Random Thoughts

My Mind is a little all over the place today, so I did some yoga after my pushups and situps that I decided to wait to do until today so I could at least stick with the Tuesday, THursday, Saturday pattern.  Of course, I'm contemplating for this week only to do THursday, Saturday, Sunday to get back on track since I missed doing it on Tuesday.

Here are my random thoughts:
1. The differences between men and women can be annoying.  For example, I argue that love is blind meaning that you can be just as attracted to someone you're in love with whether they need to lose 20 pounds or not.  Mr. Darcy argues that your love for them makes you attracted to them but that you are more attracted to them when they have lost the 20 pounds.  This frustrates me to no end, and quite frankly it makes me insecure about my physical appearance since I fall into the category of those who need to lose 20 pounds and despite my healthy eating and working out my health issues seem to preclude my losing 20 pounds.

2. I hate feeling powerless.  As in the above, it's as though Mr. Darcy has the power to make me feel better about myself by saying he doesn't think I need to lose 20 pounds.  But he won't say it because that would be "a lie."  And therefore, I internalize it and make it all my fault even though I know I am doing everything I can.  I'm working on trying to take the power back somehow. This is the only area of my life at this point that I feel insecure about and the only area where I don't feel like I have all the power. I've never been an insecure person until now.  I always thought by 35 I would be like a duck and everything would just roll off my back.  I turn 35 at the end of August, so I'll be working on it.

3. The best love is that of your children.  It's the only truly unconditional love there is, in my opinion.  No matter what you look like, job you have, etc. etc. they still love you because you're their Mommy.

4. Your true girlfriends in this life are better than family - they're the family you choose.  I'm lucky to have a few of these who love me and check in on me.  I love them more than the moon and back!

5. It's a blue sky day that has me wanting to ride my bike but at the same time I just want to do yoga to de-stress.  I will get on the bike tomorrow.  I'm determined... even if my closed road is no longer closed.

6. I never thought I would say this, but I think I love pushups.  They're still hard for me but I feel so strong afterwards.  Crunches I still could care less about.  But then I've always been able to do crunches.  In middle school I set the school record for situps when we did the President's Fitness Challenge (yep, shows my age for those of you who remember what it was).  It took until I was graduating from high school for some little whipper snapper to break it.  (My school was a magnet school combo from elementary through high school, so I still saw the PE teachers from middle school and they told me.) 

7. I played basketball, ran track, and played tennis on the 8th grade team.  I think I was born to name my bikes because I started back in the day by naming my basketball sneakers (made by Mac Gregor) - Mac and Greg.  Luckily, I'm a bit more creative these days.

8. Mr. Darcy still hasn't gotten on his bike and has a 20 mile bike ride this Saturday with the Team.  He'll be doing it on his hybrid because he also hasn't gone shopping despite my giving him a list of what to look for in a bike and gear he needs for the bike... and him admitting he doesn't understand half of what I'm talking about.

9. Before today I never really believed in the third eye concept, but after today's Third Eye Sequence I do.  I swear I can feel it on my forehead... and I am in a much more peaceful and relaxed state of mind now that I've actually done my yoga this morning. (1-8 were before yoga)

10. Forgiveness is a funny thing.  You can forgive an action of another and yet still have pain from it that can cause you to be angry again with a trigger that reminds you of the pain.  Perhaps full forgiveness is not possible  until the pain is fully alleviated. 

11. The bad thing about doing both the pushup challenge and the sit up challenge at the same time is that you can confuse your numbers.  Like today, when I thought the minumum max allowed for pushups was 48 and I made sure I did 50 (while falling to the ground as I hit 51).  Turns out the minimum max was 40 for pushups.  48 for situps!  Now I know I can do 50 pushups after several sets of them!

12. I apologize if my thoughts today are not only random but also somewhat unhappy.  Sometimes the roads of life are not always paved with happiness, but as someone said recently it's not what happens to you, it is how you deal with it. 

13. Life is a journey, a sometimes bumpy road.  But as long as you avoid getting hit by a car, you can keep on cycling!

Until tomorrow with hopefully happier thoughts...