with him and he told me that he had a run to do after the bike (and I did not) and we were passed by some of the really fast cyclists in our morning group, I realized that I am an unlikely athlete for whom sports do not come easy and that most likely my Coach recognizes this too and perhaps was why I didn't have a run scheduled after too. (Or it could have been that I crashed my bike on Sunday or that I have back issues.) But it made me wonder if I am chasing a pipe dream with my triathlons. Do I really have the stuff that makes a good athlete?

Later as I was driving home after the bike, I realized that I may never be a fast athlete. I may never run a 7 minute mile, finish a half-iron man in less than 5 hours, or swim as fast as I would like in an open water competition. But it really doesn't matter. I am a triathlete because I like it. I like the challenge. I like seeing what I can do. The problem is that competitive streak I have. I see someone else do it faster or "better" than I can do it, and I not only want to do it too but also belittle my accomplishments as "not good enough." I think the problem is that my brain knows that I am an athlete because I want to be and I try to be, but my ego wants more. I need to focus on what I can do and try not to pay as much attention to what other people do.

I got home just in time for work and had a deluge of things to take care of... questions, minor fires to put out, regular work to accomplish, a report to complete. Plus, I had to fit a shower in because this afternoon I had a cardiology appointment. It was 12:20 before I knew it and I was jumping in the shower and getting dressed in something other than my sweaty (and most likely smelly) cycling attire. Back to the desk to take care of one or two more things before hitting the road.

Cardiology. I think cardiology is really interesting. What I think is even more interesting is that with a few electrodes and a little machine you can see the rhythm my heart is taking. No arrithmia, thank goodness. Then more waiting. Someone had a cardio issue in another room, so the doctor was a little late to talk to me. We talked about the family history of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart attacks, hardened arteries, and the like. He looked at my recent cholesterol test of 194 and said hmmm. This one number is 129. For other people that's ok but with your family history this should be under 100. To which I replied, "C'mon. That's my good cholesterol test!" He laughed. We talked about what's been going on with my blood pressure, which was 151/87 in his office and he declared too high especially with the triathlon training I'm doing.

So, tomorrow I go for specialized blood work. A test to see how "sticky" my cholesterol plaque is, one to see something else that I can't remember at the moment, and yet another to tell them what type of cholesterol I have - not just LDL vs Triglicerides, etc. but what size they are. Turns out big bouncy LDLs are less scary than the densely packed small LDLs. Which ones I have determine my propensity for more serious heart disease issues.

When I get back from the cruise, I'll be going back for a stress test and an echocardiogram. And they'll give me a special 24 hour blood pressure cuff that I'll have to wear for 24 hours (obviously) and that will take my blood pressure about every 20 minutes until 10 pm at which point it will then go to every hour. Then I'll take it back to them and they'll download my data.

The following week, I will find out the results. Being the eternal optimist, I am hopeful that nothing will be wrong at all. But the realistic side of my brain says we'll just have to wait and see what they say. He's already determined what class of blood pressure medicine he would put me on, if he needs to put me on such a thing. It's one that won't keep me from my triathlon training or competing on triathlons. As the doctor put it, the triathlons will do me a lot of good so we don't want to mess with that.

And I asked the dreaded question... do I need to cut back at all on training for my Half-IronMan in September? Happily, the answer he gave was "no." At this point, he said, keep doing what you're doing.

So while I have yet one more item for my to do list before our cruise, I'm feeling pretty good about the cardiology front. Sure, I'd rather not have to worry about it at all, but I'd also rather get everything looked at and be able to be around to see my grandchildren graduate from college and get married and have great-grandkids. All scheduled, I headed back to work. And then to do my blog.

And now to get the girls... we'll see how it all goes! Wish me luck!

Life is Good, Busy, and Sweaty

Yes, all that applies to my life at the moment.

Life is Good.
I went to the chiropractor yesterday and he told me he wants me to have an MRI of my back because he thinks that I may have a swollen disk. A swollen disk would explain why I have recurrent nerve pain when I run despite the adjustments and treatments (water massage bed, nerve stimulation, and from time to time decompression... I have to say I love the water massage and the decompression, which I jokingly call "the rack" to the lady that is the decompression technician). This did not make me happy one bit, especially when he told me that the "cure" to a swollen disk is to stop running. I told him I would think about it because 1) it was expensive and 2) I didn't want to hear that I needed to stop running as a definitive answer, but I also don't want to permanently damage myself. What I wanted to do was cry and I felt a little panicky. I think he sensed this and told me I didn't have to make a decision right then and that we could keep doing the treatments because it would help the situation but just not cure it. He also told me that I could still do my triathlon on Sunday and that he's not saying that I can't run. He's just saying he wants to investigate the situation further and that I currently will not do any permanent damage to myself with my training.

So why is life good? Well, Mr. Darcy has concerns about the cost of the MRI so I (at present) plan to be blissfully ignorant. I will keep going to the chiropractor and doing my stretches, and have promised the doctor to ice my back 10 minutes each day. And after talking to my Coach, she said that if worst came to worst, I'd just have to walk the runs. So in the end, I do not have to give up what I love. I may go to a sports doctor to see what they say about the whole thing too.

The girls and I also got to see the space shuttle lift off last night from our front yard, and then had a nice time watching it on TV since our neighbors DVR'd it and invited us in for a few minutes.

And, I read a blog of a person named NieNie (see my blog list... I don't know how to do the links yet) who is absolutely amazing. She survived a plane crash with her husband because her husband went back into the crashed planed (that was on fire) to save her and she (and he) suffered multiple burns over a large portion of her body, including her face. Her most recent post made me realize even more that I have a good life... and so does she.

Life is Busy.
Where to begin? Training, of course takes time. I have a seminar to teach next week, and craziness surrounding that seminar. Mr. Darcy has a deadline next Friday, of which he informed me that he will be working extremely late nights next week. I have a hair appointment at noon today, packet pickup tomorrow (not to mention getting a new seat installed on my bike and a tune up for Sunday's race). This Saturday is Mr. Darcy's 1st Tri, and Sunday is my 2nd Olympic Distance Tri. We're also excited because my friend Angela's sister, Anna, is going to visit us this weekend too. Angela's husband and his parents and niece and nephew are to be in town at Disney this weekend and we're to meet with them for dinner one night. Next week I have a dentist appointment, seminar to teach, cardiologist appointment, chiropractor appointment, evening conference call, and I have to get ready for our cruise. Mr. Darcy's parents will be watching the girls while we are on our cruise, and they'll be arriving sometime next weekend as well. SO, as I said, Life is Busy (with a capital B).

Life is Sweaty.
It's hot. Florida is hot as all get out. And muggy. Did I mention muggy? It was already in the 80's when I got to bike this morning... and muggy. Sweat pours off of you like you're showering in it. It gives new meaning to the bike and run... even the swim. The water in the lake for this weekend is predicted to be in the 80s. Hot. Water. Better than cold. I'd rather sweat during the swim than shiver during it. Training makes you sweat, and Florida makes you drenched with it.

I'll eventually get used to the heat. It just might take a few years... and then I'll be wearing wool coats when it's 50 degrees.

But, most importantly, life is good.

My Adventures in Making an Infomercial...

I’m back from Charlotte, NC! You didn’t even know I’d been missing – other than the lack of blog postings, did you?. : ) I was off to my “big debut” into the infomercial world.

I left Tuesday morning for Charlotte. But let’s back it up. Tuesday morning I was stressed. Super stressed. It all started Monday late afternoon when I headed off to the mall to find a new suit to wear. I hate to admit it, but I had been putting off buying a new suit until I had gotten rid of my baby weight and was back to my “old” body. I even procrastinated over the 4th of July weekend.

Three years after the birth of Angelfish and Ladybug, several realizations finally came to me: 1) it is highly unlikely I will ever get back to my “old” body due to the spreading of my hips and my rib cage (Twins are a gift but they also do crazy things to your body while in gestation.) and my PCOS issues; 2) the last time I bought a new suit was in 2003 or 2004 before I went in-house and no longer have to wear suits on a daily basis; 3) squeezing myself into the old pre-baby suits is not as attractive as I could look; and 4) I am going to be on television. I decided the need for a new suit could no longer be denied. It is no secret that I do not like the way my body looks. I avoid mirrors and having my picture taken… unlike a vampire, it’s not that I fear my image won’t show up; I fear that I will definitely show up and not like the way I look. If a skirt is too long or too short, my legs end up looking like tree trunks. If a pair of pants waist is a little too high or too low, I look pregnant if you look at me from the right angle.

All the training for triathlons has helped my body. I am more muscular instead of more flabby (although I still have some fat too), except for my stomach. The irony that is my stomach is this: the stronger the muscles underneath my stretched out skin get, the looser the skin gets. Sure it doesn’t stick out as far as it used to when there was more fat under there, but it sure sticks out. I even tried what a girlfriend of mine calls the gift from heaven, “spanx.” For me, it didn’t really do much to change the situation… maybe I need a smaller size because it doesn’t seem to pull things like described by my friend. While I can pull the skin out, stretch it and even pull it up to my rib cage, I cannot make it disappear. I never realized how vain I was until my old body was gone and I was left with the one I have. Trying to find the beauty in what is left, is rather difficult. So, to say the least, I do not like to shop and generally having small people in tow helps me have an excuse not to do it. Of course, this also explains my complete lack of a decent wardrobe… But off I went. The quest in hand – the search for a black suit.

First stop, Florida Mall which has a Macy’s, a Dillards, a Nordstroms, and a Saks Fifth Avenue. Should be perfect. Uh, yeah. I either didn’t like the suits they had or they were complete inappropriate (hot pink? Black skirt and short sleeve green blazer?). Definitely not the attire I was looking for. I did find one nice brown houndstooth pantsuit, which I bought because it was a beautiful suit and I will have the occasion to need more than one suit… plus I don’t need to wear black suits every time.

Then I asked where the local Ann Taylor was. Pre-baby, these were the suits that fit the best and they never were lacking in the black suit department (remember this is like 2003/2004) and, that’s what I’d been squeezing myself into, so I had a general idea of what size I probably needed. I get in the car and start driving. I called a friend to find out directions, and followed what she said to discover she told me to go East when she meant West on the highway, turned around and passed the exit I needed, circled back around and finally got to The Mall of the Millenia. I headed straight to Macy’s, which had exactly the same selection as the other mall. On to Ann Taylor. They aren’t really carrying suits right now. Huh? The only suit they had was on clearance (cool) but they were completely out of the blazer. I need a suit, not pants or a skirt!

So, I go to Banana Republic, a place that I typically do not do well in because I have to go up a size from what I wear pretty much everywhere else and post-baby this used to make me hit a number that I refused to allow myself to buy for that kind of money. But, while still in double digits, one heck of a lot better than I used to be… and the black suit that they had and the suit shirts they had fit so well that I didn’t even need to get a tailor. I was tired – 4 hours after I started the quest – but feeling pretty happy that I got a suit and it wasn’t teetering on plus size.

Until I got home and totally freaked out because somewhere they didn’t ring up or give me the blue shirt that I REALLY had wanted to wear on TV because I thought it made me look pretty. There’s not a lot that I think makes me look pretty these days, so melt down central.

Poor Mr. Darcy had to endure the meltdown that resulted from 4 hours worth of my looking at my body under florescent lighting making my stomach looking even more like whale blubber than it normally does. I called the store and even with the miracle of fed ex, the timing would not work out.

After finishing my packing and recovering from the meltdown (hopefully poor Mr. Darcy has as well), you would have thought that Tuesday morning I would be jumping on my bike for a 25 mile ride. Nope. I just wanted to be home with my girls as long as I could, get some work done that I didn’t want to pile up before I left, and just go to the airport. Which is what I did. I optimistically told myself that I would run 4 miles when I got to the hotel before I went to dinner with my cousin and her new husband. Nope.

I called my cousin who got a hold of her husband and they came and picked me up pretty much right away. While I waited the half hour for them to arrive, I watched 1 ½ episodes of “The Golden Girls.” But I was in a better mood. And I had a great time with my cousin and her hubby. Ate at the best Mexican restaurant I’ve ever been to, even better than my old favorite – which is rather tough to beat. But move over Nuevo Laredo Cantina, Cantina 1115 has taken over top billing. All I can say is this: incredible house margaritas, guacamole, chicken Milanese tacos, and even (bad girl that I am) Nutella peanut butter pie (we split it 3 ways). No place better. Perhaps part of my problem is my love for food too.

Wednesday morning, I got up and biked 25 miles on the stationary bike in the hotel gym. I figured it would be better to leave out 4 miles running instead of 25 miles biking in the big scheme of things. Plus, if I get myself motivated enough, it would be easy enough to squeeze that into my Sunday morning than the 25 mile bike.

I missed my sweet Aerodite, even if I have seat issues with her. Stationary bikes are just not the same. I am definitely stronger than I was, doing a random hill program for 25 miles in level 10 and level 9… something unheard of several months ago. I laughed when I saw it estimated my mph at around 25 at one point. Definitely not reality. I’ve never gotten above 23 on my bike and that was on a downhill. But, it was completed at least. I read on another blog that sometimes we do not always have to have perfect workouts, but we do need to be present. Yup, that was today. So I’m hoping I’ll squeeze that 4 mile run in sometime soon too.

After doing some work and trying to make myself as beautiful as possible, I finally headed downstairs to check out and wait for the call to go for my filming. I had a grilled chicken sandwich and about 10 fries. It was the best resistance to the fries I could muster… they didn’t have vegetables for substitution. Not the best idea to hit a sports bar for lunch, but I didn’t know where else to go. They were running late due to malfunctioning equipment, so it was set to meet at the law firm’s law library at 1:15 pm. So, I am waiting in the Champion Sports Bar telling myself I’m beautiful, strong, intelligent and ready for the infomercial. The 1st part takes some convincing, but the rest of it I believed in. What’s the saying 3 out of 4 ain’t bad?

When I headed over to the other building, it turned out that it was literally just up the block from my hotel. I was thrilled because I was wearing very cute, but rather uncomfortable shoes. I had a lovely time chatting with the office administrator at the law firm we were filming at while we waited for the camera crew and the General Manager of our sister company to arrive for filming.

I had a great time! I've never done anything like this, so I was kind of nerve wracked but settled down as the make up artist made me beautiful. She did such an amazing job that I honestly had to take a double take when I saw myself in the mirror because I didn't recognize myself. I looked really pretty. Even the camera guy said that with the room we were in and the back drop that I looked amazing on camera. : ) I did my takes pretty easily, not too much stumbling - just once. I had practiced my lines a good bit... I didn't want to make a fool of myself! Then I helped prompt the General Manager for her lead ins, and it turned out she has twins too. So we talked about twins and things like that between takes as they were setting up shots. Then we did the "B-shots" which are basically stuff that's used in the background of voiced over information. I had fun giving pretend legal advice to a pretend client, and thumbing through documents, etc. It was like make believe about stuff I know about - being a lawyer. It took awhile though - getting the scene and the lighting just right, having make up freshened etc. I can see why movies can take a year or more to film!

The "infomercial" is really going to be part of a show with Fred Thompson (of Law and Order fame and a stint as a US Senator) called "Inside Business" that airs on MSNBC and sometimes on the LifeTime Channel. It can also be picked up by random local channels too because it gets put into the FoxFire programming thing. All I know at this point is that it will appear sometime in the Fall, and that hopefully I'll get an email with a more specific date in the future. So keep your eyes open! I'm hoping to DVR it. : )

After we finished filming around 6 pm, the General Manager drove me to the airport and I made my way through security, ate some dinner and got on the plane. The captain announced that we were to expect a pretty rough ride because of the rainy weather and that it had been so turbulent the up and back that they did earlier in the day that there would be no beverage service. While there was, in fact, no beverage service, we also didn't hit any turbulance. Thank goodness because my stomach wasn't feeling overly well.

I made it home and took some pictures of myself with the makeup that was left (which are what you see in this post - I looked even better when the makeup was fresh or freshly touched up... this is several hours later). Mr. Darcy saw me when I walked in and said "look at you all made up!" He was smiling, so I guess he thought I looked good. I was so tired that we just went straight to bed (we'd chatted on the phone on my way home from the airport).

At 3:30 am, I had the unpleasant experience of uhm, GI distress. Followed by periodic recurrences. So there's been no swim practice yet today and the way things are going at this point, no workout will be occurring today. You can't run, bike, or swim with this GI distress. Not sure if it was something I ate or if it's a little virus. Either way, I just hope it ends soon! A not so glamourous end to my adventures...

... but I'm glad to be home to my silly little ladies and Mr. Darcy!

Can't you just see the mischief unfolding in these pictures?

Fun, Fireworks, and Mondays

The 4th of July weekend was, all in all, a good one. We had a lot of fun, despite the obstinancy of little Ms. Ladybug on several occasions and a few non-functioning sets of "listening ears" for Ms. Angelfish here and there. And now it is back to work as it's Monday, yet again.

Friday I woke early and got on the bike for what was intended to be a 40 mile bike and a 3 mile run. I rode a little in the neighborhood before hitting the closed road near the neighborhood, which was fun because no one was up yet. I even rode the traffic circle, which I'm always wanting to do but too fearful for my life most days. Very fun! At first my legs were stiff (due to my lovely stiff back), but they eventually loosened up right around mile 10. Then it really started getting fun until around mile 18, when I began having... ummm... seat issues. This is a bit of a delicate matter that many female cyclists have issues with and we tend to go through different seats trying to fix the problem. By mile 23, I was in such pain that I could not get in aero without involuntarily starting to cry from the pain. So, I stopped and left a message for Coach asking if she had any suggestions (other than purchasing a different bike seat as that wouldn't help in the midst of my ride). I took a breather for a bit - probably about 10 minutes - to let the area decompress a little and then started again. The first length of the loop I probably only pedalled about 60% of the way trying to get myself comfortable again. I don't know what happened but either my brain turned off the pain censor or my nerve endings had it and weren't functioning anymore, but all of a sudden I could pedal and get back into aero. I couldn't go super fast, but I could go at an average of 15 mph.

Right at 37.5 miles, I am doing great and excited about the fact that this is the longest ride of my life (the next longest being 30 miles) and that I'm almost at the 40 mile mark and I'm going 19 mph and sustaining it when I hear SHHHHUUUUUUSSSSHHHH from my front tire and see a rock bouncing away. Yup. Flat tire. At this point, I'm just tired and as I get off the bike my nether regions start complaining again. I decide I'll fix the flat tomorrow and call Mr. Darcy to come and get me. After I call a nice married couple who I've seen riding on the closed road a time or two stop to help and chat. They were wonderful and the husband changed my flat for me. It was great and I got to watch (since I'm still a newbie to the tire changing techiniques) how to change a tire again. He finished right as Mr. Darcy pulled up. I told Mr. Darcy the situation and he said "do you want to ride home to finish the 40 miles?" He said he really didn't mind, so I "raced" him home. I got all 40 miles in and felt great - until I got off the bike and had some uncomfortable pain due to my seat issues and decided that there would be no 3 mile run. Not because my legs and lungs couldn't handle it, but because I was afraid my other areas couldn't handle it.

And right then Coach called with the news that she would email me with the name of the bike seat that two other ladies on the team have used with seeming success and that comes with a 90 day (or 180 day, not sure which) return policy... it doesn't fix your seat issues, you get all your money back. Not cheap from what I understand, but if it can prevent the excruciating pain I was experiencing, then well worth the money.

But I made up for not going on the run with at trip to Sea World. Walking around carrying a 30 pound child should count for something!

Saturday we played around the house, went to the pool, took naps, and headed to see the fireworks. Ladybug woke up ornery from her nap - insisting she was right about everything and that she was in charge. Not so much fun. Luckily she settled down before the fireworks, and we had a nice time seeing the pretty explosions. Even Angelfish enjoyed them a little bit. She admitted they were pretty but declared that they were just too loud for her to like them. Angelfish has very sensitive ears and extremely good hearing, so fireworks are not fun for her delicate ears - even when Mommy or Daddy cover her ears while she covers them too. Next year, I'm thinking industrial strength ear plugs.

Sunday I woke early and contended with small people out of bed at 5:45 am (much to early for them... I was about to go run), got them a little bit settled, leaving Mr. Darcy in charge and went for a 4 mile run. The chiropractor gave me a little lift to use in my left shoe while my back is a little out of wack still - my right leg is longer at the moment than the left. I had a lot less pain than I have been, although I still had some toward the end. But, I was able to run comfortable at a 12.11 mile pace for the 4 miles. Not fast, I know, but getting faster at least.

Afterwards, we went to the Central Florida Zoo with friends of ours and their little ones. We had a nice time even if it was hot as hades. We got there a little after opening time hoping to avoid the heat. Saw some cool animals, which the girls liked - even the poisonous reptiles section. Ladybug kept saying in an incredulous (but not fearful) voice "it's looking right at me!" about a West African Green Mamba (even when it wasn't). Angelfish liked the blue frogs but was nervous that they might get out of the cage and poison her. She liked the elephants much better. I think they liked their popscicles and the splash pad at the zoo the best, though. Then it was home and naps and Mr. Darcy cleaning the garage out (and deciding to put all of our stuff to donate in the back of my car creating a very cluttered and somewhat stressful environment to my car - although admittedly the garage looks great).

This Monday I returned to the pool. It's a recovery week, so it was only a 1200 m swim. 2 x 100 m of it was breathing every 5 strokes. I had to laugh because the first 2 1/2 lengths of the pool breathing every 5 was ok, but then it would start to burn a little for the rest of the way. But, I was able to do it so I was pleased. And even happier to go back to breathing every 3 strokes like I am accustomed to doing for my 500 m swims. It felt odd to get out of the pool after only 1200 meters, but Coach warned against adding distance or extra exercise to this week since it is supposed to be a recovery week. Tomorrow is a 25 mile bike, so let's hope my seat issues have abated enough to let me handle it!

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday weekend full of fireworks and fun! Now get back to work! HAHAHA!

A Return to the Bike

It's been a little more than 1 week since I rode my bike. I was a naughty triathlete and skipped my bike ride last week. This week, I have 2 rides. Today - 25 miles and tomorrow - 40 miles and then a 3 mile run. At first, I thought I was not going to get the 25 miles done, but not for lack of trying.

My back was tight as could be this morning and I had evil nerve pain in my right leg. So I stretched out as best I could while trying to explain to Ladybug that she could not shower with Mr. Darcy because she was a girl and Mr. Darcy is a boy. Angelfish got the concept, but Ladybug was insistent. I somehow ended up distracting Ladybug with a discussion of her clothes for the day during which she informed me "I am 3 years old now. I can be in charge." Having to explain that Mommy and Daddy are in charge because we have more experience didn't work, until I told her that Mommy is 33 years old and that is 30 years older than Ladybug and Angelfish and that when Ladybug is in her 30's she can make all the decisions she likes, but that today she needed to listen to me because Mommy has reasons behind everything she tells her to do. Today the reason is that she needs to get dressed because Daddy has a deadline at work and he has to get there on time. Amazingly, it worked.

As the girls were fighting over backpacks and such this morning, I exited for my bike ride after attempting to get kisses and hugs (to no avail). It was later than I intended to leave, but luckily for me people seem to be vacationing this week - perhaps taking advantage of the 3 day weekend so they only have to use 4 days of vacation time instead of 5. So, my life was not quite as endangered as usual on my way out of the subdivision to the closed road. As I started out, my legs were both complaining - super tight quads with nerve pain. The culprit is decidedly my back. The first 5 miles were excrutiating and somewhat slow. It didn't help that I had a pretty strong headwind either. You know it's bad when you're excited that 5 miles have passed and that means you "only" have 20 to go. But eventually, things loosened up a bit... and oddly getting into aero helped. I think it actually stretches out my lower back a little. Of course, I may end up stiff as ever later (must remember to do stretches).

The road less traveled - Closed Road Heaven!

But the ride, despite the headwind, was a good one. On the up hill side of the loop, I was able to get to 17.8 mph and stay there a bit. And on the down hill side of the loop, I got up to 21.8 and kept that going for about 2 minutes, but ranged around 18.8 to 21.8 most of the 2nd side of the loop. I was one happy girl!

Transformers, more than meets the eye...

The wild life was out in full force today too. And I had my camera... but most of it I missed because they were too fast for me or I was going too fast to stop and take a picture. Here are a few shots I did take, but it was overcast so they didn't turn out that great.

Cranes of some sort, having breakfast

Some things I didn't catch on camera:

• two young deer running along side the road as though they were racing each other. They were going pretty fast - I was going about 17.9 mph at that point and they passed me.
• a brown and white cow that was wandering around in grass that was up to her shoulders and following a yellow moth like butterfly.
• a white crane standing on one leg in the middle of a lake.
• another brown cow walking around a meadow.

Pretty awesome! The deer racing each other was my favorite though.

As for the ride, once things loosened up it was great. I finished off the 25 miles in the neighborhood and was going about 18 mph even though I wasn't in aero. So that was awesome. What was not so "awesome" was that my right leg did not want to unclip (thanks to some mud I picked up while entering and exiting the closed road area) when I was stopping (luckily in my driveway). I always unclip my right leg first. When it wasn't working, I unclipped my left leg and as I went to put it down realized that the bike was going much to slowly (i.e. it pretty much was stopped) and, you guessed it - I fell over. Luckily, my left leg unclipped on the way down but I scraped up my elbow and left leg... and let out a rather loud curse beginning with the letter F. I was just so glad that the Ladybug and Angelfish were not home to hear it. It is definitely one of those words you do NOT want them repeating. And it's one that I very rarely use. I just hope the neighbors kids didn't hear it. Kind of embarrasing to fall and to poison the minds of young children all at once. Bad TriMommy.

But on the bright side of things, I did my 25 miles in less time than it took me to do in my May Olympic triathlon!

Plus, last night the girls and I had a "Girls' Night." They wanted to know if Mr. Darcy was going to be coming home so we could be all together and I had to tell them that Mr. Darcy was going to be working very late because of his deadline. Their little faces were so sad that I wanted to make them feel better. So, I told them that it was okay that Mr. Darcy wouldn't be home because we were going to have a "Girls' Night" and Mr. Darcy was a boy so he couldn't be there with us. They got pretty excited about the idea so we got a pizza, had some ice cream and watched "Sleeping Beauty." After "Sleeping Beauty" and a million "why" questions about everything that happened in the movie, the girls took a bath and got to pretend to be mermaids. Then we turned on this cute lady bug that their Uncle and Aunt gave them for their birthday. It puts some constellations up in the room along with other "stars" and acts as a night light. We sang a few songs and then it was bedtime. It was pretty fun, but let me tell you all those "why" questions can get frustrating. At one point, I pulled what my Dad used to say to me "because I said so." It was after I had tried turning the question around on Angelfish and she said, "I don't know Mommy, I asked you." I also had the joy of trying to explain how potholes are formed to them too. They're really smart 3 year olds, but I'm not quite sure they got it... especially when they touched the pothole and said "but it's not cold or hot, Mommy." But I tried. I'm not one who believes you shouldn't explain things as much as possible because the child is "too young to understand." I might not go into all the details like using the words expansion and contraction, but I do explain. It makes me batty when people say "just make something up, they wouldn't get it anyway." My kids get more than I ever expected they would at such a young age.... like Angelfish bringing me "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein, which is a book that used to be mine as a child. We hadn't read the book in literally 2 1/2 months, and she brought it to me and asked me to read it. I told her I would and she responded, "Do you like this book?" I said, "Yes." And she remembered and said, "But not Daddy. He not like this book and thinks writer looks mean." (There used to be a jacket on the book with Shel Silverstein's picture and he's not smiling. Mr. Darcy thinks he looks mean for a children's author and said so the last time we read the book.) Uh, yeah. Kids get lots of stuff. Anyway, that's my soapbox story of the day.

To sum it all up, my ride was good and animal filled; I had a fun "Girls' Night" with the little ladies (and am looking forward to Mr. Darcy's deadline being over - as is Mr. Darcy); and kids are wicked smart! Now to conquer the work day and my doctor's appointment about my blood pressure...

Tommorow I have off from work as it is the 4th of July Weekend, and I have a 40 mile bike and 3 mile run. If I don't get a chance to blog again until Monday, Happy Independence Day!!! Enjoy your cookouts and your fireworks!!

Work in Progress

Today is a work in progress. I'm tired, but happy. Diligently working, yet not feeling like I'm getting enough done.

Yesterday Mr. Darcy met with some folks that he's helping them design their house and the girls and I decided to go with him. They were meeting at a restaurant and we all needed to eat. When it came to the point for the meeting, I came up with the idea to walk around the corner to the bookstore with the girls so that they could talk. The little ladies were so excited by the prospect of the bookstore they listened, held my hand and were well behaved in the book store. We read about 20 books before Mr. Darcy showed up and I got to look around a little bit. I ended up with 2 travel books for our trip to Seattle (not to mention a suggestion for a gift for my birthday entitled "500 places to take your children before they grow up..." adventures geared toward raising your children in the wonder of the world!) and some titles off the by 2 get 1 free table.

I thought of my dear friend Angela while I was perusing the books. I'm kind of a picky reader. I picked up at least 10 books and read the backs of them, they sounded interesting, so I opened them randomly to read a few pages and if they weren't well written enough, I put them back down and started over. Luckily there were none that I felt the need to write the publisher and ask how they could print such cr@p when I have extremely talented writer friends who get rejection letters. Angela was known to red pen corrections into books before getting too fed up to finish the book. But, I was able (out of a 2 tables full of books) to find 3 to read. One of which I'm not quite sure if it will be that good, but I heard my name being shouted across the store because I needed to return to help with Angelfish while Ladybug tried to make it to the potty with Mr. Darcy. So, fingers crossed.

I didn't get to start reading last night though because we didn't get home until after 9 pm and not only did the girls need to go to bed, but I had to straighten up a little (clean but unfolded laundry and toys) so the cleaning ladies could do what I pay them for today. Not to mention I was tired myself.

This morning I was awoken at 2:50 am by breathing... okay, more like sighing. I opened my eyes to see Ladybug staring at me. I asked if she was okay and she said "pee pee, Mommy." She had already gone in her pajamas, but I helped her change and go the rest of the way in the potty. It turned out to be her 2nd accident of the night - I evidently slept through her first venture into our bedroom and Mr. Darcy woke up. So we discussed that we were going to use pullups for night time, not because she was in trouble but because she was having a hard time at night even though she's doing a great job when she's awake. Ladybug thought it a good idea too. Then she decided she needed to sleep in our bed. After 1/2 an hour, I asked Mr. Darcy if he would mind carrying Ladybug back to her room. I thought she was asleep, and I can't seem to pick her up and carry her back to her room without waking her but Mr. Darcy can do it. But she was still awake and informed us both "I'm going to sleep in my bed." Climbed out of bed and asked for Daddy to walk her back to her room. Two minutes later, Mr. Darcy was back and asleep.

About 5 minutes later, Angelfish was calling "Mommy?" So I wandered over to her room and she met me at the door, "Is it daytime, Mommy? Is it time to get up?" I told her no, it was the middle of the night and time for sleep. Somehow I ended up laying down with her in her bed until she fell sound asleep. By this time it was 4:50 am. I slept pretty hard until 5:30 am when the alarm went off.

I got out of bed with a stiff lower back and stretched and thought, this morning's ride will be interesting. Interesting it was, but in a good way. I did a 30 minute warm up, 2x10 minute intervals in HR Zone 3 followed by 5 min recoveries, and then a 30 minute cool down. During my intervals, I was blazing! I was going 20.7 miles per hour at one point, up hill and for a sustained distance of at least 1 minute. I was ranging from 17 mph up to 21 mph. (Granted the 21.3 mph was down hill, but it wasn't that big of a hill.) I felt like I was on fire... in a good way. I even had to put myself into the large gear shaft just to get my HR up into Zone 3. I just need to keep at it. How awesome would it be to average 20 mph in a tri? I have a bit of a way to go to get there, but that would rock. I'd love to be able to do that by the time I do the 70.3... 56 miles in less than 3 hours would be incredible!

I had to laugh at Mr. Darcy when I spoke to him on the phone as he drove out of town for a meeting on a possible project that he's super excited about. I told him how fast I was going on the bike and he said, "You're going fast! You need to be careful. I'm going to have to worry about you going so fast." Granted, a crash at 20 mph would not be pretty, but the whole point is to go fast!

After my ride, it was work time and one little project after another. Then a quick shower so I didn't smell, plus I couldn't bring myself to go to the hairdresser for a cut with sweaty, salty hair. Off to the hair dresser, starving. A really cute cut, and then off to the deli because at this point I felt like falling over I was so hungry. The best sandwich I have had a in a great long while. Whole grain bread that almost tasted like it came right out of the oven, smoked turkey piled high, with hummus, tomatoes, sprouts, and lettuce all super fresh. What more could a girl ask for?

When I got home the cleaning ladies were working away and the lawn man came to mow and edge. A beautiful house and a beautiful yard. Work waiting for me in my office that I went to straight away.

A call from Mr. Darcy saying he was asked to stay for a 2nd meeting, this one at 4 pm. So he wouldn't be home until 7 and my realizing that he was miscalculating his drive home and he wouldn't be home until 8. This week has been a doozy with all of his evening meetings - Monday was his fraternity alumni association, Tuesday was volleyball, Wednesday was his house project meeting, and tonight a late night at the office. I know he's tired and I miss having our normal evening routine with the girls. But that is how it is some weeks.

Then an email about the when and where for the infomercial I'm to be in for work. Fighting with the online trip planner to get it all worked out. Why offer someone flights that aren't available and not even tell them which of the flights it is that is not available to be booked? Rather frustrating, but I finally figured it out. Not sure why I can't fly direct from Orlando to Charlotte but that I can get a direct flight back. Silliness, I say. Of course, it probably all has to do with the system we're required to use. I can always find better deals and better flights on my own, but have to go through the company system. Then to the hotel booking. It's all settled, so in early July I'll become a "star" (hahaha).

I'm left wondering what this evening will be like since Mr. Darcy said Ladybug was rather moody this morning (my theory is a lack of sleep). I'm hoping we'll be able to have a fun time... perhaps read the new books we bought for bed time. I guess we'll just have to wait and see!

Tomorrow is my 8 mile run and an appointment with the chiropractor. I'm hoping to do my run as directed: negative splits for the 2 halves of the run. Heck, based on Tuesday, I'm just hoping I'll be able to run!

The Plot Revealed, Aerodite, and the Run that Wasn't

The last I wrote, the plot regarding an adventure was thickening but nothing seemed to be really moving... other than my discovery that the taxes on airfare overseas made them rather cost prohibitive for a family of 4 that includes 2 children around the age of 3. It would be one thing if they were 12 or some such age where they would actually get something out of a European country, but at the age of 3 it does not matter.

I did some research on flights, hotels, car rentals and the like. Finally after hearing that my sister in law and brother in law had taken an overnight trip without their children for their 10th anniversary, I lost my ability to control my frustration in our long string of conversations that never resulted in a decision. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law are not big travelers, so I guess for whatever reason their hour long trip away from their house for a romantic 2 days was enough for me to lose all sense of reason. But, I didn't yell or nag. I just said that I wanted us to get things settled. I am doing my best to ask directly for what I want these days. So the decision was Trip or no trip, primarily because we needed to get things booked before June 1 if we wanted to be able to get the best out of our world points.

Thanks to a world points misunderstanding on my part, we were able to get all 4 tickets (although not direct flights like I was looking at) for less than our total worldpoints between the two of us. So, we are going to Seattle this October! YAY! The plan is to go to Seattle, see what we can see, hopefully see some family as well since 2 of my uncles and aunts live out there and 1 of my cousins (none of whom have yet to personally meet A&M), and to cross over the border into Canada to see Vancouver. I am rather excited and now have to get the girls their passports and work on the other details of the trip (like which hotel, car rental and such).

And no, in case you're wondering, I did not misspell Aerodite. That is the name of my new bike. She is definitely the goddess of beauty and love BUT she is quite aerodynamic and a dream to ride, thus my tweaking of the spelling of her name so that it perfectly fits. And to think I contemplated calling her Rosa. Much too mundane for my lovely lady! I am completely in love with her. I rode 40 miles on Saturday, which I've never done before, and was pretty darn fast (by my standards) even though I was only using the small gears while I got used to steering in aero, etc. It was wonderful and I could walk afterwards with no problems. My legs weren't nearly as tired and I felt so efficient and fast. I am much more confident that I will be able to do the 56 mile bike (with all its hills) by the September 70.3 now. And I feel so lucky! I would not have been able to buy such a bike for a very long time had I not won it!

After returning from my ride with the rest of the red bike brigade (as named by Missy... and photographed by the same),

we decided that the fam would head to Mr. Darcy's parents in Orange Park so that we could spend time with his parents and attend our niece's 5th birthday party Sunday evening. We got there around 5ish and had dinner, and somewhere I fell asleep afterwards. I felt so terrible that I did but I couldn't help myself. I only woke when Mr. Darcy said he was going to put the girls down for the night. I helped and then went to sleep myself.

The next day we spent with Mr. Darcy's parents and the girls around the house and at their neighborhood pool. Then it was naps for all and on to the birthday party. Angelfish and Ladybug were so well behaved and had a wonderful time, as did we.

As for the run that wasn't, well. This morning's workout as set by my coach was a 60 minute run keeping your heart rate under 135 walking as necessary to accomplish this. So essentially I had to briskly walk 50 of the 60 minutes because anytime I tried to run or jog or barely jog my heart rate went up to 140 or higher (152 being the highest I let it go before walking). Finally, the last 10 minutes of the session I was able to jog at the slowest pace I was capable of producing and my heart rate actually stayed under 135 (although it was 132-134 the entire time and did touch 135 once or twice). FRUSTRATING. I emailed my coach afterwards and she said she did it to show that we need to teach our bodies to be more efficient to keep our heart rate down and she was waiting for the emails to come in from everyone. So, I guess I will be in good company when we meet for our swim workout this evening, but man did I want to run, run, run and all I did was walk, walk, walk (briskly). I guess all I can do is focus on each day at a time and hope to improve along the way.

Speaking of which, the girls were champs in the potty training arena. Ladybug only had 3 accidents the entire weekend, 2 of which were nap time related. Whoo hoo! May the dry pants continue!

The Best Laid Plans and Revisions

I had the best laid plan in the world for this morning. I was going to rise at 4:30 am, eat, set the trainer up, do my 1.5 hour ride, run for 1/2 an hour and return just in time for the little ones to wake, sleepy eyed and adorable as they do each morning. It was going to be perfect timing.

Fate, it would seem, had other plans. I sometimes wonder what it is that attracts the god of mischief to my daily life. Of course, sometimes the mischief is fun... this morning was a mixed bag. I woke at 3:45 am to the feeling that someone was staring at me. Lo and behold, Ladybug was standing at the side of the bed staring at me through the darkness. I said her name and put my hand on her bottom and sure enough, pee! So, I was up and we went to the bathroom for her to potty and to change. Then she insisted she had to have pajama shorts - not pajama pants, mind you, but pajama shorts - all of which were in the chest of drawers in the bedroom she shares with her sleeping sister. Not wanting to wake said sister, I said no. This led to crying and wailing and perhaps even some gnashing of teeth, although I might have been the one gnashing the teeth, it's hard to tell it was so early. Being desirous of at least a few more moments of sleep, I caved. By this time, Mr. Darcy had woken up and was trying to calm Ladybug down also. Finally, quiet. And then I literally had the feeling that right as I was finally about to sleep again the alarm was going to go off. Just as I had the thought, the alarm went off.

Up again. This time getting ready, eating breakfast, setting up the trainer. Angelfish comes out looking worried and the moment she sees me, she lifts her arms up to be picked up. I pick her up and soothe her and bring her to the bathroom to use the potty. We talk a little and it turns out that she had a bad dream. I can't quite understand what she's trying to explain but evidently there was a bad dream involving the carpet. I take her to her bedroom and lay down with her for a bit, and she asks for a story. So I tell her a story about a guardian angel just for her that is friends with her Mommy and with God & who looks out for her. She starts to fall asleep. Then we hear Ladybug out of the bedroom with her Daddy in tow talking in a very loud voice. I jump up to get her away from the door but Angelfish stays in the bed, so I thought she was asleep. It's not even 5 am yet!

Ladybug is hungry because she heard me eating cereal, and "you should have closed the bedroom door all the way." To which I replied, "I'm up this early because you want me to have at least one day on the weekend off so there are no interruptions to family life. So be nice." Grumpiness abounds at that hour of the morning. I get on the bike at 4:47 am. (I should explain that our alarm clock is set 15-20 minutes ahead of the actual time to ensure we get where we need to go on time.) Ladybug eats her cereal, discovers my during training nutrition and tries to get me to eat some, and I tell her that I'm not going to eat any just yet because I haven't been on the bike very long. Then she wants to know if I'm almost done. I told her that I still have quite awhile to go. Mr. Darcy ushers her off to the bedroom again to try to get some sleep.

Not even 20 minutes pass and Angelfish appears again, but this time with a sly smile on her face. She asks where Ladybug is and I tell her that she's in the bedroom with Daddy because she couldn't' sleep and that she can go in there too. About 5 minutes later, Mr. Darcy appears and gets the "Sleeping Beauty" video. Evidently, the girls watch the video and Mr. Darcy tries to get some sleep. I'm still riding away on the trainer. All works out in the end, but what a fiasco. Angelfish and Ladybug never went back to sleep and Ladybug raised some more Cain at some point while I was still on the bike, but after inquiring if all was well, I was told it was under control.

The trainer included 1 leg drills. I was supposed to do 6, alternating legs each minute. I accidentally did 8 because I wasn't thinking about it and started minute 7 with the left leg and then it dawned on me 30 seconds in, at which point I decided I didn't want to be uneven. (Yes, Coach, I know you read my blog. Turns out yesterday was supposed to be 3x500 negative splits not 2x750, which I remembered wrong from my workouts and so I told on myself in my blog... my brain is not necessarily the best that early in the morning.) Whether 6 or 8, those suckers are hard! Much easier with the right leg than the left. By the end I was able to have a somewhat smooth minute on the right side, but not as much on the left side. Then the rest of the 1.5 hours on the trainer. Something about using the trainer is harder for me than riding on the road, and I certainly was rather sweaty by the end of it.

The 1/2 hour run was actually pretty good, but resulted in my becoming even more sweaty. I was completely drenched by the end of it, but felt good. I did about 2.4 miles in 30 minutes. Not a world record, but rather good for me especially after completing 1.5 hours on the bike just prior. I was pleased, and thrilled to find that I could have gone farther. (Despite the neighbor walking his dog who during my last 2 minutes of the run when I was supposed to be in a lower zone that I should keep up the pace - note to self, I need to get Coach or Mr. Darcy to help me set my heart rate monitor so I can actually train in the various heart rate zones. I told the neighbor I would run faster but it was the end of my 2 hour workout.)

I could use a good nap and some caffeine, and I'm really hungry at the moment, but other than that it all turned out nicely.

As for revisions, it has to do with my plotting for a European adventure. After looking at prices for airfare overseas (well, actually, the taxes and fees associated with overseas travel that turn a $298 airfare into $660), I am now plotting for a Northwestern US/Canadian adventure. Much less pricey (especially since it looks like we can get 3 of the 4 tickets for "free" via points and sky miles), and still something that sounds like fun. Not to mention the discovery of nonstop air travel from Orlando to Seattle, which settled some minds... although a decision has not yet been fully rendered. See Seattle, visit some family (if they're available) when we're there, and venture up to Vancouver as well. The ability to cross another state and a Canadian province off my list of places to go before I die to boot. There is hope.

Still waiting on the tri bike. Called the shop yesterday and they said they thought it would have arrived on Tuesday so they were hoping it would arrive yesterday and they'd call when it was in. No call. It will arrive eventually, I guess. I am just ever so excited.

In other exciting news, Ladybug kept her underpants dry all day yesterday! Day #2 in the victory of the unified forces against the potty training resistance. Let's hope we can go for more! The funny part is that Angelfish is 99.8% potty trained but we have to reward her as well for keeping it up because we can't chance her defection to the potty training resistance. The war of the bladders continues!

A Sputtering Tank

Evidently, my tank is low and definitely sputtering.

I woke up tired this morning after oversleeping and thereby missing my opportunity to join friends for a group bike ride this morning... although it was a bit wet still at our house. So I put the bike on the trainer and started to ride. Then I realized, I didn't have breakfast. I never start a workout without breakfast. At least not since 3 months ago when Coach not so gently explained how I could do serious harm to myself by continuing to do such a thing. But, I didn't have 1 1 /2 hours to wait, so I borrowed a trick from Joe Friel's book The Triathelete's Training Bible. I ate 2 raspberry flavored Hammer gels and got back on the bike.

Within the 1st 3 miles I could tell there was going to be a problem. I was tired, already, and my quads were burning, already. This never happens so early on. Mile 12 is usually the first of these sorts of things and after consumption of shot blocs, things get better. No such luck today. I tried the new method of nutrition consumption my Coach wants me to follow - 4 to 8 oz. of sports drink (although what I used today won't cut it - 3 calories per 8 oz because we were out of Gatorade and I used some Nuun elctrolyte tabs thinking it would be just like Gatorade, um no) every 15 minutes (provided I'm doing 1 hour or more of exercise), and shot blocs for the rest of the calories I need for the activity (500 cal per hour during activity). Realizing that the Nuun was not like Gatorade, I added a shot bloc each 15 minute interval (100 cal in 3 shot blocs). It helped a little but man was I tired. I have never just wanted to stop, but boy did I ever today.

The new bike shorts I bought are great though. Real bike shorts have a ton more padding than the tri shorts, which made things a bit more comfy. I think I'm going to use them up until race day or when I do not have a swim bike brick involved. The funny thing is that I bought a smaller size and even tried them on... and when I tried them on I thought you know I might even need a size smaller, but didn't want to be overly optimistic and bought the size I tried on. I may be buying a smaller size. These were fine but they seemed to fit a little looser than they should. They will do for now, but a smaller size would definitely be better.

Angelfish woke up at mile #3 and wanted Mommy to help her get dressed. She was so cute. She walked up to my bike, and tried to press on the brake lever. I asked her what she was doing and she said, "I am trying to stop you bike!" So, I (of course) stopped and helped her get dressed. Then Ladybug decided she wanted me to help her too, which I did. They were so cute wanting to wear dresses today, and Ladybug promising me (on her own accord) she would keep her underpants dry today at school because she wanted to have popcorn after school today. (4 accidents yesterday, so yes, I'm plying her with popcorn in an attempt to get her back on the potty using track - popcorn is her favorite food other than candy... but I don't give her candy. Only her Grammie and Papa do that.) Then they piled in the car, kisses and hugs were given, waves goodbye, and wishes for a good day expressed, as they pulled out of the driveway.

Then back on the bike, but my body did not want to go. I got myself to 15 miles and that was more difficult than any bike ride I've done in forever and I had to stop - 10 miles short of where I needed to be for the day. I felt like stopping several times during that 15 miles and my legs were like lead. Talk about feeling like a big wuss. Lucky for me I didn't go on the group ride, that would have been embarrasing.

The only thing I can think of is that somewhere I am not eating enough. I have to say that yesterday I wasn't very hungry, so I didn't eat all of my planned meals. It's probably my payback. So I vow to plan out my meals for the rest of the week and next week, and I will stick to the plan. This fueling the machine thing is really quite amazing and a bit complicated. You can't just stick any old thing into the system... unless you want to feel like a slug or cause yourself GI distress... and if you don't put enough in to your body, you can't train as well as you need to. The proper amount of healthy calories divided into the proper proportions of carb, protein, and fats. But how good you can feel (and how far you can go) when you're doing it right... which my tank is telling me I am not quite doing right at the moment. This I will remedy!

I originally had planned to do a 30 mile bike followed by a 30 minute run tomorrow (since I'm taking the day off of work to make a nice long 4 day holiday weekend), but after this morning I have changed the plan. Depending how I feel in the morning, I will either take a complete day of rest or I will run 6 miles. That will then determine whether I have Sunday completely off, or whether I will have a 6 mile run to do before corraling the family off to church. Either way, the 30 miles & 30 minutes will be Saturday morning's adventure. Stay tuned for further details.
: o ) That is, if I don't sleep the entire weekend.

A Weekend of Growth and Choices

This weekend was quite interesting. After a very angry shouting session where I fully expressed myself, and settling down a bit, Ladybug asked me, "Are you happy with me Mommy?" To which I replied, "Yes, honey. You make me so happy. You are wonderful and I love you very much." And made the choice to stop being angry.

A little bit later, Mr. Darcy decided he wanted to go with me for my 45 minute run. So we packed up the girls with snacks, drinks, and got them into the "blue car" and finally set off (about 1/2 an hour later), with Mr. Darcy pushing the car that seems to go by itself. 15 minutes into the run, I hear heavy panting behind me and being generous, I told him we'd walk for 3 minutes. Then we ran another 15 minutes, walked 3 minutes, and ran out the rest of the 45 minutes. Unfortunately, I had purposely skipped 2 sets of 500 calorie meals the day before to prove a point, a stupid point that showed nothing but that it would pay me back on the run. I was able to do the run because I ate some breakfast before the run, but being short on 1,000 calories from the day before doesn't help in the heat and I almost vomited the emptiness of my stomach during the run.

So, afterwards I made the choice to never do something so stupid again. I announced that I will eat what I want, when I want and if that wasn't acceptable then too bad. You have to fuel your tank to do what triathletes do, and you harm yourself when you don't.

I also explained that we all have choices in this world. I do my best to be the best me I can be every day. That is my choice. I chose to eat healthy, whole grains, vegetables, fruits, and lean meats and fish, and train for triathlons, and if that is not enough for my body to become acceptable for others that is their choice, not mine. I am the best me I can be. The others have the choice to accept me as I am and for that to be enough for their own happiness, or they can choose to be unhappy. I cannot control others happiness, nor am I going to spend my life trying to do that. That choice is up to them to make.

The growth that came from that choice was amazing. I always was taught that you should always work at self improvement but to never allow yourself to be proud of yourself. I chose now to no longer believe that. I realize now that I have to be my own best cheerleader because as a dear friend said to me, "Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is because of their own reality, their own dream. Your best is always going to change from moment to moment. Under any circumstances, simply do your best." And I also found some inspiration from Triathlete Life magazine of all places. It was talking about the idea that some people have about who should do triathlons, and really it was up to each person to decide that no matter what shape or weight they start at that they are triathletes and take up the challenge. It all kind of came together.

I can be proud of myself as long as I do not reach the crazy mode of thinking that I am wonderful and can never improve or that I am the absolute "best." So that day I chose to be proud of myself. And I realized that all these years, my dearest friends who have been telling me I'm wonderful are right. I am pretty friggin' awesome to be quite honest. I'm even more lucky to have met people who challenge my notion of myself and inspire me to always improve, to value the wonderful in people, and to learn from others. I have met some amazing people, but I realize now that I am pretty amazing too.

I am smart, hardworking, friendly, kind, caring, a champion of those I love - friends and family alike. I am dedicated to my children and their happiness and their growth into caring and responsible people but without crushing their spirit and what makes them unique. I am supportive of my husband's dreams even when I don't necessarily want the same for myself. I love, honor and cherish my husband for all his faults and opinions, even those that I disagree with. I am accepting of people for all their faults and all their positives, but those that I truly respect are the ones I let into my life. I want to make this world a better place by being in it, and that's why charitable works and being a good friend and a good person and helping those who need it are so very important to me. I believe that we all deserve and have a right to be loved for who we are and that should be celebrated every day. I have endured many hardships in my life but I never want to be a complainer and I try to live each day with happiness and joy. I have my faults too. I am not perfect or a supermodel, and I never will be - no matter how hard I try. But I am the best me I can be on every day that I am on this planet. Some days this means I will be better than other days, but I am the best me I can be and I'm proud of me.

Coming to this realization and this belief made it a lot easier to have a nice rest of the weekend. After our run on Saturday and my epiphany and sharing my epiphany, the girls cracked me up because they wanted to take a shower with me. So we spent time playing in the water, just the 3 of us, which was a hoot. Angelfish and Ladybug truly are little water babies. I think, like their Momma, if they could spend all their time in the water or either on the pool deck or the beach, they'd be happiest of all. Poor Angelfish got shampoo in her eye and claimed that it burned for a good long while, even after I flushed her eye with water a few times. I think she was wanting some Mommy attention, personally. So I bundled her up in a towel and rocked her and snuggled with her on the bed. The next thing I knew Ladybug was trying to wake us up and Mr. Darcy was stopping her. So we napped a little longer.

After our nap, we played until Ladybug got up from her nap and then we played some more until I needed to make dinner for them. Mr. Darcy and I went to a restaurant in Winter Park called Chez Vincent for our anniversary. It was delicious! Perhaps the best meal I have had in an extremely long time. I had venison with sundried cherries and a sauce that was so tender and delicious that it was like heaven. Mr. Darcy had a filet mignon that he said was rather scruptious as well. For desert, we shared a Grand Marnier souffle with a little bit of chocolate sauce. Yum!

Sunday, we finally found a church that we love and plan to become members. Angelfish and Ladybug are to thank really, as they asked (completely unprompted) if we could go to church. I figured, out of the mouths of babes... So, All Saints Episcopal Church is the winner. It too is in Winter Park, but definitely worth our 30 minute drive. Then we had some lunch, did some errands, the girls fell asleep (and so did I) in the car, so we headed to try to buy honey from our local beekeeper forgetting that they are closed on Sunday. Then it was time for the wrap up party for my Team in Training team.

We had a blast - it was a pool party and all were there with good food and their families. Ryan had been raising money for TNT by raffling off a new Orbea bike - either an Onix road bike or the Ora tri-bike, winner's choice. I had already bought a ticket, but the way Ryan was asking for any more interested people for tickets right before the drawing, I was worried that he might not have sold enough tickets to cover the cost of the bike. I told Mr. Darcy that he needed to buy a ticket and Mr. Darcy resisted. Then I told him that he needed to go buy the ticket because I was worried that Ryan might not have sold enough to cover the cost of the bike and that I knew he had a $20 bill in his wallet. Mr. Darcy bought the last ticket.

To make things fair, Ryan mixed up all the tickets in a box, shook vigorously and mixed them by hand as well, and then had little AJ, a 3 year old Leukemia survivor whose Mom Hope was on our team, select the winning ticket. Mr. Darcy won the bike! He says that he is only starting to try to workout and I have been dedicated to my training so I should have the bike. I told him he could have the bike, but he insisted. So, I will be the proud new owner of a gorgeous Orbea Ora Tri-bike. (Pic below for those of you who love bikes...) I am super excited!
A great end to the weekend! This morning I hit a 4 mile run, and ran the entire thing with energy to spare, and this evening I'll have a swim workout as well. My swim gear (kickboard, paddles, buoy, and zoomers) was just delivered, and my heart rate monitor I ordered is in at the bike shop! 70.3 here I come!

A Tired OOPS!

I am back from Atlanta. The seminar went well and the trip, was quick, as usual. It was wonderful to see my colleagues from my old office and spend time chatting and catching up with them, including my paralegal who is really just a very nice guy. But I was ridiculously tired when I got back. There it was only 6 pm and I was having a tough time staying awake while watching an episode of "The Little Einsteins" with the girls. Mr. Darcy had to cook dinner because I couldn't even pull myself off the couch. Ladybug told me that she didn't want me to close my eyes because it was still daytime and she wanted to be with me. So I forced myself to stay awake because with that kind of request, who wouldn't? But the second the girls were in bed, I was too. Sound asleep and I woke up kind of tired still.

In fact, I was so tired that despite dragging out the bike and setting up the trainer to make up for not riding yesterday, I forgot that I had to have blood work done today and that it was fasting blood work and had some breakfast before the 1.5 hours I spent on the trainer, pedalling away to 2 episodes of "What Not To Wear." I remembered when I found the paperwork for my bloodwork for this afternoon's appointment. While I was annoyed with myself because I had to reschedule again (I had a conference call at 11 am that made me bump back the original bloodwork appointment to 3 pm today), I secretly was glad because having to fast until 3 pm today would not have been fun.

As for the ride, I like the aerobars. It was much less taxing on my upper body and my hands did not go numb at any point in the ride like they were doing before. It lets me pedal with a slightly higher cadence too, which I liked. But, I found that it was a bit more difficult overall - breathing wise mainly and the fact that my legs kind of scrape the back of my arms... which may mean we just need to adjust the aero bar fit a little bit. My sensitive parts were even less abused than usual, although still painful after the ride. They may be able to adjust my seat a bit too. So, all and all a pretty good ride, although I find that I can ride faster on the road (and it is more enjoyable) than I can on the trainer and that I can ride in a higher gear. Perhaps I have my trainer a little tight... or maybe I need to work on my leg strength, but I definitely can ride faster on the road.

As for the tiredness, I am (in a wierd sort of way) sort of hoping that I have a thyroid issue (especially since it's enlarged and hypothyroidism runs in the family). That way the medicine will help regulate the issue and I will hopefully not be so tired. Of course, being a mommy to twins, working full time, and training for triathlons may have something to do with being tired too. Plus, maybe it would help in the ability to lose weight department despite my husband's claims that hypothryroidism doesn't affect your ability to lose weight. Everyone I know who has hypothroidism had a hard time losing weight and gained weight until their hypothroidism was brought under control with medicine. But he read something on the Mayo Clinic website about it and about weight loss and now he's the expert.

Anyway. I will keep on chugging along. The ride was good but would have been better if I wasn't so stinkin' tired. Hopefully I'll get some more sleep soon. Tomorrow is a 45 minute easy run at 50% effort. I'll probably have to get up early so as to do it before the girls get up. No rest for the wicked, as they say.

2 days until Race Day, and I feel fine...

Yes, it's true. 1) It is 2 days until race day and 2) that was a bad rip off of REM lyrics (you know, "it's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine... except race day isn't the end of the world. It's super cool!) I am getting excited. Not jittery like I was earlier in the week, but feeling like I'm ready for it and that I am looking forward to the race. Maybe it was that great swim I had yesterday and the wonderful bike ride I had this morning (more on those in a few moments). But I feel alive and ready to go!

Even my horoscope is excited about race day. It said, "Today can be best spent organizing your resources and cataloging your talents. It is likely you have specific goals you hope to achieve in the near future, and while you no doubt possess all you need to move forward, you may be unsure as to how to begin (I think this is in reference to packing and getting my home/personal errands taken care of so I can be prepared for the big day). Streamlining your plans can help you better understand the rigors you will eventually face as you pursue your purpose. Accounting for every possibility will likely be impossible, but that should not stop you from preparing yourself as thoroughly as possible for the future. Whatever your dreams, the time you devote to preparations today can help you realize them." I generally like to read my horoscope more for fun than for guidance or direction, and I usually read it at the end of the day to see if it came true (so as to not predispose my mind a certain way). But today, I read it in the morning and I have to say, it's good advice and it's definitely about race day.

So my goal today is to get ready: house, family, errands, laundry, packing (for me, the dog, and if time allows, for , visualization, the whole 9 yards. No extraneous activities (other than work). Just sheer focus and streamlined purpose. A "to do list" is involved, of course... as well as the red pen to cross the items off when complete. For those of my readers who know me personally as well as through the blogosphere, this is (of course) no surprise. Dear Bill once said that I have to do lists for my to do lists.

So far this morning I had a wonderful bike ride with some of the TNT team members. The 14 miles felt good - even the hills were easy. Of course, I was riding easier on purpose as well, but still. I felt great! And after yesterday's swim where I was like a torpedo with great arm strokes (my reach and body rotation was absolutely beauty in motion, if I do say so myself) and body positioning making my 1400 meters seem like nothing, I feel completely on fire. (I was so fast, I left my own personal wake.) I feel like every fiber of my being is ready for this experience and that now I just have to carry this through tomorrow (a training day off), the travel down, and the experience of the weekend. And I think if I follow my horoscope's advice today I can be successful in doing just that.

What makes me even happier is that I raised $4,650 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in my dear Angela's memory. I know she would be pleased and that I have done something to help others with cancer and to help bankroll a cure (along with other funds raised of course). Even better is that our team raised almost $38,000, and our team is just one of many from across the country raising money for this race or for other races like it. If just one dollar I raised helps find a cure or helps a family struggling with cancer treatments, etc., I have done exactly what I set out to do.

And I will most likely do Team in Training again. It has been the experience of a lifetime on a multitude of levels - emotionally it helped me deal with Angela's death and not feel like a victim of her cancer diagnosis, spiritually it let me see the big picture of how Angela affected all that she knew and how I could pass good from the bad forward, physically it helped me tone up, rediscover a little of that competitive nature while allowing myself to accept not being the best at something and being ok with that, drop 2 dress sizes, get into physical shape, and find something that I love and am passionate about doing.

Carrying all this with me helps me with that streamlined purpose my horoscope suggests and that fire that I feel. So far today, I've gotten boarding for the dog set up (although I have on my list to find her shot records for the new vet), a call into have my prescriptions refilled so I can pick them up this afternoon, my bike computer is installed and functional (although in km instead of miles - but I can read the manual and adjust this), and I have laundry in the wash. Bill and I decided that he is going to drive back Sunday afternoon with the girls but that I will accept the ride from my coach back home on Monday so I can stay and celebrate with the team, and my coach told me the space in her car that she offered me is definitely reserved for me. (I feel a little guilty about this because Bill will be in the car for 4 hours alone with A&M, but he assures me that he is more than happy about it and wants me to enjoy celebrating the achievement I've worked so hard for the past weeks.)

This afternoon, the cleaning people are coming to clean the house, and I will pick up my prescriptions, purchase a fine tip sharpie, pull all my gear and other items together and pack it all up. And even better, the yard man just showed up to mow. I just love it when all is right in the universe!

Sleep? Who Needs Sleep?

Last night was a sleepless mess. I fell asleep on the sofa, exhausted, after the girls went to bed and at some point during "American Idol" - my guilty pleasure. There was no swim yesterday because, well, the day was insane and never quite let up (see yesterday's posts for some of the details). Somehow my brain at least remembered I needed to get a going away party for Ladybug's teacher as today is her last day and we will miss her terribly. I remembered on the way home from getting the girls from daycare, right as Mr. Darcy called and asked if I wanted to meet him up by Waterford Lakes for dinner... which happened to be right as we pulled in the driveway to the house.

So off we went. A drive filled with Ladybug insisting I turn the car around because she wanted to go home and didn't want to meet Daddy. While Angelfish told her, "No. Daddy will be lonely and sad. We go see him." But somehow seeing Daddy made Ladybug stop crying. I think Ladybug was just tired from not sleeping that well the night before due to her little accidents. Dinner had a couple trips to the bathroom for the little ladies... dry pants all around! Whoo Hoo! Then to the store where the girls asked if we could buy all sorts of silly things for Ladybug's teacher - a ball with wierd stuff on it that lit up when you bounce it, a jar with a fake worm in it, plastic worms, glow sticks, etc. In the end, Angelfish settled on little note cards that have a picture of a crown and say"You Rule" and Ladybug chose a little pot that will grow a pink zinnia flower, and we got a gift card from us. Then back home, time for bed for the girls, a temper tantrum for Ladybug, reading books, and finally into bed for the girls. By this time it was almost 9 pm. I couldn't keep my eyes open so I knew the swim was out. I fell asleep on the sofa before they announced the second person to be eliminated, shortly after KC and the Sunshine Band.

But then I woke up at 1 am thinking. Somehow I was able to fall back asleep until 2:12 am. And then it was impossible to go back to sleep. No matter what I tried, a million thoughts and feelings just kept running around in my brain. When I went to what time it was (around 3:30 am), Mr. Darcy elbowed me in the eye and that was it. I pretty much lost it - not yelling or crying, but my brain was definitely frazzled... I was at the point of complete and utter exhaustion. So, poor Mr. Darcy was now up and we had a conversation that we probably should have had anyway, but that has been avoided or just not made time for. One of those conversations about family workloads, things left unresolved, lack of communication and hurt feelings over things said and done. Conversations either previously started and aborted or avoided because you didn't want to argue, but unintentionally ended up festering in your subconcious.

No sleep for either of us until after the alarm went off at 5:30 am when I was supposed to have gotten up to go for a bike ride down at the airport. Around 6 am I called my coach and told her that my insomnia probably had not put me in a place to ride a bike on the open roads. Only then could I sleep. Essentially one hour until Ms. Ladybug greeted us - with dry underpants - and climbed in to bed with me until she realized she needed to pee and then wandered to the bathroom. Then she went to wake her sister. Angelfish also was dry and wandered to the bathroom to go potty. 2 girls with dry beds and dry underpants! YAY!

After we got the girls ready for school, I felt the fatigue set in. But I had Mr. Darcy help me set up the trainer - me doing the hard stuff and him watching to make sure I was doing it right, so I could learn. Then we got the girls in the car, calmed the crying Ladybug with kisses and hugs and promises to pick her up from school this afternoon (she wanted to stay home with Mommy today), and I hit the trainer for an hour. My bike computer is not working, so I can only guess at what I did - I did an hour thinking that would be about 15 miles since lately I've been averaging around 17-18 mph on the flats. Slower on the up hills and often much faster on the down hills.

I will do a 2 mile run either at lunch or this evening. I'm thinking lunch is my best bet... so I really need to make sure I take a lunch today. Perhaps my 2 mile run, a quick shower, and a quick nap? Oh, perchance to dream...

I May Have Gone Crazy..

but my readers, you are guaranteed to have continuing installments of my blog. I have, with the support of my darling husband, decided that after the Olympic Distance triathlon on May 3rd (only 12 days from today), I will train for and complete the IronMan 70.3 Triathlon in Augusta, Georgia on September 27th.

This means that I will willingly (and at the moment am saying this with euphoric glee) swim 1.2 miles in the Savannah River, followed by a 56 mile bike ride through Augusta across state lines into the state of South Carolina and then back across state lines into Augusta, Georgia, and then finish up with a 13.1 mile run. As you might have figured out by now, the 70.3 in the name of this race is the total number of miles I will be doing in one day. I am almost giddy in my insanity. But then am I insane if I realize that this is quite an extreme adventure? Just keep me in your prayers as I train, and all will be well. God loves idiots and fools, as a good friend of mine likes to say.

At the moment the only thing that troubles me about the race is the elevation map of the bike course. Let's just say it's a little bit hilly. But I have time to get ready. 158 days per their website.

In other news, we had 2 girls who slept in underpants last night. They made it through the night and then peed in their beds after waking up but before running naked through the house - because who wants to be in wet clothes? The night before last Angelfish made it through the night in underpants and we woke her up so she made it to the potty in time. Day time (knock on wood) has been dry for Angelfish and mostly dry for Ladybug. Ladybug is dry if she goes to school, but she has some difficulties on Saturdays but catches on again on Sundays for some reason. So we're making progress with the other training that is going on around here too.

As for training for my upcoming race, it's going well. Saturday we did a 40 minute swim followed by a 15 mile bike and a 2 mile run. I had a lot of fun doing it and worked on my hill riding - not losing momentum by continuing to bike on the down hills - my computer isn't working (it's getting looked at this evening) so I don't know how fast I was going but it felt super fast and I rather enjoyed it! Sunday was an off day, which is good because I went to my friend's bachelorette party Saturday late afternoon until Sunday morning (we stayed overnight in a hotel) and I had a bit more to drink than I have in ages, but luckily I kept myself drinking water too so I wasn't hung over - just tired.

By Monday I recovered and swim practice was really good actually. We swam a mile and then ran a mile and then did some visualization for our upcoming race. For some reason this morning, I was rearing to go for my 5 mile run. I kept thinking of it as I slept - about having to get up and do it, about the route I was going to run, etc. So after helping get the munchkins in the car I took off on my run. 5 miles later I was completely sweaty, smelly and happy.

Tonight is our bon voyage party where we find out details about the upcoming Miami race and tally up the amounts our team has raised for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. And then swimming tomorrow morning! I'm getting super excited about the race and am looking forward to bringing the family down to Miami for the race and festivities!

Saturday, Easter and a Small (Guilty) Spring Break

Before we get to Easter, I have to tell you about Saturday. Saturday... Google gives bad directions, but luckily I had the foresight to turn around at a certain point. Saturday morning, our children decided that they wanted to get up at 5 am. At least Ladybug did, and she then woke up her sister and then they wandered into our room to wake us up. This was supposed to be a morning that I got to "sleep in" because even with an hour drive to get to my training session I didn't have to be up until 6:15 am instead of my usual 5:30 am. Angelfish wanted to go back to sleep... Ladybug wanted breakfast. So, I got dressed and gave her breakfast and then laid on the sofa. She joined me for a few minutes until I needed to leave to get teammate Ryan on the way to training.

First set of Google directions, good. Got to Ryan's house (not far from ours) with no problems. Getting to Lake Louisa was a bit ... different. 2nd set of Google directions, bad. It was foggy for one, but the directions were wierd. It had us turn down a little side street and then another that had no signage so we had to guess to turn left where we did. Then it told us to turn onto Lake Louisa Road and make another left somewhere. Let's just say that does not take you to Lake Louisa State Park, although you do get a view of the lake as you drive by. Finally, I told Ryan I was turning around. He called Coach and told her we got a little lost but were on our way and she told us that we had just needed to keep going straight instead of turning where we did. (Thankfully we never saw what we thought was Missy's car turn onto Lake Louisa and after 15 minutes I decided that was good enough of a reason to turn around... that and we were seeing signs for other Lakes in the Clermont area. The spidey sense was tingling.) But there was a line to get into the park, so we ended up being "on time" anyway.

First was a lake swim followed by about a 20 mile bike ride. (Note to self remember to check on magnet for bike computer as it was acting wonkey Saturday - my favorite was when it said my cadence was zero but that I was going 20 mph on a downhill while I was pedaling my butt off. 2nd favorite - cadence of 25 while going 18 mph and pedaling to the point my quads were aching.) I have to say, I hate lakes. They smell, they are brown and your clothing is brown when you leave them and you smell. This time I was not frightened and was smart enough to realize that the water was very cold so I needed to acclimate by sinking down into the water slowly and getting my chest used to the temperature before I started to swim. The tight chest sensation was adverted this way, letting me swim as though I was in a disgusting swimming pool and letting me focus on the buoys. The buoys actually made me smile. They were little kids pool floats - fish primarily - anchored to the lake bottom. Brightly colored but small, made sighting pretty interesting. But, I seemed to do pretty well and swam pretty straight. I was able to pass people without too much effort during the 45 minute swim because they were not sticking close to the buoys like I was. But that was to my advantage because I was able to get on the bike before them.... which I need to do. 3 of them caught me (and these guys are fast on the bike, so I expected it), but not until the 2nd lap... and then I later learned that your aren't supposed to coast on the downhills but pedal so to use the momentum to help with the up hills and keep you going fast. So we will try it for next time. And I have vowed to go to Sports Authority at the very least (if I can't get out to a bike shop) this week and get a camelbak because I'm sure I'd do better on the bike if I was drinking something (yes, Coach if you're reading this, I know you are going to kill me. But, hey. I did well for not having any liquids until after I finished didn't I?). I'd really like to get to a bike shop though because I need Chamois Butter and a trainer too. I'd love to get that done before I leave on my work trip Wednesday because then I can ensure my ride on Thursday will get done if I have a trainer sitting in my house waiting for me since I'll be in Columbus, Ohio that morning when I normally do my ride. (Another note to self - check to see if the hotel has an indoor pool for my swim workout.)

But the Saturday workout was great. I felt pretty good while doing it all. The swim wasn't bad, and the bike was good - even with all of the hills and no Chamois Butter and no hydration. When I got home, my parents had gone out to the store so I gave the girls & Mr. Darcy kisses and jumped in the shower because I smelled like a dirty, wet goat. By the time I finished my parents were back and we started our visit.

Easter was very nice. No temper tantrums save 1 or 2 at the end of the day. Angelgish kept her underpants dry and even took herself to the potty without any assistance on one occasion. Ladybug had 2 accidents, but it was better than the 5 the day before.

The night before the Easter bunny and her crew put together Easter baskets and put out the eggs for the egg hunt (courtesy of Nanna and Poppop). The girls got up on Easter around 7 am, but Nanna read them stories and took them to use the potty before we even knew that anyone was up when I woke up around 7:30 am. I was tired. The egg hunt was great and the girls loved their stickers, erasers and what not. Then breakfast and artwork, reading books, eating homemade chocolates from Nanna and playing afterwards. A walk with the family stopping to throw the frisbee around before walking to the pool where the girls put their feet in and we wandered around talking to other people at the pool (the girls were chatty) and then back to the house. Ham, potatoes, green beans, and Mango key lime pie for dinner. Parents left to head back home; we tried to get the girls down for nap and Mommy fell asleep to the point that I slept for 2 hours or so. Then we went back to the pool and the girls swam and we helped them swim. Back home for ham sandwiches for "dinner." Then off to bed for the girls. I laid in bed reading my Triathlete magazine and feeling a bit guilty for not running my 4 miles (thus the spring break) that Sunday. I even contemplated running it this morning despite having swim practice this evening. But then I realized I needed to focus on work and my blog entry and just chaulk it up to needing the sleep more than the run yesterday.

But I'm still feeling guilty about it. I just have to make sure I get in all my workouts this week so the guilt of not running the 4 miles will subside. I know I needed that nap - I never nap - but I probably needed the 4 mile run to mitigate all the food I ate (including that 1 beer I had). It is what it is and there are only so many hours in the day. I will regroup and focus.

So, I'm off to work.